A rough translation of the latest NUFC statement

It's business to them.
One of the big bones of contention amongst the fans currently is the level of communication from within St James’ Park. Perhaps I should say lack of communication? Maybe even complete blackout from within the corridors of power at the Cathedral on the Hill?

Which is why it was surprising and refreshing to catch wind of the fact that NUFC were planning on releasing some form of statement. It’s not the done thing at the club these days so it would be nice to hear a bit about what is going on from those upstairs instead of them leaving Alan Pardew to play the media flute.

I really can’t say that I’m surprised at what I’m going to type, but in a way I wish that they’d not bothered. What was served up was one of the most patronising, self-serving, pointless statements that I’ve ever read. If you haven’t read it for yourself yet you can view it on the official club website here or alternatively you can just read on as it’s here in its full glory.

Here goes…

“Now that the transfer window has closed, we have had some time to reflect on the business we have conducted over the summer.”

“Our aim was to secure young players who represented value for money and could add real strength to the squad. The majority of our transfer dealings were completed in the early part of the window and we feel we have signed some players of exceptional quality. Yohan Cabaye, Sylvain Marveaux, Mehdi Abeid, Demba Ba and Gabriel Obertan were all brought in early and we have seen these players settle quickly into the squad and perform well on the pitch.”

“Earlier this week we were delighted to sign Davide Santon from Inter Milan to fill our left-back position after the departure of Jose Enrique. Davide is an excellent young prospect and we’re sure he’ll be another superb addition to the squad. We also welcomed young goalkeeper Rob Elliot from Charlton Athletic who will help us retain healthy competition for that position after loaning out Fraser Forster to Celtic.”

“Of course we had also hoped to secure a further striker in the window, in addition to Demba Ba. Work to bring a striker into the club began early in the summer. Negotiations were complex and protracted and unfortunately it was disappointing that ultimately we could not secure our priority target.”

“Whilst we did turn our attention to alternative prospects in the latter stages of the window, we have a very clear transfer policy and will not make knee-**** decisions at the last-minute which are not in the best interests of the club. We understand that supporters will feel frustrated that we did not sign another striker during the window, but it was not for lack of trying that we did not bring our final target in.”

So what does this tell us? Well to be honest it’s not a lot different to what fans have been saying anyway. I’ve not heard many people slag off the new signings and most recognise that they could turn out to be very good for us. Fair play on that one.

It’s the bit about trying for the second striker that gets me. It strikes me that the board don’t really “try” that much at all, which gets hidden behind this current business model where the best interests of the club are, apparently, at heart.

The bit about not making knee-**** decisions also made me chuckle. Like sacking Chris Hughton wasn’t a knee-**** reaction. Like bidding for Charles N’Zogbia, Kieron Richardson and Bryan Ruiz wasn’t knee-****. Like letting last seasons Player of the Season leave for absolutely nothing wasn’t knee-****. Like only selling away tickets to people who pay £25 for a membership after the Darlington fiasco wasn’t knee-****.

It seems that there have been plenty of of knee-**** decisions to me.

It just makes me chuckle at how little thought and effort has been put into this statement. Once again they had a chance to really explain things and set out some ambitions rather than keeping us in the dark. Unfortunately it almost seems as though writing this was something that somebody didn’t actually want to do. It doesn’t even sound finished for ***** sake. Where is that PR woman? She needs sacking.

To sign off with I’ll once again reiterate that I never expected anything else but the bare minimum from Fatman and Throbbin. The disdain they show towards the fans is incomprehensible at times considering the fact that we are actually customers in one form or another. It would be nice to be treat like one for a change…

Rather than be treat as an inconvenience.

About toonsy

A lifelong Newcastle fan and current webmaster of this very 'blog who has the sole aim of creating a place by Newcastle United fans, for Newcastle United fans.

148 thoughts on “A rough translation of the latest NUFC statement

  1. I never thought I would ever say this but I’m boycotting until I see a change of tact by this disgraceful regime !

    I hope this is not a knee **** reaction but I at this moment in time this is my intention !

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  2. One thing we American sports fans have learned is that at the major league level, the box office is the smallest revenue stream for a club. So we just hear from the coaches & managers, never expecting anything but some sort of annual pablum from the front office. You Geordie’s have it so lucky when you consider that an American football game last 3 hours and fifteen minutes with all but 13 minutes (when a team is running a play) is filled with commercials. Who of you would want to go to STJ Park and have the ball held along the sideline until the commercial break is over?

    So enjoy the new lads, who are a cut above what we had to watch for good portions of last year.

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  3. Toonsy you nailed a lot of my points there mate. I am fuking fuming because even after all the sh1te we have been through they still dont give a flying fuk about us the supporters. aslong as they are getting enough fans through the gates they dont give 2 ***** about us, and will continue to treat us like fuking muppets.
    While they are cost cutting I think they should get shot of the head of PR because she is fuking useless, unless she is doing stuff on the side for SD ?

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  4. @stu

    I’ve been at breaking point for years. I will watch in the pub from now on in protest.

    Disgusted !

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  5. Exactly your thoughts Toonsy.Wasn’t expecting anything else from these clowns.And if you don’t expect,you can’t be dissapointed…

    BTW, this was originally posted for The Dimple Boy on the previous thread but since everyone moved onto this thread,I will post it again.Can anybody explain the following to me??

    Check out this pic of Santon from the official site.The sign behind Santon seems to have been taken away.I first thought that it was just blurred due to the sunlight falling on it.But when you zoom in,you can see that the beginning is virtually invisible.
    http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20110830/santon-my-dream-move_2281670_2436823
    But the sign is mysteriously still there in this pic of Elliot who was signed on the same day.
    http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20110830/elliot-becomes-a-magpie_2281670_2436768
    And also present on this pic of Santon from another angle.Weird I tell you…
    http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20110830/newcastle-sign-davide-santon_2281670_2436667

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  6. Cheers Dave 🙂

    Still undecided on whether to do an article for it or whether I’ve missed the boat or not 😕

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  7. @Deepak

    If you zoom in closely enough you can see Stardust with his paintbrush and White paint!

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  8. They do not like Newcastle United. They did not grow up with it. They bought it for a lark and then found they’d been screwed. Then they discovered that running a football club the size of Newcastle United was complicated and it had something they could not control – the Toon Army. They hate the club. It’s a nightmare to them. They can only look at it coldly, as a business. “F the fans” is their policy. It’s either run the place on a shoestring or sell it.

    The fans have two options: 1) go on strike and boycott all matches or, 2) lump it and give full support to what we must endure. The only saving grace is their understanding that the players on the pitch have to be good enough to compete and survive in the Premiership. But MA and DL will never love the club. They look at it coldly, without emotion. Hence this kind of bollox statement. Period.

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  9. Anyone else think England have some really good players now? This formation is the way forward I think. We’d be better with Gerrard and Wiltshire in the middle though.

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  10. Stuart – Didn’t watch it. They’ll just get embarrased by other teams in the summer anyway. That is if they aren’t embarrasing themselves. Zero interest in the national team still

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  11. Yes the disappointment is deep for most of us. Really another public relations fiasco especially with plenty of evidence of the United sign coming down in the stadium. Where do they go from here? Surely Ashley can see that Lambias’s credibility is long gone. Surely a positive signal could be Ashley sacking Llambias and replacing him with someone who has a depth of football experience. Could this happen. Not sure unless the attendance takes another big drop. Nothing else seems to have an effect on the owner other than threats to his pocket book. Does Ashley really want a war with his own supporters. I suppose we are going to find out in the coming weeks and months.

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  12. To mix Toonsy and Dave, we are treated like inconveniencing muppets…
    They use our passion against us. They know that no matter how much they **** in our face, we still come back for more because we love the club. I’m sick of it.
    THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO COME UP WITH A GOOD LIE…

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  13. Yes they have released a statement that tells us what we already know but i think its a case this time round of , damned if they do , damned if they don’t . Lets face it , what else could they say ? and if they said nothing about the transfer window their would of been people clamouring for an explanation about why no striker . My view was we were limited in choices , Pardew stated he wanted a striker with pace to play off a target man , fair do’s but he should of kept his mouth shut . The fact he brought that out meant any team with a striker that fitted that requirement knew they could push the price up above the true worth of the player . This regime will not be held to ransom either by player’s or selling club and rightly so , meaning next time Pardew should keep his mouth shut to the media about targets and let Carr and Lamearse do the wheeling and dealing . Still think all told it was a decent transfer window for us though and a finish between 10th and 7th is on .

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  14. I wonder if a civil action lawsuit can be put against them for false advertising or being prix

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  15. deepak is an indian toon @ 10
    Thats is where were having the nice new Sports Direct @ SJP sign put up, and for all the fans that think MA is stupid he has clearly got his head screwed on because that is the most pictured part and the one that gets the most air time on Sky tv etc

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  16. Big Dave- you just know he’s been watching the tele just drooling at that spot on the stadium picturing that bollix all these years.
    The thoughts run across my mind as well thinking how long before he puts his greasey fingers to work on that.

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  17. Axel @ 19 so you think it was all Pards fault because he said we needed a striker even when everyboby else and their dogs even knew we needed one 🙂
    So there is no chance then that the club ( MA and DL )just wouldn’t pay the money that it costs to bring a quality striker in ??

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  18. WOW, someone from the club could actually be arsed to release a statement!!! why bother??? its what we know already – fatman and derek the **** were just wasting their time with this nonsence, when i heard earlier on this morning that the club were to release a statement, i had my fingers crossed that the fatman was putting the club on the market AGAIN.. how upset was i when this wasnt the case!!!! as for AP, do what keegan done, resign due to the fact you were promised players that didnt happen, that way . you will have some respect with the toon army, and walk away with some settlement, UNLESS the rumours are true boot you oweing Ashley and Llambias your gambling debts!!!
    ill be there every home game this season, to support the TEAM, but i’ll not be buying any food or drink inside the stadium, and i urge every toon fan to do the same, AND , boycott FATMANS sportshops!!!!
    Every morning i wake up, turn on skysports news, hoping to see “BREAKING NEWS – ASHLEY HAS SOLD NEWCASTLE” if only!!!!
    sorry i went on a bit, but like every toon fan, i could go on and on for ages……

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  19. I read regular people saying stay away and this will hurt Ashley in his pocket.
    No it won’t.
    All that will happen is to raise the funds he will sell our best players.
    He will cling to the hope that a star can be discovered by Carr or through our academy

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  20. Paul Wright – No point starving yourself kiddo. Ashley sold off the food inside the ground and now it’s run by outside caterers.

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  21. Big Dave @21 do you think Ashley realizes how angry a Sports Direct sign there will make the supporters? I can’t believe it. Even for him this is a complete disaster. I think he has just stepped over the line again as with the lies in court about Keegan. It looks to be a very tense few weeks ahead. If the team has trouble scoring and we slide down the table that may be the final straw. If Ba or Best go down with serious injuries where would we be? The same goes for Colo and Saylor at the back. This can only end in tears for Ashley and Llambias. If Ashley had just kept his word about a striker and finished the window well, and left the United sign alone I think we would have been well pleased. But instead he has stirred up a hornets nest again.

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  22. I like the way it’s stated that it wasn’t through lack of trying (to get a striker in), funny that, because when a freebie is on offer, there is never an issue!!! Marveux was signed the same night he discussed a contract with Liverpool. Why didnt Ashley just say to the fans, I’m keeping the 35m towards paying my debts off, I’m keeping the TV revenue as well and I’ll let Pardew buy a few players with the income generated from player sales. At least the fans wouldn’t have been lied to or have had their expectations falsley raised in anticipation. So basically Ashley has taken all Geordies for MUGS, the choice is there to make now, be a mug and go to the games or stay away until the current owner and board is no longer. harder for some than others, but to be honest I never expected only 42000 at the last home game so plenty of fans are calling it a day. The only problem I see is that match day income is perhaps only a drop in the ocean towards revenue and he might not be botheres if gates dropped down to 20000

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  23. even i am stunned at that pile of dog **** that dekka has served up. it is absolutley oozing with contempt and hatred for the fans of nufc. it is clear he hates us with a passion. i am gob smacked really. i have always said they are bad but i want to know, do they go out on purpose to try to make themselves look even worse?? the entire footballing world and all the papers will have a field day with this latest slap in the face and two fingers at nufc. I agree now with a comment above.. i will not go to a game again and my four season tickets will go unused now for the remainder of the season and i will not renew now. i have been wrestling with my heart over head for two seasons anyway but this is the final bit of disgusting **** that i will let happen without doing something about it. i know all the guys around me and they all used to be hanging by a thread for club over ashley.. i suspect that this will create a huge exodus in fans from the club. i will support my team as an armchair pundit from now on and i hope that ashley has soon made enough to move on and leave us be. only then will i start going again. sad sad, we used to have a two year waiting list ffs.. now we are all leaving as sooner or later, you just cant keep taking it up the ****. enough is enough. for me, the time has come to make a stand.

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  24. Look at transfer activity of other clubs – some of it in the last 72 hours. We had seven or eight months to get our act together. If we failed good management would surely want to learn why they failed. Maybe, just maybe, showing contempt for fans, seeing top players leave, made us less attractive. Maybe agents don’t like the way we negotiate. Maybe we are upsetting too many people. Maybe other clubs are buying
    but buying recklessly. Maybe we thought Erdinc was nailed on and we wasted too much time there. Maybe the club are not nervous enough of fans reactions.
    In any other walk of life failure in a fundamental task would see heads roll. We are the third best supported club in the land. We punch below our weight and it is simply not good enough.
    Incidentally it is not just a striker (priority though it is) as I am very nervous of our prospects if Colo or Taylor are suspended or injured. The squad is not strong enough albeit some good new additions.

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  25. i don,t get this idea that we have improved the squad during the transfer window some of the players haven,t played yet.enrique was one of the best left backs in the country barton was our player of the year last season and nolan was our captain and leading goal scorer.we have loaned out one of our goalkeepers who now has european experience and replaced him with a 1st div player.carroll is better than any striker that we now have.so before i say we have improved the squad lets see if we finish the season higher than we finished last season.a lot of fans got excited when we got 35million for carroll but what good has it done us i would have preferred it if carroll had stayed sod the money its only gone in ashleys pocket

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  26. paul wright @ 24 thats a brilliant idea Pards should walk and we can get JFK back 🙂
    Craig they are not stupid mate there is noway in this world that they didn’t realise that that statment wouldn’t make it clear that they didn’t give a fuk what we think, my guess is that Pards has maybe asked them to issue a statment to try to break the ice because he knows that he is going to feel the wrath from the fans

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  27. Dave – If there is one thing that the statement shows its that Pardew was as equally as stitched up as we feel and that he wasn’t talking bollocks and was just relaying what he thought the gimps were up to.

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  28. Big Dave @33 they have broken the ice all right, and now Pardew may as well just jump in and float away. I for one hope he doesn’t resign over this as we will end up with JFK as you say. Now we are committed to Pardew’s style of play and he must stay or we will pay the price again. Very difficult position for the supporters. Say nothing and the owner thinks he can get away with anything. Protest and maybe undermine the spirit of the squad. As far as the matches go I support the team all the way but away from the ground it should be obvious to Ashley and Llambias that they are unwelcome. Agree with Blaydonson @ 30 that our management don’t want to or don’t care to learn from their mistakes. Another sign of utter lack of engagement with the supporters.

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  29. I don’t really know why fans are always clamouring for the board to talk and tell us things. No other clubs really do, i feel we got spoiled with freddy shephards i’ll tell you everything and a bit more attitude. It doesn’t really bother me, Whenever they say anything everyone pulls holes in it anyway.

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  30. Toonsy

    Surely Kadar doesn’t need to be named is he not classed as an academy product ot under 21. I may have to bow to your superior knowledge as I am not sure

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  31. Craig no im saying thats maybe what Pards asked for, but what we got was Lambs version.
    Toonsy I like the guy and I dont believe that he is in on it in anyway with the fukers. I feel for him as there is noway he would risk the rest of his career and to dirty his name to help them 2 make fuking mugs out of us .
    TBH the more under fire Pards gets the more I grow to like the guy. I have watched his interviews and normally when I can see a person face to face I can read if they are lying, and I honestly believe that he has told us what he thought was the case.

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  32. what gets me is that theres still people out there that thinks the sun rises and sets in ashleys ar$e hole..
    this man has made his money from selling cheap clothes,now he thinks he can run a premier league club the same way,it just wont work,look at the money that has been spent this window on transfers..

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  33. Actually toonsie’s link looks more correct but only includes 21 names? I thought there would be 22 based on my count 2 days ago. So we are short players. Kadar turned 21 in March so he should be in the squad if he is going to play shouldn’t he? Even so we are short players. We didn’t replace Campbell so that would be one. I think they left room for a striker so that is 2. Maybe leaving room for Kadar in case of injuries as well?

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  34. I was thinking that toby as theres only 21 in that list so it would be silly to not just put him on anyway.

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  35. 41…. you goda be kidding m8.. you telling me that you never think of every single statement as rude and off hand, non plussed and offensive?
    This is nothing to do with investing in players as we all know they will not ever ever ever. this is just about growing a set of nads and telling the truth as lets be honest, we all know it anyway. if you or i or anyone ran a business and lets say for instance you say to your customer,’ look, fuk off id you dont like it’, or say, next week we have some great new products coming in’.. but them products never arrive, or when that customer asks you to try and get some special bit of equipment in, ‘8 months later you say, oh we tried hard, if you dont like you can **** off. Well , i think we would be bust pretty sharpish and have a stinking reputation. And no matter what anyone says.. our attenances are going down now all the time.. its only for one reason too, not holidays or recession etc.

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  36. TlR – Aha good point. The rule is that he needed to be under 21 in January, and he was by two months. Touche 🙂

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  37. What an absolute **** , I’ll not be going to any games this year either, a real pity our players have to suffer through this too. If he even tried to see it from our point of view and get the fans on side it would make for a better atmosphere inside the ground which in turn would help grind out results which would help the club going forward, but for all this “for the good of the club” nonsence, we the fans are being insulted and that in turn is going to affect the support inside the ground, hurting the club they say interests they are looking out for. No effort in that statement whatsoever. Saddens me

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  38. BIG DAVE@23 my point being not that he said we need a striker , but what type of striker . Thus selling teams thinking there is not many of these types available , lets hike up the price because they are desperate . Yeah we could of overpaid for one but what chance they would come and make an impact , like Luque , Kluivert , Xisco , Martins , Viduka and Owen did . Face it we were being held to ransom because of the 35 million anyhow and i am not trying to defend fatman and lamearse , i want them out just like any other fan , but paying over inflated fee’s and wages gets us nowhere , history proves that .

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  39. My own brief analysis (or ****-ysis, an ailment commonly associated with NUFC, or talking ****) :

    A) …..”Our aim was to secure young players who represented value for money” – Buy ’em cheap, sell ’em on for profit. – CHECK

    B) ….”sign Davide Santon from Inter Milan to fill our left-back position after the departure of Jose Enrique” – Sell an established Premier League player, buy in a younger, cheaper version (see A). CHECK

    C)…..”Work to bring a striker into the club began early in the summer.” – and we signed Demba Ba – CHECK

    D) …..”it was not for lack of trying that we did not bring our final target in.” – just who exactly was this “final target”? Kevin Gameiro? No he never wanted to sign. Gervinho? No, he was always going to Arsenal. Maiga? No, less said the better on that one. Bryan fkn Ruiz? You’re having a laugh………”FINAL EFFIN TARGET? MY ****……… BULLSEYE!!!

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  40. So what advantage do we gain by having a small (21 man) squad other than the obvious of having to pay less wages? I can’t think of any? With Kadar still not having to be included as Tobey pointed out. For months people on various sites said we could only bring players in when we sent players out because we had a full squad. So what happened? We lost Barton and didn’t replace him and we had never replaced Campbell but even so we are still short now by 4 players in a sense. I know we can bring in young players and we have Santon who is only 20, Tavernier, and Sammy Ameobi but don’t most teams fill out their 25 man rosters in addition to having young players? This is not criticism of anyone just trying to understand this. Is it another attempt to save money only?

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  41. Well I’ll try to get to some away games cos the shitehawks won’t see that money. I’ll watch the rest in the pub or on the interweb.
    I won’t buy any more merchandise.

    People taking the **** is part of life.

    But there is no way on earth I’m going to continue to actually PAY this gaggle of c@nts to do it week-in week-out.

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  42. Actually scratch that. I’m not going to the away games either. Forgot about the rip off imposed after Darlo.

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  43. Axel my point was that your laying the blame directly on Pards because he confirmed what everyone else knewthe selling clubs upped their price, but then you say we are being held to ransom because of the £35mill ?
    So which one do you think it is the £35 mill or Pards ?
    If its the £35mill will then we are in trouble come Jan window because everyone knows that the £35 is still there

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  44. GeordieTwo – Vot many teams name a full 25 man squad. Everton have 19, arsenal 22, Chelsea 23. The 21 mark is just about average. It’s closer to 22 in fairness but we aren’t far off.

    Besides, there are still players U-21 who can be named yet although it’s unlikely that any will be as it’s kind of pointless 🙂

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  45. What they are doing is looking to buy players who had huge potential and then a bad season or fell out with the other club. It is so risky compared to going to a smaller club with a really good player and then saying right we’re having him and we’ll pay what it takes. Hate to say it but Ben Arfa has done virtually nothing for newcastle after one season plus 3 games of time. If you leave aside the circumstances it is the case Santon had a poor season last year. We have bought these players in the hope that they will all discover 100% of their potential. In some cases it will come off and we will have a bargain but in other cases we will have a crock or a player who isn’t good enough. Our squad looks a bit thrown together, especially the offensive players. I can’t think of two strikers where I think ‘they could play together and strike up a great partnership. The only place where that happened last season was Jonas + Enrique and Barton + Carroll. Both of those partnerships have been removed.

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  46. DJG – It depends of we’re going to see a shift in formation from two conventional strikers and move away from the outdated and antiquated 4-4-2. if we do then I don’t think it’s overly important having two striker who can work together as there won’t be room in the team for two

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  47. ….and as for “final target”…….HAHAHAHA, the final target roughly translates to having 5 darts to hit a dartboard, take your time now, 7 months.

    First dart bounces off the wire – ooooooooh, unlucky.

    2nd dart – was never thrown.

    3rd, 4th and 5th dart – try to hit a treble 20, from 10ft, with a guinea pig.

    ….but instead of a dartboard, you have the gaping jaws of a shark.

    ……IN THE BAG!!!!

    Good shot lads, pat the back for all.

    (any darts left? ….nah, the shark ate them all)

    (sounds like a good laugh anyway – wish I was on the fkn board)

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  48. Does the statement really make any difference to what we already knew? Not really. Just more ammo for the negatrons to get down about.

    Happy with signings overall. Wished we had a striker but that’s gone and now I’m going to support who is there.

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  49. DJG, pretty much agree with most of that.

    The reason is clear too. The primary motivation behind everything they’ve done is financial.
    The football comes a very, very distant second. If it is given any consideration at all.

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  50. I would still like to have 2 strikers that could play together though. Like a Crouch + Defoe or a Carroll + Suarez. The strikers we have are clueless, Ameobi is either offside or holds up the ball for a bit and then loses it, Ba is just looking to run on to things, Peter is just fking clueless and no-one even bothers to look for his runs anymore. Best is actually the most useful at hold up and play to another striker or winger.

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  51. ……negatron, I quite like that actually. Much better than ‘moaning *******’, makes me feel all transformery, gee, thanks bkemp247!

    Power up!

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  52. Troy, I can email you the secret code of the NEGATRONS, but you have to answer me a few fol-de-rol-riddles first.

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  53. Notice that he didn’t mention the money being made available in January or that they’ll back Pardew or anything like that. Not that I’d put any stock in it if he did say it but interesting.

    Wonder if Ashley gave pards a voucher for one striker (with a transfer fee) and it expires at the end of the year

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  54. Car’nt be arsed to moan ,will just watch my team dear god i Know he may be right but i do;nt want a ticket on the Bobby ,Troy train,but i may have to purchase one.I have followed you through thick and thin ,mostly thin,give me something to smile about.Pards I feel sorrry for you,tis two could not lie straight in bed.

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  55. ….and Troy, never forget…..

    ANGER IS AN ENERGY
    ANGER IS AN ENERGY
    ANGER IS AN ENERGY
    ANGER IS AN ENERGY!

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  56. Rodz

    Let me try to explore your world without inviting negatrons to the opening ceremony!

    How would that meet the expectations of the mysterious world of Terry Nutkins considering he has known him for a long time.

    Let’s consider Lambias’ statement in depth and disect it with precision analysis, above and beyond the normal speed limit.

    You did say it was 30mph on this blog didn’t he?
    Or was it 70mph with the main beam stretching from one solid wall to the next?

    Real cash ! A right good laugh! You know it!

    Mad ! I’m losing it! Why? I’m fizzin!

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