Archie’s Alternative Assessment of Derek’s rant

Was Llambias bang on the money?

Was Llambias bang on the money?
As you get older you tend to care a little less each day about what other people think.

This was always going to end in tears with me, as I was never one of the most tactful person you’d ever meet in the first place.

Don’t you think the world would be a much better place if we were just honest with each other? I mean truly honest?

A few years ago I ended up in a pub having a rather frank discussion with a workmate, sorry, that should be “colleague”. Workmate makes it sound too “pally”.

The end of the conversation went along the lines “Archie, let’s be honest, you don’t really like me, do you?”

“Are we being really honest Les?”


“Honestly – I can’t f@ck!ng stand you”

Les knew exactly where he stood with me, there was none of this artificial niceness that makes your skin creep, and we got on with it.

Occasionally you might end up regretting the odd comment but it’s amazing how quickly people adapt to your honestly, saying things like , “Oh, it’s only Archie, just ignore him”.

At a company function our regional director introduced himself and told us that he always made a point of getting out and meeting the troops. As it had taken him 5 years to get round to us I just had to suggest that maybe he wasn’t doing a very good job of it.

Not to worry – by that time my career had pretty much died a natural death anyway.

A very good mate of mine ended up marrying a tart from Sunderland, who already had a young boy – obviously the result of a drunken one night stand with the Satan’s morality counselor.

At 9 years old the kid would walk behind his mother and mouth obscenities at her.

Standing at the bar in her home suggesting to other party goers that you could easily fix the kid with a time machine and DIY vasectomy kit probably explains why that was the last time I was invited into the household.

As you can imagine it has been suggested at times, usually by the missus, that I should I probably consider keeping my mouth shut now and again, but where’s the fun in that?

I have a certain admiration for people who stand up in front of the cameras and express their honest opinions, especially when they fall well outside the mainstream.

So it appears that Llambias has been caught off camera slagging off a number of our legends. Hardly a good idea you may think.

Apparently he suggested that Keegan couldn’t cope with pressure – hardly a front page scoop when you consider that King Kev walked out on so many jobs they changed the sign on his office door from “Manager” to “Exit”

There’s a wonderful Tommy Cooper sketch where the maestro walks on stage carrying a painting and a violin. “I’ve just been to an auction and bought a Van Gogh and a Stradivarius”

“Unfortunately Stradivarius couldn’t paint, and Van Gogh couldn’t make Violins”.

Llambias then said that the appointment of Shearer as Manager was a mistake. I think 5 points out of 24 probably backs up that statement. Shearer was a gem of a painter, but………

Another of his pearls of wisdom suggests that Hughton was too indecisive. Really – wow, this is strong stuff.

Now – here’s the interesting bit – Llambias is said to have insisted that the Scousers pay cash up front for Carroll.

First of all – it has already been announced by Ashley’s regime that gone are the days of buying and selling players on installments, so there’s no biggie there. Secondly – I wouldn’t sell my car to a Scouser in installments, never mind a 35 million quid player. Good on yer Degs!

Finally Llambias is reported to have said that Carrolls true value was “#### all”.

Compared to the 35 million that we got for him, he’s probably right.

So is this the big shock horror story that the Sunday Mirror is claiming?

I hardly think so. The guy has expressed a personal opinion on people who are no longer with the club.

Is this on a par with Freddy Shepherd slagging off Owen while he was still at the club? No.

Is this anywhere near as bad Shepherd and Douglas Hall’s comments about female fans, merchandising and Shearer? Nowhere near it.

Is this a storm in a teacup blown out of all proportion by the media to sell newspapers?


Maybe Llambias’s missus needs to give him a bit of advice on keeping his mouth shut.

Do we really care? Personally – I couldn’t give a toss.

Do you care?

I’m sure you are going to let me know.

128 thoughts on “Archie’s Alternative Assessment of Derek’s rant

  1. Dekka’s indiscretion was in the Shark lounge after the Tottenham game last month. He also told the same group that Modobo Maiga is a done deal, after he met the Sochaux chairman in Paris. Brian McNally was behind the splash and the fan(s) in question got close to 10 grand.


  2. lol ..are well, that ok m8. As long as he’s put in some dirty money into the club and the Russian mafia have kidnapped some folf thats acceptable. but DL can’t tell a few home truths and get away with it..


  3. so its ok for Abramovic to be involved in this ”

    Roman Abramovich has been alleged to be involved in various wrongdoings by many people. It is also alleged that, at one time, then Russian president Boris Yeltsin himself provided Abramovich with protection from prosecution for various criminal activities ranging from stealing diesel fuel to illegally acquiring Sibneft at a staged contest.[citation needed] The Times[30][40] said that Abramovich “famously emerged triumphant after the “aluminium wars”, in which more than 100 people are believed to have been killed in gangland feuds over control of the lucrative smelters. He avoided the fate of a rival oligarch who annoyed the Kremlin and ended up being transported to jail in Siberia for ten years,” and “Numerous officials and executives are said to have lost their lives”. Nonetheless, many of the allegations against Abramovich are unproven and he has never been convicted of any crime in any world court.

    but DL is the badman for saying KK’s head is all over the place?


  4. Mark I never said it was ok I just stated that the Chelski fans wont be to worried, if that is proved to be true.
    But do you think Jabba’s money is Clean do you think child labour in dirty sweat houses is ok as that has been well documented, they were treated like slaves ?


  5. the thing i admire in people is being honest,haveing respect for others,being loyal and trustworthy,sadly those at SJP have none of the above,luckly they cannot buy that, it has to be earned so they have no chance imo


  6. But do you think Jabba’s money is Clean do you think child labour in dirty sweat houses is ok as that has been well documented, they were treated like slaves ?

    aye m8, I think ppl should keep there noses out of sweat houses. Why don’t all of us PC friendly chaps that don’t buy clothes from Asia buy from elsewhere. Lets see where it leaves the ‘sweat-shop’ workers and their dependant families. Its not a great situation m8 but I bet you’d rather pay £8 for a top then £20.


  7. Ah just love honesty,nivvor liked Dekka before this mind but now I see him as a cult figure…
    “Honest Mike and Dekka”
    A couple of ruthless b@stards…I love it….


  8. @mark

    I’m sure Dalglish and their board didn’t think torres was worth £50m but you don’t see them down the local, giving it large and taking the piss out of Chelsea . They have more professionalism.


  9. @troy

    “I’m sure Dalglish and their board didn’t think torres was worth £50m but you don’t see them down the local, giving it large and taking the piss out of Chelsea . They have more professionalism.”

    yes, totally agree m8. like I said, that was DL’s only crime. He’s as thick and seedy as Fat Freddy when he was caught mouthing off.


  10. Berb @88
    How do you know? Just cos some Scouse spy hasn`t secretly recorded them and sold it to some rag..


  11. anyway, I’d rather have DL making a fool of himself then our Chariman giving Kenny D loads of money to squander on shit players.

    We’ve been down that route and it didnt work. Like I said earlier we should stick to enjoying the performances on the pitch not concentrating on hear-say and gossip, leave that to the facebook and twitter crew.


  12. It’s only our regime who cut aboot the local drinking haunts with the club colours on, drinking in the stands, streaking across the pitch, lying to the fans and tribunals, refuse to even contact prospective managers following an interview for a job, fail to tell fans about the name change of the ground before selling them season tickets.

    Enough said really. 😯


  13. Mark he is a cod fanatic so he wanted it for his birthday, and he is asking santa for Battlefield3 😀

    Troy he forgot to tell Shearer that he had gave the job to Hooters, after he told him the job was his


  14. 2 points to make:-
    1. Lambias has only repeated what the majority of us has said at one time or another after a few too many shandies so good on him.
    2. Totally unprofessional due to his position within the club as it fuels the fires of both the toon hating soft southern media and the fickle whinging fans who also couldn’t run a club between them either. Sod em all.


  15. Berb @ 95..How many true supporters wouldn`t get a season ticket, due to a name change on the stadium.It will always be SJP…


  16. KEV
    November 13, 2011 at 21:04
    2 points to make:-
    1. Lambias has only repeated what the majority of us has said at one time or another after a few too many shandies so good on him.<<<< think you got majorityn mixed up with minority unless of course you drink with stardust and his 12 brothers


  17. @ashingtern

    It’s got nothing to do with how many fans might not have bought tickets, it’s the fact they were underhand by not telling them.

    It stinks. 😯


  18. Archie, it’s what Derek didn’t say iin front of the fans that is the most telling:

    Then Derek turned to Fat Mike beside him and said: “Mind you, the biggest load of tossers ’round ‘ere are the f*****g fans! What a load of wankers! They haven’t got a f*****g clue how to run a football club. You’ve put f*****g millions into this club and all they want is to give you a f*****g hard time. Loosers, the lot of ‘em!” Followed by a very loud belch as he slams his empty beer glass onto the counter. Exit pub through main door. Trips outside on pavement and the cussing continues…


  19. Sir bobby would be turning in his grave at these comments. this is all sad, and I think its sadder than we realise, the two of them are a cancer in that club..and sometimes it takes years for that disease to truly manifest itself. what they are saying and how they are going about it will only end bad for our great club.

    I believe in karma and hopefully they will get theirs; and we can get our club back with no further reputational damage.



  20. Sorry lads but having just moved house we have no internet at the minute so its all a bit hit and miss with the responses and even the articles.

    I read some of the responses to Toonsy earlier on the same subject and understand the consternation with regard to slagging Big Al off and also KK.

    Don’t get me wrong on either, both heroes of massive standing and i have the hugest respect for both, but chucking Al in at the 11th hour and especting a miracle, from an totaly unproven quantity was always going to be either a stroke of genius or, as it turned out, an attempt to placate the fans with possibly the biggest name in modern Toon history (no disrespect to SBR)
    As for Keegan, appearance and fact may be at odds here but at the end of the day hardly what you would call a long term employee.

    As for Degs – the mans a star. I’d buy him a beer.

    Some of my bestmates are total dicks.


  21. @Archie

    You still miss the point .

    We all accept that he was being honest and most of what he said was fairly accurate.

    It’s the fact, he puts himself in those positions to be caught out.
    He’s the chairman of a premiership club and he’s drinking in a local bar after a match.

    You don’t catch other chairmen from big clubs talking boardroom banter in local pubs.

    As you mentioned earlier to another blogger. Get a grip! 😛


  22. @spence

    Now that was funny 😛

    I will buy you a pint cos your honesty matches mine. I can’t stand him either. 😛


  23. The flaw in the Shearer argument is that the damage had already been done by the time he stepped in so its easy for Llambias to shift the blame onto him, Shearer himself was too loyal to say no.
    The comments by Llambias show his lack of class or understanding of the club, he has no feeling for the club and never will so we shouldnt be surprised by the article.
    And on the article itself, i have been waiting for some muck raking from the press as they will do their utmost to derail the run the team is on, they seem to take some perverse pleasure in bringing anyone or anything to its knees.
    And McNally, if my memory serves me right, has a history of slagging the cub off, he portrays himself as a Celtic fan but im sure hes also a mackem fan too.


  24. @Paulinhollywood

    Another good point made.
    If he hadn’t been surrounded by the fans and was sitting with Jabba, the conversation would be exactly that.

    We know it but Archie justifies it.

    Pathetic. 😯


  25. @Robert

    All the more reason for the owner and chairman to be on their guard.

    What a great idea. Go to a pub in the toon after a game . The fans won’t ask us any questions which might be used against us at a later date.

    Their genius is genius. 😯


  26. Troy Stavers

    Not missing the point at all mate – just dont agree with it.

    We all make our choices on how we behave and how we interact with others.

    I don’t really think that I have the right to tell you how to behave based on my perception of what you do or who you are. Thats your choice. Free will, right to choose – all that stuff.

    Maybe Llambias should have been a bit more tactful and kept his gob shut but I thought we’d established a long time ago that neither he nor Ashley really give a shit about what the fans expect.


  27. @paulinhollywood

    We can speculate on what might have been said elsewhere (Ashley etc, and could be bang on the nail)

    When we sit down and submit our comments to the blogs, or write to the newspapers or stand on our little soap boxes in Hyde Park we are entitled to express our opinion freely and openly.

    I can’t understand why the fans think that the Chairman should not be allowed to do that.

    Is it what he said, where he said it, who he said it to, the fact he was pissed or the bad language?

    Yeah – bit of a bugger that – the man had a few beers and said something he maybe shouldn’t

    They do say that alcohol is a liberator, freeing the mouth to express the true thoughts of the individual, bypassing the filters of the brain.


  28. Why all the righteous anger here what about the so called fans who were willing to make the club a laughing stock for ten grand- World Class Supporters my @rse.


  29. @Archie

    You do miss the point repeatedly. You are clearly too naive to see it. Crack on with your naive views. It gives me plenty of ammunition. 😛


  30. Im amazed that, what seems like the majority, fans are just accepting this as acceptable behaviour, i dont care in what circumstance. He is the chairman of Newcastle United, what happened to conducting yourself with a bit of class/dignity.
    Shearer inherited a squad that was relegated before he even took a session, we were fucked well before that. Mourinho wouldnt of kept us up.
    Notice not one mention of Joe Kinnear, that was probably his decision too, he got us relegated, dont see derek taking any credit for that though?
    Chris hughton dug us right out of the shit, on a tight budget in a difficult transition, beats the mackems 5-1 has us steady in league then gets sacked. If he was so bad, again, why did you employ him.
    Keegan left because people were working behind his back and proven to be lying to him.
    But obviously none of this matters cos at least he’s an honest bloke eh.
    This club makes me fucking sick at times it really does.
    But at least we still have the sports direct arena eh….


  31. Its all been said before but here i go ,
    Keegan was appointed by them and then they lied to him thats why he won millions of pounds in court !
    The team were relagated long before shearer took the reins because of mistakes made by the regime !
    When sheperd did it he was bang out of order just as lamearse is now , a billionaire and his charva mate taking turns of stripping and standing in bars telling the fans how scared we should be of them ! they are a pair of fly by night knackers with no clue about football !
    People like you have respect for him , why
    the honesty !
    the money they have pumped into buying players !
    the great decitions they have made !
    the great public relations !
    I dont give a shit if he gets pissed and runs his mouth of , thats what people who are above there station and are jealous of footballing legends will tend to do .
    What i care about is they lied to Keegan appointed D Wise , appointed J Kinnear as our manager got us relegated after 16 years in the premier league lied about investing the carroll money lied about signing a stiker and changed the name of our historic stadium , and my crystal ball says they lied about buying a player with the money from the nameing rights .
    And people still use the words respect and saved the club ,


  32. Whi cares I don’t give a stuff, we are 3rd in the premiership I can take all the rubbish the papers serve up and wrap the dogs mess up in it, its a fitting use for newspapers and the crap they write.


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