The stress of being a Newcastle United fan

Keegan sporting his multi-coloured mullet
Once dark, well groomed hair is quickly replaced by a salt and pepper receding hairline for those fans that are fortunate enough to support the best club in the world (my bias), Newcastle United!

Now we accept this as part and parcel of getting the bug and unconditionally being a fan of this fantastic club, isn’t that correct?

We as fans aren’t the only ones that have to change passports or renew driving licences or any other form of official documents that require a photo, due to the ever changing faces and hair loss we endure over a period of just one decade, because it seems that anyone taking on a role at the club in any non playing capacity, generally suffer the same fate.

Look at Keegan and McDermott, dark curly perms, replaced in short order to salt and pepper thinning slightly wavy hair styles, all done in one stint at the club. Need I go on?

Lately, the club have took a firm stance on this and have hired either bald or ready grey replacements to save them the stress of watching their once young facial features ebb away under a disguise of stress veins and wispy blue rinse looking hair.

Joking aside, we seem to accept the stresses that come with being a fan because usually that’s how we have been conditioned, either due to kamikaze defences or nearly there title challengers and our fair share of dodgy goalkeepers and inept strikers over time.

Now all this was achieved without the benefit of the internet for us older lads who relied on TV or newspapers to get us panicking as well as the excitement watching the match whilst shouting, “ohhhh…oooooooh….ohhhhh noooooo” and covering our faces and also doing the Roy Hodgson face scrub as well as trying to drag our cheeks down to our chins. The stress of it all…

Well folks, I think we have now entered the 21st century with a new kind of stress and it is the age of the Newcastle United fan online.

Yes folks, we have bestowed our own stresses upon ourselves because ‘NOW’ we have all football corners covered with the invention of internet football forums, where we can all gain more knowledge from our peers and those in the know or those that we think are in the know.

Anything that is or isn’t official , will do the rounds on forums/twitter/facebook and a million gazillion other sites that can gather any snippet of information on our club, good, bad or indifferent.

We now don’t rely on newspapers as a main source of the goings on in the life of Newcastle United, we rely on each other and that can be a great thing or a not so great thing because we have now added to our stresses with rumours of dodgy dealings within the club and players leaving and so on.

The thing is, it’s brilliant isn’t it? Because we thrive on it and it gives us all plenty of talking points when out for a drink or wherever you are in the world, but it still doesn’t do a lot for our hair!

The upside, or downside, whichever way you want to look at it is that we have all became boardroom skilled and management skilled as well as financially savvy as to what goes on inside the club from top to bottom. Well OK, maybe not quite like that but we like to think so don’t we?

I have to admit that my overall Newcastle United savvy chat experience whether out in a pub or on holiday is far more balanced and accurate and fluent due to ‘blogs like this and messageboards in general.

Naturally we all know what we all know in our own way but how many people on here, seriously, have upped their knowledge of the whole Newcastle United scene based on internet banter?

And how many people’s stress levels have gone into overdrive as a direct result of knowing too much about the club?

Is knowing too much a good thing?

About wolfie

Newcastle Uited fan. Always have been, always will be! When I was 14 I was invited for trials at Newcastle United with the blessing and full backing of my family who raised the fare and money for digs for me but I spent the money on cigarettes and pop, plus a few canny bags o Tudor and some kets and missed the train. I ended up being a total waste of space as far as football ambition went and I ended up in a factory and moved on from there to build my life up to what it is now, a self employed complete waste of space hand to mouth dribs and drabs grab it when you can tycoon. So there you go, that's about my life in a nutshell apart from piles and one in grown toe nail. Thanks for reading and I hope this somehow has a reflection on the way your life is going and maybe this could shock some up and coming kid into knuckling down and not ending up like a dip stick like me. lol

34 thoughts on “The stress of being a Newcastle United fan

  1. Weyyy, I’ve got my Facebook box thingy back 🙂

    Good article Wolfie. My hair isn’t grey though, it’s just reduding in numbers.

    I do think a lot of stress is brought on by ourselves. Like you say, everything is dissected before it happens in most cases. Look at Pieters, he is apparently the answer to our defensive lightness, based on nothing but rumour and a few clips sought out on the internet.

    I never take too much too seriously. I love discussing it all, but I try and stay level-headed until something actually happens. I find it reduces the stress levels.

    Mind you, being a fan now, with all the internet sites, twitter and so on, is much better in my opinion. I remember when I used to sit there watching teletext for the scores and had to rely on the newspapers for news 😯


  2. Toonsy, teletext! That’s a blast from the past. I remember checking that when we were getting linked with Kuyt and then ended up getting Martins 😀


  3. I remember the fancier TV’s used to have a countdown until the next page refresh 😆

    I used to watch it intently waiting for the page to refresh to see if we’d scored. I “watched” Shearer’s first ever competitive goal for us like that 😆

    As for the pic, looks like SJP before it was developed, although behind that it looks like the brewery 😕


  4. Teletext was the most frustrating thing ever ours used to get stuck and never updated, I remember i was too nervous to watch the man utd match the year after the 12 points business, I kept flicking on teletext and after peacock scored, We were 1-0 up for fucking ages and i kept saying we would be pegged back with our defending, So i finally gave in and flicked onto sports 1, 4 nowt up and Albert scored about 10 seconds after i took in the score… 😎


  5. I remember one night on here, when someone was posting links to a spanish newspaper saying colo was on his way to Valencia. Didnt sleep easy that night.

    Because of the mental nature of our club stories like that become very easy to believe.

    I would be lost without the forums mind.


  6. Well that picture was taken before I was born 😆

    I’m sure I did that with some goals as well when I was really young as well 😆


  7. CC – I remember when you used to type in a page number and you’d just sit there watching the three digits flash thinking “come on, come on” 😆

    Mind you, we had Sky at the time so any game that was on there I never needed it for. I did used to keep tabs on all the 3pm Sat kick-offs using teletext though. This was when most games were Sat 3pm Kick-offs 😆


  8. I also remember calling that “teamtalk” thing and spending a fortune on it. I mean my Dad spent a fortune on it 😆

    Anyone just seen SSN? Llambias has responded to Barton, and he’s actually done it with a touch of class 😯


  9. I’m so happy that I can worry about NUFC everyday. Prior to the internet, in some years, one had to get lucky in the USA and see the NYTImes on the day they printed the final Premier League standings to see how Newcastle did for the year. One usually did not even know who was on the squad. We would watch German games on public broadcasting because they often would give scores from other countries. I follow Newcastle because I visited the Toon in 1976 and tried to get into SJP in the 2nd half of a game with Leed’s, but was denied by the cops. Reading English newspapers kept that interest alive because of all the strange goings on with the club. Now that I can really keep in touch with the entire team, it seems the players, scouting and coaching staff have settled, and only MA & DL and ex-players generate the craziness of the past. But, all in all, I like the winning much more than the disarray.


  10. God you make me feel old. I remember worry free times cycling 20 miles to the match and 20 miles home again.The only information that was needed was in the match progam.The bonus was we were winning cups then 😆


  11. The teamtalk thing was shite, They couldnt even pronounce the names of the players properly 😆

    Aye quite a dignified response from del boy for a change, Nice touch the bit about suing the gobshite at the end…


  12. Dan – Trying to find it online but it’s not out at the mo.

    Basically he said about how he is saddened that in this week Joey Barton has chosen to make himself the centre of attention again. Don’t agree with the comments against Sports Direct employees who get a bonus for working hard. In the hands of legal team. No further comment. Quite good really. Actually real classy. I bet it was written for him 😆


  13. Toonsy’s just cast my mind back to teletext lol.

    I remember sitting glued to the teletext when a match was on and half shutting my eyes then opening them quick hoping the score changed.

    I can also remember someone shouting from upstairs as I was in my teletext trance, that Newcastle had went a goal down…..Bastard lol..and there’s the teletext still reading nil nil..

    Yep, a little transistor radio was the key to the shout down the stairs whilst I was in my own little slant eyed world of trying to make the score change in our favour..hahaha

    Happy days? Not sure…maybe, but I had plenty of poo aches in me guts 😆


  14. Toonsy, fair play to him then, could of easily got into a war of words… again!

    I’ve seen people already on Twitter saying ‘can’t believe he would bring up Gary Speeds death and use it as a weapon’.

    Can’t people believe hate him that much that they actually think that yet don’t criticize Barton for his comments…


  15. Jesus Chris, now I do feel old hahaha
    I remember them well.

    I also used to love the ‘it’s a goal show ‘ on the radio, does anyone remember this.
    You’d be sitting there listening to the bloke talking about stuff and then it would go “it’s a goalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll” and you’d sit there with your fingers crossed and get all worried when they said, and let’s go to St James’ park where there’s been a goal.

    That was stressful for me as a kid of about 15 😆


  16. Wolfie, well nothings changed there… that still happens on Soccer Saturday when you the person who’s doing our game shouts GOAL! 😆


  17. Yea dan your right, we have the in the flesh mental shouting update now on sky lol.

    I used to love the it’s a goal show just for the excitement and would sit there looking at the radio like an absolute daft bastard because I was obviously not gonna see anything.

    It’s weird how you look at a radio isn’t it when commentary is on as if someones gonna pop out and shout”oi wolfie, your teams scored, look.” 😆


  18. Wolfie – I never used to believe we’d been scored against until it was on Teletext. Even when it was on the radio it wasn’t official until it was on that little black screen 😆


  19. 😆

    I used to love Metro Radio’s commentary of our games with Justin Lockwood and Mick Martin, the build seemed to be on for hours!


  20. I do think it’s a good point about our ‘knowledge’, although I have to wonder if it really is knowledge or just more information plus lots of practice in bullshitting. When I’ve done my radio bit recently I’ve been surprised at how the words just come forth now, and the vast majority of it can be found in posts on here and other stuff via Newsnow!

    Still. More reliable than the papers, eh. 😈


  21. I think this generations version of things like that, well for me anyways, is where we all go on Xbox for our games, quite surreal hearing everyone in the party celebrating but without being able to see them.

    Turned out to be a bit of curse though. In the Championship season I think we got beat four times the whole season and three of them we were on live for 😆


  22. Toonsy 😆

    I once invented a little footy game with playing cards and would play when the radio was on with the match but I always cheated in Newcastles favour naturally. Can you remember them league cards you used to get many moons ago with the team names on and they slotted into little slits to make a league..

    If you or anyone can…my little invention was used with this…
    It was a simple invention using 3 packs of old playing cards..

    What I did was..I’d write the names of all the teams in div 1 which at the time that’s what the prem was and even Ipswich town were a force to be reckoned with, having Mick Mills and co in it.

    Anyway, I’d write all the teams names on the cards about 6 cards to every team but then I’d double Newcastle’s amount so that when they were all shuffled Newcastle had a better chance of getting a few cards pulled out..

    Anyway I’d shuffle up and take out a pack of 30 cards for half time and another 30 for full time and discard the rest and then turn them over one by one and that would be the scores of the teams playing that day.

    I done it every week, replicating the games played that weekend and wanted to see how my league panned out to how the real one did.

    Naturally Newcastle won my league due to my clever art of cheating like a twat 😆

    My god , when I think about it, I was a right sad bastard when I was a kid 😆


  23. Being on the other side of the world in a culture that, at the time, looked on football as being for sheilas, wogs and pooftas, the only access I had to Newcastle United was the scoreline in the paper on a Monday morning.

    But stress? I don’t know if you can call it stress. Not for a premier league team. I’m reminded of Nick Hornby writing about the frustration of watching Arsenal – when they only won the championship a couple of times. Some stress that is!

    Stress is being a Charlton fan, or a Plymouth fan, and watching the posturing of the silvertails at the top chattering excitedly about another international signing. Stress is being the little guy on the factory floor with 5 kids and not enough money to pay the rent.


  24. Checking teletext every hour after the fixture list was complete just to see what the new tables looked like….And reading those crappy adverts for reading your horoscope or telephone ‘dating’ whilst you waited for the frigging page to upload! Haha 😆


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