Taking the Papiss! Newcastle 2-0 Liverpool

The beast unleashed!
Newcastle took another step closer to Europe today beating Liverpool 2-0 at St James Park. Papiss Cisse carried on his good goal scoring start with another two goals.

The win takes us 10 points clear of Everton in 7th and 11 points clear of Liverpool in 8th. But in my opinion we should stop looking down, because we’re joint on points with Chelsea and only 2 points behind Tottenham in fourth, but they do have a game in hand which is played today, vs Swansea.

The first real chance of the game for Liverpool was when ex-Newcastle player Andy Carroll out jumped Mike Williamson and ran past James Perch before rounding the goalkeeper Tim Krul and throwing himself to the floor. If he’d stayed on his feet he’d have had a tap in, but instead he tried to con the referee and get a penalty, unsuccessfully.

Liverpool possibly could have had a real penalty when the ball seemed to strike Danny Simpson’s arm from a Liverpool corner. The ball bounced off Williamson and Simpson had his hand on the post, and the ball bounced up off his arm. He didn’t move his arm towards the ball, neither could he really move his arm which may be why he got away with it.

Just after that Newcastle made them pay when Hatem Ben Arfa picked up the ball on the right hand side, dribbled past Jay Spearing then produced an inch perfect left footed cross onto the head of Papiss Cisse who found the far corner of Pepe Reina’s net, leaving the Spanish goalkeeper stranded – as usual.

Andy Carroll was relishing the battle and later on in the half he headed the ball just over Tim Krul’s crossbar when there was a mix up between Simpson and Williamson sliding in to block a cross.

Papiss Cisse could have made it two at the end of the first half when he glanced a Danny Guthrie cross past the far post, a header which was possibly easier to score than his first chance.

The second half began very much the same, Liverpool had some early possession and moved the ball a little bit quicker, but couldn’t create anything of note.

Not long after the restart Mike Williamson connected to a Yohan Cabaye free kick and his header hit the base of the post and just evaded the onrushing James Perch. Williamson looked dangerous in the air throughout the whole game, which was impressive.

Jonjo Shelvey had a rare effort for Liverpool when he shot from long range, but it was easily dealt with by Tim Krul who didn’t have a massive amount to do due to the great efforts of the 10 men in front of him.

Not long after Newcastle went up the other end and Demba Ba slid the ball across the box towards the onrushing Ben Arfa who may have got a slight touch, but could not gather the ball completely, thankfully Cisse was on hand behind him to round Pepe Reina and pass the ball into the corner of the net with the coolest of finishes.

A mix up between Tim Krul and James Perch nearly gifted Liverpool a way back into the game when they collided and the ball fell to Luis Suarez who went by Krul only to be denied by the sliding Perch when the goal seemed gaping.

Both teams made changes and Shola Ameobi came on for the goalscorer Papiss Cisse and Dan Gosling replaced the injured Danny Guthrie. Liverpool made all three of their changes in four minutes taking off both Craig Bellamy and Andy Carroll, the latter supposedly swore at his manager when he left the pitch, just before throwing down his shirt and storming down the tunnel. Look what you’re missing Andy.

The game petered out and it just looked like it was going to end 2-0 with no more major incidents, but then Pepe Reina decided he’d completely kill the game for Liverpool. Reina reacted to James Perch when he left his foot in after a cross, he stormed towards him and pushed his head into Perch’s face. It was clear that there was contact, how much contact I’m not sure, but James Perch reacted and went to the floor holding his face. Some people are criticising him for it, but if he’d have stayed on his feet and the ref had missed it, I’d have been livid with him.

As Liverpool had used all of their subs they had to put Jose Enrique in goal for the final 10 minutes, unfortunately Newcastle were not really able to test him, but the game finished 2-0 after a lot of keep ball from the home side taunting the once famous away team.

Everyone played their part today and it was a great game so I was unable to choose a man of the match, but there were about 5 real stand out players. Danny Simpson, James Perch and Mike Williamson were outstanding; all three of them kept Liverpool quiet and put in some crunching tackles on the scumbag Luis Suarez in the process.

The goal scorer Papiss Cisse had another great game, and his movement allowed him to grab another two goals to make it 7 in his first 7 in the Premier League, and excellent start. Luis Suarez has 7 Premier League goals in 25 games this season, and Andy Carroll has 3 in 28, both of these players cost over 3 times what we paid for Cisse.

The returning Cheik Tiote was outstanding and he really broke the game up well and allowed Danny Guthrie and Yohan Cabaye to go and play football with our menacing front three. I would certainly try and get Guthrie to sign a new deal and have them 3 as our permanent central midfield combination.

Liverpool were really poor today, none of our former players came back to haunt us and the media lovechild Steven Gerrard was awful, his passing was actually embarrassing at times. Luis Suarez did nothing and was kept quiet by our defence, which is a real credit to them. The stand ins managed to keep a clean sheet, something which nobody expected.

Andy Carroll looked lost, I started to feel sorry for him in the end. I wasn’t going to abuse him, until he dived like a scumbag when he could have scored. He dived against the “team he supports”, just disgraceful really. His reaction made me smile though, it just shows to our current crop who are being sought after, the grass isn’t always greener. I wouldn’t have that Enrique back either, he’s nothing on Tim Krul.

The game has really shown how far we’ve come, and the fact we are 2 points off the Champions League places as I write this (before the Spurs game), shows what a great job Pardew and the players are doing and long may in continue.

E I E I E I O, Up the Premier League we go, when we get to Europe…..

My final words, COME ON SWANSEA!

190 thoughts on “Taking the Papiss! Newcastle 2-0 Liverpool

  1. al try not to me little fkin Skrillexer 😎

    …and stay off the dubstep anyway, it does nee one nee good. 😉

    …if ye want dub, try Lee Scratch Perry, or even Asian Dub Foundation.

    Porsnli divnt dee too much dub like, although JUNGLE IS MASSIVE 😯 😯 😯 😯 😯

    🙄 😛 😯 😯 🙄 😛 😯 😯

    😯 🙁 🙄 😛 🙄 🙄 😯 😯

    …much rather listen to God Ween Satan, by Ween. Go, pop-pickers, be cool. 😎

    I’m off now, but probably aren’t isn’t it innit bro 😉



  2. Really enjoyed that game. Perchino was MotM for me, and Williamson done good as well. As did … everybody. Though I was very concerned early doors when Bellamy outdid Jonas on a few occasions.

    Yeah, Perch went down easy, but footballers are such delicate creatures that they all seem to fall over if anybody so much as breathes too close to them. Still Reina was an idiot for his reaction – signs of Liverpool frustration.

    Looked like a hand ball on the line by Simpson, but also looked like Jose had a handfull of Ben Arfa earlier on (remember Williamson v 5under1and?).

    And plaudits for Pardew. He deserves some hugs and kisses too.


  3. Think Everton and Tottenham have shown the way to play against Swansea-pressure pressure pressure, plus with some hard working. Think Jonas is going to be a must, wherever he plays….and everyone is going to need to put themselves about. Not too concerned from the team-they all work well, hopefully Willo, Tiote and Perch can cope with the trickery and read the game….


  4. Dear Aunt Toonsy,

    I’ve recently developed a ring of unsightly blemishes about my person.

    My close friends insist it’s not them, no matter how many times I tell them to fuck off.

    Would appreciate any help, thanks.

    (well need a kiss emoticon here Toons 😉


  5. well I dont think swansea, bolton, stoke or wigan are going to be easy games like.
    But we really need to screw the bobbin and try and get as many poimts as possible before the final 3. One of which is a massive 6 pointer against chelski.
    can see a couple of draws in there (bolton/stoke) and a couple that could go either way (swansea/wigan).
    The Lads mustn’t get too carried away with recent sucesses. But there must be a good atmosphere in the dressing room atm and confidence is sky high.
    How do yous think we will do ?


  6. Reet, Toonsy and myself made a competition up the other day, basically it meant someone won stuff. To ensure you’re in with a BIG CHANCE OF WINNING tell everyone you know, that you think you’re developing scales, on a biological level (that’ll learn them 😡 )

    Next person to post a comment gets called something inappropriate by myself anyway….


  7. sellotaping custard to the inside of tractor tyre would be inappropriate also, just in case anyone was considering giving it a go.

    divnt botha, waste of custard


  8. given the fact this blog is worldwide, thus viewable by everyone in the world, coupled with the FACT that nobody entered my competition, obviously means I am the Lord.

    I think it’s approaching the right time of year for all you peasants to get all fucking emotional and start eating chocolate, and make it shaped like an egg so you can play the fucking re-birth card and get all metaphorical just because you’re a fat *unt, or something.

    …and none of the rabbits I’ve met have ever layed an egg either.

    utter bollocks.

    fucking Jesus Murdoch


  9. My goodness, people will see only what they want to. How Liverpool fan Andy can claim that there was no contact from Reina on Perch AFTER seeing Batty’s post @4? Unbelievable. Was there enough force to knock Perch to the ground? No. Was there contact? 100% yes, LOOK AT THE PICTURE THAT SHOWS THEIR HEADS ARE TOUCHING!!!!

    More importantly, great showing by the lads today. Cisse and Ba’s finishing this season have taken a solid midtable team into the top 6.

    One worry- Gutierrez at LB nearly cost us the match, he was burned by Bellamy time and time again. Would I have Enrique back? Um, yes, I would.


  10. No games are going to be easy, but we’re playing extremely well right now and can actually get better! 😯

    Great time of the season to be shifting into that top gear


  11. Anybody catch motd tonight? I’m really curious to hear some of the crap that likely got spatted


  12. AndrewT-Well, Carroll and Liverpool played very well, “apart from the final ball” was the consensus. Liverpool should have had a penalty, and Simmo off-says lawro- who also whined about Perch but did admit Reina deserved the red(undefendable really)

    Basically said Liverpool defended poorly for both goals ( not entirely fair, we cut them apart really) and the second was offside, which I might agree with but hey these things happen. At the end though they all agreed we deserved the win, not too surprised that they favoured liverpool but what can ya say?


  13. …as far as the Reina incident goes, my take on it was Perch knew exactly what he was doing. He’s a crafty cnt. Proper cheeky trip up. If he played for any other team I’d dislike him severely. Reina must’e eaten too much garlic in his pre match omelette to put perch down like that.

    In all fairness, we got the run of the ref today, the Carroll cheating cunt yellow dive affair (sounds like a mod band), The Simpson bicep goal line clearance (sounds like a 90s indie band) and something else. and stuff, innit, was something like that, and stuff.


  14. Figures, newkie. I was actually shocked when Carroll was taken off as he seemed to be their only goal threat!


  15. oh how I chortled upon hearing the team news 😆

    (I taped this from inside Kenny Daglish’s brain) ….”I know, let’s play 433, I saw NUFC do that a bit ago and it worked, and I’ve got 3 of their ex players, so that means it evens itself out, yes 😐 )

    …I know, actually I reckon we should double bluff them by playing our most potent strike force in an attacking forward 3. They’re all good enough to score, who needs wingers, Newcastle don’t.

    K. Dalglish, Milk moniter, aged 8.


  16. ..put simply, who the fk was ever gona supply Carroll in a side devoid of wingers. That’s easy for me to type.


    😮 😆 😎 😯 😆



  17. BBC News just reported that “Reina apparently headbutted defender Jamie Perch” Not sure how, but it makes Perchy seem even more of a comical figure 😆

    Yeah somehow Carroll was probably their best player, considering he fed off complete scraps. Just goes to show how the team around you can make a player-like when Carroll was with us. Also shows that the whole liverpool squad needs to be replaced 😆



    Have you been sold Rodzilla Protection Insurance?

    Are you out of your tiny minds?

    Are you that bloke that used to host the Sunday evening Holiday programme on BBC1, probably Cliff fucking Mitchelmore or something, and stuff, or something, and stuff innit?


    0800 $75 &241



  19. Rodz mate you need to hit the mackem forums…or maybe the scousers and leave them some love for the morning :mrgreen:


  20. …Newkie, they’ll have to work out how to use my Deciduous Pancake Contracter (TM) first 😉


  21. Did you know? Newcastle have won 60% of Premier League games with Williamson playing this season, compared to 38% without him.

    Very interesting stats for the Willo haters…


  22. I knew all that Newks, got a hint of it at post 171.

    salreet though.

    …howman, gorenny pringles or owt?

    …am famished 😮


  23. Only just saw what you did there, hah

    Nah mate, bacon and egg sarnies are the rage today/this morning/whatever


  24. I reckon, if our first 11 were breakfast items, they’d probably follow apattern as such:

    Krul: Smoked salmon

    Simpson: Black pudding
    Colo: toffee apple
    Steven Taylor: doner kebab
    Santon: Morrisons Chicken Fettuccini

    Gutierez – southern fried chicken wings, with chili sauce
    Guthrie – anything poured over his head, unexpectedly
    Tiote – 1 loaf of bread, 1 jar of marmite, a cat
    Cabaye – just chips

    Ben Arfa – Muesli, no raisens
    Cisse – pigeon milk, semi skimmed


  25. ..aye Cabaye’s a man after mi own heart like.


    lol myself out loud, on the floor, or LOLOFOL or something, loudly.

    Goodbye for a few days anyway you bunch of bastards and twats.

    Until next time….. 😉


  26. Lee Ryder
    Enrique left the field without shaking the hand of any of former #nufc team-mates #lfc

    Classy 🙄


  27. Jokes from Kenny 😆 – “Even if he had got past the goalie, I think he would still have fallen over. We don’t have a problem with that. We might have a problem with the yellow card because I don’t think it was intentional, him looking for a penalty kick”

    Is he for real!! 😯


  28. Danger Dom – You do realise that that kop blog you posted was a liverpool fan taking the piss out of the others who are using the net spend logic and not someone defending it? You did get that didn’t you? Clearly not!!


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