Papiss Demba Cisse! Chelsea 0-2 Newcastle United

Cisse. Again.
Newcastle United bounced back from a humiliating 4-0 defeat against Wigan by winning 2-0 against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge, something they haven’t achieved since 1986.

The game started slowly but the visitors didn’t look overrun after moving back to their 4-4-2 formation which they’ve not played a full 90 minutes with for about 6 games now. Newcastle started to take control and they then took the lead after Davide Santon played the ball in to Papiss Cisse who teed himself up then struck a sumptuous volley into Petr Cech’s top corner.

Chelsea then came back with a couple of chances of their own, first Florent Malouda ghosted in and headed a Fernando Torres cross wide of the goal. Branislav Ivanovic also put a headed chance just wide from a corner, but Newcastle went through the half pretty much without worry.

It was Newcastle who come closest to stretching their lead at the end of the first half when a clever corner along the ground found Demba Ba, whos effort struck the bar, no pun intended, that was what really happened.

Half time came and went and Di Matteo changed his side and replaced the anonomyous Daniel Sturridge with Juan Mata, who didn’t offer Chelsea much more I’m being brutally honest.

The game went without incident mainly until Jon Obi Mikel elbowed Cheik Tiote in the face, I’ve watched it again, and I think it could have been deliberate, it seemed in reaction to a tackle Tiote did earlier. Mikel escaped a card and Cheik Tiote left the pitch tied to a stretcher, at this point I was very worried. Tiote has spoken to Pardew and despite a 9 inch gash and stitches, he’s happy to play at the weekend. Commitment.

A 7 minute delay meant there was time for Chelsea to bring on their big guns, Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard were both introduced during the break or slightly after, and it looked like it’d be a long last half an hour for Newcastle.

With 3 minutes of normal time to go John Terry rose highest from the corner and his brilliant header was cleared off the line by Davide Santon who was perfectly positioned on the post, that’s when I really started to think it’d be our day and we had this one sown up.

And then, it happened, the greatest goal I have seen this season, and probably up there with the best I’ve seen in my whole life. Papiss Cisse. What a man. A long throw by Ryan Taylor which was knocked down by Shola Ameobi landed at the feet of Papiss Cisse who was about 25 yards out.

Cisse hit a right footed footed effort which swerved and bamboozled Cech before landing into the top corner of his net, an absolute stunner by Cisse. If you haven’t seen it, get on YouTube, the ball moves more than a goals width and drops perfectly into that top corner.

Pardew went mental. Cisse went mental. The team went mental. The fans went mental. A beautiful sight to behold.

I can hardly sum up how proud I am of the lads. Tim Krul, did everything well, didn’t have to do much, but didn’t let us down. James Perch in for Danny Simpson, excellent. Coloccini and Williamson in defence? They defended heroically. Davide Santon, quality going forward and made a goal line clearance which won us the game.

Cheik Tiote before he got injured ran the show, he was almost too good (disclaimer, he’s rubbish really, nothing to see here Chelsea). Yohan Cabaye was great again, passing the ball around well and linking up attacks. Jonas Gutierrez worked solidly as usual, back in his winger role. Hatem Ben Arfa, well, the young lad Ryan Bertrand won’t want to play against him next year, on the ball, he gave him a torrid time.

Demba Ba was the perfect foil for Cisse, he won header for him throughout the game and nearly even scored himself. Papiss Cisse, I’ll let you lot judge him, I really do not have anything else to say, other than, unreal.

Another cracking performance and a great bounce back from the disappointing Wigan game, people say that the last 10 games are important, well; we’ve won 7 and lost 1. We’re doing pretty well aren’t we? But, the big question is, have we played anyone?

Roll on City.

29 thoughts on “Papiss Demba Cisse! Chelsea 0-2 Newcastle United

  1. The 2nd was on a par with Shearer’s against Everton. Totally speachless. i’ve never seen anyone hit the ball so well with both feet. He really does score when he wants 😀


  2. Good write up Jobey.
    I think perhaps Pardew has decided though on our day, playing 4-3-3 could be too much for anyone, that sometimes it is best to just try and lose arguably our strongest formation to try and counter the opposition should they be on form. Basically sometimes it isn’t the best way to “play your own game”, but to adopt tactics to purely counter the oppositions, like Chel$ki did against Barca.

    Cisse’s goal was unbelievable, i don’t think i’ve ever even imagined a goal like that before let alone seen someone score it.

    Coloccini: by far and away the best central defender we’ve had in the premiership era.


  3. Did anyone else see the interview with Ba and Cisse after the game though.
    The interviewer asked what was going through his head when he hit a possible goal of the season and Cisses translated reply was something like:
    “Shola laid the ball back to me, I saw that there wasn’t much else on and couldn’t be bothered to run anymore so I just hit it” (shrug of the shoulders)
    The interviewer then asked if he meant it?
    Ba replied on Cisses behalf:
    “of course he meant it, it would have been in the crowd if he didn’t!!”

    Then in Pardews interview, he said after Cisses 2nd, Drogba came over to our bench and said “how the hell did he do that?”

    I absolutely love this kid like. His 1st goal was a brilliant finish but the 2nd gets better the more you watch it.


  4. I am going to write us off in future! We were fantastic last night … was with some lads who were chelski fans and loved every minute they thought they would stuff us!

    Lets be honest who saw that coming?? Fantastic surely we have to start commending everyone at the club just fantastic 😆


  5. sorry to be vulger but i think at 9.36pm last night a little bit of semen came out of my cock. 😯


  6. Aye nobby and you weren’t even watching the match 😛

    Thought Tiote was lucky not to get a 2nd yellow for the Mikel Tackel, and I honestly thoght Mikel had broken his jaw. Definately thought it was deliberate.

    What can you say abot Cisse. Two cracking goals.


  7. LST – that was my thought actually, I didn’t fancy us against Stoke and we were brilliant. Thought we would destroy Wigan and got turned over and didnt expect much last night and we were class.
    So I don’t think well win another game this season and fancy us to get relegated next season 😈 😉


  8. When are people going to give Williamson some credit? If Taylor had been playing the past 8 games or so like williamson, people would have been saying he should be playing for England this summer. Williamson was fantastic last night


  9. Nobby haha dirty basterd 😀

    What a performance last night, cisse and special shout to santon and perchino BUZZZZZZING !!!!


  10. Jobey……what the hell are you doing up? And SOBER? Any self respecting Newcastle fan is still drunk rite now 🙂

    It’s a good feeling this morning. I woke up half expecting the headlines to read “Papiss Cisse helps achive world peace”. He seems to be able to do everything else.


  11. It has to be said it was a great goal! In fact both goals were good.

    Fully deserved win too and it sets the game on Sunday up nicely, especially with a bank holiday the day after… 🙂


  12. ILM spot on he played our his skin. Won everything in the air and looked real confident.
    I think the turning point for him was when colo was missing through injury and he had to hold the fort. He’s been playing with much more confidence since.


  13. The chances of a Champions League place is highly unlikely. We needed to beat Wigan. Now we need Arsenal or Spurs to lose one of their last two easy fixtures and we need to beat both Man City and Everton.
    While still hoping Chelsea don’t win the Champions League…

    We need to pick up at least a point to secure fifth which would be am incredible achievement.

    We have been televised so many times this year and finishing fifth as well as the attraction of Europe. We should be sitting pretty financially sound.

    This season has set us up great for next season to fight for another top six place and perhaps a cup trophy.


  14. Toonsy is that you ❓

    Fantastic what a win away from home clean sheet and surely 5th is the least we can expect now..

    What a season!! 😀


  15. I wouldn’t say Arsenal’s last game was easy. Away to West Brom in the last game before Roy Hodgson goes to manage England, He’ll want to give them a good send off.


  16. Don’t think I’e ever enjoyed a match more. Fabulous team performance and two really special goals. He’s got to be the best striker in the world at the moment.
    Special mention too for the fish jokey character that turned into Perchinho!


  17. Cisse’s goal would be class for one of those ‘spot the ball’ comps. Well that’s if every man and his dog hadn’t seen it.

    Love it that Drogba said to Pards “How the hell did he do that?” If Drogba is left baffled by a goal then you know it HAS to be special 😎

    Better than Crouch’s allllllll day.


  18. Tiote is such a LAD for just pretending to be injured knowing full well Cisse needed at least 7 minutes added on to be that knackered to score the best goal ever.


  19. Toonsy – of course! Liking the new avatar!

    Hows the bairn? What a year this is for you! 😀

    Incredible only newcastle could be hammered 4-0 by wigan and then convincingly beat chelsea at stamford bridge we havent won their in 25 years … that is why you love the toon 😀


  20. Absolutely unbelievable match, there were so many people who could have earned the plaudits. Tiote was an absolute beast, he’s perfected the scott parker turn and changed into the tiote turn, and now he can flick a ball with the outside of his boot and find a player thirty yards away who’s on a run to latch on to it. Brilliant show, more than makes up for the lack of effort against Wigan.

    But when we’re talking about outside of the boot…..Cisse. Just Cisse.

    I’m actually kinda sad. I don’t think I’ll ever see a better one shot goal in my life. Ever 😯
    Well, unless Cisse sticks with us for a few more years :mrgreen:


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