It’s been a while since you’ve heard from me, I’ve been very busy and struggled to fit everything that I do on top of my first year of University at Sunderland.
I have managed to to attend five games this season and to say I’ve had a mixture of emotions is an understatement.
Witnessing the 6-0 mauling by Brendan Rodgers’ Liverpool was the final nail in the coffin for me. Having attended my first ever Tyne-Wear derby a few weeks ago I thought that performance was the worst ever but the one against eclipsed that. I have never known there to be a smooth ride when supporting the club and perhaps the last time we sailed in calm waters was when Sir Bobby Robson was manager.
The warning signs have been there, back in November our form was worse than relegation season. How is that possible I asked myself. The Europa League papered over the cracks in our league form and allowed us to go on a very enjoyable adventure in Europe. I wouldn’t change that for the world but the reality is that Alan Pardew used that competition to keep fans of his back.
Back in November when I returned home for a weekend break my dad asked where did I think the club would finish? My reply? That we would be relegated. He was amazed that I had come to that conclusion very early on in the season. The performances had been poor and the Thursday before I travelled back we faced Maritimo; we looked toothless in attack and looked highly unlikely to score.
I stopped listening to Alan Pardew’s press conferences back then and I’m glad I did. He has made excuse after excuse about why we haven’t performed this season and I was fed up of hearing those excuses. The Coloccini saga has not helped us at all and I think that has caused us further trouble in a season which wasn’t supposed to happen after the success of the previous campaign.
Against Liverpool the players seemingly lacked any motivation to play for the manager. The silver fox as he is known was absolutely quiet on the touchline, only seeming to making notes in his little book about how his team performed. There was no shouting of instructions and it took until the 83rd minute for us to muster a shot on goal. Based on that performance I think we will be very lucky to stay up.
I have lost my love for the my beloved team and I have no idea if that love will ever return. I know you are meant to support the club through thick and thin but I’ve fallen so out of love with what’s happened that I don’t know where this leaves me.
Does anyone else feel like this?