West Ham v Newcastle – Premier League match preview

Happy Hammers v Miserable Magpies
Happy Hammers v Miserable Magpies
Newcastle travel to Upton Park tomorrow afternoon where they will be looking to answer a whole host of questions against West Ham.

The 6-0 capitulation against Liverpool has caused a storm on Tyneside as rumours of rifts and cliques have been made public resulting in United falling out with members of the press and even going as far as banning one publication and it’s reporters whilst embarking on a PR offensive to deny any of the aforementioned rumours. I was half expecting to see images of Cabaye and Pardew picking flowers together but alas they never materialised!

The commitment that was lacking against Liverpool and in recent weeks will be under the microscope once more as both manager and players look to bounce back from such a humiliation. It’s crisis time at United and we need points desperately if we are to make sure we don’t end up relegated for a second time within the space of four years.

No doubt looking to get one over us, West Ham have an array of former United players and staff who all have their own reasons for wanting to pile the misery on us. Andy Carroll and Kevin Nolan are of course former players of Newcastle United and both played a huge part in ensuring we returned to the Premier League. Then there is Sam Allardyce who, not content with getting a huge payout for being sacked, also likes to get one over on us each time we play. The Hammer will not lack motivation, that is for sure.

West Ham:

Allardyce has no fresh injury concerns ahead of the visit of Newcastle. James Tomkins (calf) and George McCartney (knee) are again likely to miss out but apart from that Allardyce has a full squad to choose from.

Newcastle:

Mathieu Debuchy will miss the game due to suspension following his sending off against Liverpool last weekend. Massadio Haidara and Sylvain Marveaux are doubtful as they nurse respective hamstring and groin injuries whilst Tim Krul, Davide Santon, Ryan Taylor and Haris Vuckic all remain out.

There is better news regarding Fabricio Coloccini though who is likely to return to the side after missing the last 12 games with a back injury.

Previously…

West Ham are looking to do the double over us this season after Kevin Nolan ensured his current club took all three points away from his former home earlier on in the season.

Prior to West Ham’s relegation, we managed to do the double over them with a 5-0 win at St James’ Park following a 2-1 victory at Upton Park. The goalscorers for us that day – Kevin Nolan and Andy Carroll!

Upton Park has been a happy hunting ground for us in recent years. We’ve won three of our last five trips to West Ham and drawn another one of those five with our only loss in the last ten years coming courtesy of a 3-1 defeat back in 2008.

The Hammers have had the upper hand over us at their ground over the years however. There have been 58 meeting between the sides with West Ham winning 29, United winning 15 and the other 14 ending in a draw.

Overall, home and away and in all competitions, United to hold a slight advantage having won 49 meetings between the two sides compared to West Ham’s 38 victories with 35 draws having been contested between the two sides in their 122 clashes to date.

Match stats and facts:

West Ham have only lost once at home in 2013 (Tottenham) and have only lost four home league games (Arsenal, Liverpool and Everton) all season.

Newcastle have the second-worst away record in the Premier League having won just one league game on the road all season.

West Ham goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen has made a league-high 155 saves this season.

Newcastle have the worst defence in the league having conceded 66 goals this term, one goal more than relegated Reading, two more than relegation rivals Aston Villa, and four more than 18th placed Wigan.

Final thought:

Once again I find myself dreading the weekend and wondering just how bad it will be rather than how good we can make it. I honestly would love to see a reaction after last weekend but I just can’t see it. I’ve almost resigned to the fact that we’ll get relegated and will only get saved if Wigan fail to bridge that five point gap and I honestly can’t see us picking up another point this season given how we’ve been “performing” for quite some time now.

Suffice to say, I’d be delighted with a point!

Howay the lads!

Date: Saturday, 4th May, 2013

Time: 3pm

Venue: Upton Park

About toonsy

A lifelong Newcastle fan and current webmaster of this very 'blog who has the sole aim of creating a place by Newcastle United fans, for Newcastle United fans.

288 thoughts on “West Ham v Newcastle – Premier League match preview

  1. Batty mate you’re also talking about the team that made it to the quarter finals of Europa. We’re actually a powerhouse in hiding!

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  2. Big Dave you’re always ahead of the curve mate. But WOMBAT really works for me with Llambias as well. 😆

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  3. G2 ,I lol when I read it ,thought of Derek straight away but must confess it did cross my mind that Aussie might get huffy at using his nickname like. 😉

    Dave ,it’s gonna cause some confusion as I know how attached Aussie is to his nickname like. Do you think he knows what it means 😆

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  4. GEORDIETWO@147 all my i dont know what that is but yes under my jaw is hurting not under my arm pits but my shoulders and arms are as well .

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  5. Axel ,They must of checked for mumps ,but if your jewels swell up and you start to look a bit hamsterish around the jaw ,it might just be mumps ,unless ofcourse you had it as a kid then it can’t be 😕 one of my ex fellas had adult mumps ,very painfull . How long you had symptoms?

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  6. You’ve got a good sized inflammation and immune response underway Axel mate. Your body is fighting with whatever is infecting you. The infection will be either bacterial or viral. Your doctor should be able to tell what kind of infection with a few tests. You should develop a fever as well so check you temperature and get straight back to the doctor mate. Let us know what happens.

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  7. Dave ,He’ll be on here gunning for us in a few hours now 😆 Nevermind it’ll take his mind off the impending slaughter we’ll most likely suffer after 3pm 🙄

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  8. GEORDIETWO Have had cameras shoved up just about every orrifice in my body ,they just dont know and had numerous Blood and Urine tests .

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  9. Axel ,oh not Mumps then , sounds like your body is defo fighting something though ,hope it resolves for you soon mate ,must be very frustrating not getting to the root cause like ,best of luck anyway in sorting it out.

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  10. Thanks KIMTOON this is the reason i am not on here as often as i used 2 be , just get laid low and cant be arsed too do anything .

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  11. Axel are you seeing specialists? That sounds complicated, too much for a GP (general practitioner). But it sounds like you are seeing them with those types of tests. Getting to the right cause can be complicated sometimes and you should always try to get a second opinion from another doctor. Be aggressive with your doctors in a polite way. Always insist on an explanation because you can always get help understanding what they have told you. Never let them just blow you off. I’ve experienced that but I don’t put up with it anymore.

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  12. Axel ,totally understand mate,nowt worse than an illness that comes and goes as it interupts your lifestyle ,Can’t believe they ain’t sorted you out after a year though.

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  13. Come on as often as you can Axel. Don’t forget there are people out here who will always try to help.

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  14. Axel ,I have often come on here and had a little moan when things are bad with Lewis ,it helps to get it off your chest ,so no worries mate. Hopefully a win tommorow will lift your spirits .

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  15. We’ve all come on and had more than one little moan. It does help to talk to people. Having this blog has helped me more often than I can remember.

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  16. GEORDIETWO yeah the last specialist give up and told me to go back too my doctor , my gp is good and she went ballistic when i told her . She has took it on her self too get new tests for me and a new specialist in another hospital

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  17. KIMTOON & GEORDIETWO its times like this as an expat Geordie that i realise how much i miss yem and all the folk aroud me . but thanks yous 2 .

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  18. Axel ,Hang on to that GP mate ,that’s a good one. In our practice we have loads and I will see most of em but there are only 3 or 4 I trust to treat Lewis cause they have watched him grow up and understand all his illnesses the rest are useless.

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  19. my dear old friend @ 146

    AP is a dead duck quacking – so when we get beat & wigan win this weekend he could very well be gone.

    now here’s the plan..

    in the morning unplug your telly/video & toaster & take them to your local cash convertors – once you’ve done the deal head for stan james.

    slap your money on the counter & tell them you like the look of the 8/1 on offer for the – dead duck – being the next manager sacked before the end of the season.

    sit back – wait for the confirmation then collect your winnings then forward your financial advisor a 20% cut.

    x

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  20. Axel got waylaid by a friend for an hour or so. Take care mate and I hope we have many more chances to talk on here.

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  21. Axel @132 Have you been at the Veet? This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
    After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit of a treat.
    I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types…oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
    At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
    Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it’s way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it’s engines behind me.
    This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
    Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering…” Ooooh that feels good “. Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect…:)

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  22. Axel mate ,joking aside, it sounds to me like Glandular Fever also known as Mononeucleosis (in USA). A simple blood test should show it, make sure you are tested for it. Feel better soon 🙂

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  23. Our horrific away record does not fill me with much faith but surely our players will be treating this like a cup final should have more desire to get a result.

    We’ll certainly know if the dressing room is lost if we go a goal down and they all start blaming one another.

    I’m still confident we can get at least a draw and I would take that.

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  24. Would love a draw but it’ll very tough, win lose or draw today we won’t go down…honest!!! KTF Howay the Lads 😉

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  25. After the week the players have just had I think they should be up for this game. If not, then I don’t know what could motivate them.

    If I were a betting man I’d bet Williamson will get a game today.

    And Shola.

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  26. strange how we are wanting westbrom and norwich win today ,feels like the season we got relegated to me

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  27. I’m inclined to agree with Oblong’s starting line up @54.
    Too long we have played this nonsense 1 striker upfront and Cisse cannot hold the ball for a few seconds to allow support enough time to arrive.

    We cannot continue to pray that the linesman is having a bad day and does not see a Cisse offside goal.

    @Kimtoon: Same here all the fun has gone out the season and that butterfly in my stomach feeling is there. Never have my goals been so low for this club. My hopes and aspirations for Newcastle are that Wigan don’t get another win.

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  28. if norwich beat villa today we mite stay up by the skin of our teeth ,cos then they have chelsea and wigan left

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  29. and now the presure is off qpr i can see them beating us 🙁 going down to last game this is

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  30. I’m going for a loss today.. apparently I never get these call right so… 😛 :mrgreen:

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  31. Batty, I mean we won’t go down fullstop…whether that’s blindfaith or stupidity who knows, but I’m not concerned at all…whey, maybe a little…either way Pards oot! 😉

    …and good to see ya back Troy, like a mozzie in the ear 😉

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  32. Your multiple ****s will have just as much effect on the result as praying Batty 😆 😆 We just need to take care of our own business and we should be right mate. 😉

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  33. I’d believe you on that Rich, you are well versed in stupidity :mrgreen: 😆 😆

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  34. we dont care if ur ace on fire or emoroid in ****ing intimity ..ho ****… :???:what a **** ❓ ❓ get out of here …never back…
    what a ****..nufc webb site blog here..not medical hospice for gastro-ace emoroide …..god.. ❗

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  35. Jill@178 😆 😆 I know you shouldn’t laugh but that had me in tears mate ,so funny ,evil stuff that veet.

    Batty ,I’m with you mate ,very ,very worried and have been for weeks. Start of the season I always look at the last 7-8 games and the last one to see who we face incase we are in trouble and I didn’t like thelook of it one bit . All the same never thought after last year we’d be quite this dire ,even with the inevitible injuries and thin squad 🙁

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  36. DJEB9 i think my piles are playing up the amount of times ive been for a ****e this morning ,ive just had to push them back up oh i better go wash me hands 😆

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  37. Batty ,I hear frozen sprouts are good for that 😆

    Aussie ,Have you seen we have borrowed you’re nickname to use for Lambias@145 ,148 and 149 😕 😀

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  38. axel i tell u mate u dont need cream veet…u need much loghting and smile..keep faith and all we wish a big news quikly mate ..keep faith..lad 😉

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  39. a mackems… 😕 noooooooooooo!!!!!! never talk about them up to next season beat them ****kng ace 5-0 manitas… ❗
    phew 😮

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  40. reminds me of the time one of the lads from wor footy team got grabbed before the match and the other flockers slapped deep heat on his toon halls….not a pretty sight I’m afraid, and the lad was in absolute agony. Ho hum, the things you do for fun… 🙄

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  41. ST – I was amazed to read that this morning mate. Not the words you expect to hear from the opposing captain of the team were about to face today. That said, fantastic to hear and only wish it was words coming from our club captain or vice captain though.
    It’s been said before but Nolan is kind of captain/player we are missing at the moment.

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  42. @Sharpy
    With our current XI on form he wouldn’t get in the team but there’s no doubt during the Championship and first season back he was an awesome captain. He just has a knack of getting the fans going. I’m not sure Cabaye would take Carroll at his digs if the courts asked either!
    Still think he went missing during our relegation though 😕

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