I’ve read this blog a bit recently but can’t be bothered to post since it has once again degenerated to slagging off everybody to do with Newcastle.
Mike Ashley because he is tight and wants to screw the fans.
Alan Pardew because he’s useless and talks rubbish.
The team because they aren’t good enough and aren’t interested.
But hell I’m used to this rubbish because bitching is what fans do best. I should know I’m a fan myself. But personally I don’t blame the individuals that make up NUFC. I blame two things.
Partly it is the culture of NUFC. We don’t expect anything and have never really achieved very much and that is the norm. Brendan Rodgers going into Liverpool had an easier job in comparison since Liverpool have won and expect to win and Rodgers had to recreate what was there. We have never had it. We nearly had it with Kevin Keegan and would have had it had Sir Bobby Robson come a few years earlier and and stayed a few years more. So it is going to take a manager of world class proportions to transform this club, and they are thin on the ground and why would they come here anyway?
But mainly I blame the English Premier League. The money. FFP. Champions League etc. The league is structured so that four clubs can make serious money by qualifying for the Champions League. Oh and there are some prizes that mean nowt financially but look good. Europa League, domestic cups. Clubs that can stay in the league but challenge for nowt get financially well rewarded, and god help any club that’s relegated. They don’t count anymore.
Soccornomics show that by and large results are dependant upon the spending on squad wages. Not transfer fees, but wages. And any club would be well advised to spend no more that say two thirds of their income on wages. So for clubs with a turnover of £100m that means no more than £60m on wages. Which is what we have done.
Now I would expect these to have grown 2013-14 and rocket next year because of the extra TV money. But even so for us to seriously challenge for a top four spot we would need to at least double our wage bill, if not treble it. And even then we would only be competing on a level playing field and not guaranteed anything.
We would also be running at a significant loss, breaching FFP regulations and lets face nobody is so stupid as to take on that challenge. Least of all an intelligent businessman such as Mike Ashley. And replacing him won’t bring another punter willing to blow all his dosh on a dream. So no I don’t blame Ashley for being tight. Sensible maybe. And certainly he has made mistakes, but where we are is not entirely because of him. I am hoping that he spends some money in this window, but not holding my breath.
Where we are is because of who we are and what we spend and that is the culmination of a long history. We may be in the top twenty clubs in Europe in terms of revenue, but we are only the seventh biggest in England, and that is where we play.
So is it Pardew’s fault? Well on spending I would expect to see us achieve between 11th and 7th as par for the course, so a top five achievement and Manager of the Year shows he is no fool. The following year a relegation battle whilst doing reasonably well in Europe and with no investment until January was a let down, but not unexpected. But this season 46 points from 30 games was a decent return until we sold our most effective player and failed to replace him. So a top five finish and a top ten finish, well with two notable exceptions, you have to go back decades to find a manager who has achieved as much at NUFC. So do I blame Pardew for being useless? Of course not. However, he may have lost the dressing room and the fans, so it may be time for a change. Hopefully his successor will have us playing attractive football whilst we continue to mope around the top ten. A world class manager is too much to ask for. Let’s hope we don’t have to wait decades again for a manager who achieves more.
So is it the players. Well you get what you pay for I suppose. They are not world beaters. Not many would go on to better things, but let’s be fair they have not turned up for the last few games. But if they do move on they will be well paid and without the incentive of an international place to play for they seem to be as apathetic as the fans. However, that is also due to the money being paid in the Premier League. The best league in the World. Well the Bundesliga and La Liga may dispute that, but it is certainly the richest. Average players get phenomenal wages and so who can blame them for not being motivated when they are clearly not the best and unlikely to win anything. Funny thing is in some games they have played superbly and we have looked good, but all too often that has been far from the case.
So what can I look forward to? Well the extra TV money means that we can attract a few better players. But it is not going to close the gap on the big five, so we are not chasing Champions League football anytime soon. Europa League and cup runs would be nice, but they are just a sop in reality. Ask Wigan or Portsmouth. Since Coventry won the FA Cup in ’87 and Wimbledon in ’88 the winners have been Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea six times each, Liverpool four times, and once each for Manchester City, Tottenham Hotspur, Everton, Portsmouth and Wigan. Not quite a closed shop but not far off it.
Looking at it coldly and logically and therefore not at all as a fan, more of the same is the order of the day. Replacing Pardew with some other competent Premier League manager – Curbishley, Moyes etc – is not going to achieve anything. Good foreign managers like Bielsa are unlikely to come here but if they did it would be for the short term and the money.
We could hope for somebody better or take a punt on an unknown as is becoming a growing trend these days but the reality is that unless we get someone who can change, and is allowed to change, the whole culture at the club then we are where we are.
That’s why I’m apathetic.
Prem , I thought he would be , a busted kneecap is nasty, there is a fair chance he’ll never be the same, not that some rated him anyway 🙁 , get well soon Papiss.
kIMTOON(Quote)
http://www.nufcblog.com/2014/05/09/newcastle-looking-to-sign-luuk-de-jong/
kIMTOON(Quote)
Ouch. Poor Papiss – that sucks hairies.
Dammit – he’s had an absolute stinker of a year!
Whumpie(Quote)
Kim’s nailed it at 143. That’s my best guess.
I also think that this plan has come about since the fans turned on him. He was a new billionnaire when he bought the club, and I do think it was partly as a PR machine, but also for fun – hence all the drinks in Toon bars.
But since he’s made all those ***** decisions of mind-bending fuckwittery and fallen out with us, he does seem quite happy to screw over the entire lot of us to make himself even richer.
He who dies with the most toys… still dies, you utter ****.
Whumpie(Quote)
Whumpie the person who give the most service to the most people earns the most money, and still dies.
Premandup(Quote)
Prem, I only wish that were true. Right now there are more people with mega-yachts who’ve never done a real day’s work than honest, hard-working millionnaires. If it worked like that, care workers, cleaners and people who run tyre outlets would be in yachts and the children of oligarchs and oil sheiks would be asking us for the price of a cuppa.
****, ennit?
Anyway – nuff of that. Tis Friday!
Whumpie(Quote)
I meant service in a financial sense, and it’s still true if you want to GET rich, but true there are plenty of exceptions people who start rich.
Premandup(Quote)
As you say enuff. I’m off out for an hour or two
Premandup(Quote)
Whumpie, I agree,he does seem to be getting some perverse pleasure from aggravating us . It’s a real shame he has become blinded to the bigger picture . With a decent bit of investment he could possibly of made us challengers 🙄 , he would of been a hero for awakening the sleeping giant instead of the utter **** he is now seen as by the majority of fans. I can’t believe he thinks every fan wanted him dead after KK ,it was a small minority who sent death threats but he has chose to stick it to us all even though he was in the wrong as the courts found that to be the case. He could still of turned things round but has been on an monumental hissy fit ever since. Well I think the tide is turning and the fans are very restless now and worse still he has made a massive **** up in alienating the local rags ,this is one war I feel in the long term he cannot win. I believe he will get bored with tormenting us especially if his brand starts to suffer from all the banners and protest at SJP, which will go into overdrive if the season starts ****. If there are no good signings through the door and Pards remains playing negative football the ***** will really hit the fan, the whole club feels toxic as it is so it’s in his hands to do the right thing for once.
kIMTOON(Quote)
I hope you’re right, Kim. The only thing that’ll shift him is if the club starts to lose money, but to do that fans have to stop handing the stuff over every week – and the full house at the weekend showed that’s not going to happen.
Pathetic really. It would only take everyone missing a couple of games and he’d be gone.
I don’t even go to the pub to watch any more – a large part of that beer money goes to Sky and from them to the club. I stick to online streams; anything else is just prolonging this abysmal situation.
If only Ashley would just realise that yet more billions won’t make him happy – but being loved by a whole city just might. It would have taken comparatively little – just £20m in either of the past 2 windows plus resisting the temptation to sell Cabaye could easily have got us up there ‘doing an Everton’ this season. He wouldn’t even have to get near the FFP threshold.
Buggrit. 🙁
Whumpie(Quote)
Hughton, Pardew, Pearson, Shearer, Kinnear all played their part in getting us relegated.
Pardew has played his part in finishing 5th, quarters of the Europa and finishing in the top half the league. He won the premier league manager of the year award.
He had us riding high til January and the sale of Cabaye.
Well, some would like to take the risk of sacking him so Ashley can bring in another manager, knowing that any other manager would have to operate under the same constraints.
Good job we didn’t get Ole Gunnar Soljkaer like many shouted for. 😯
Troy Stavers(Quote)
Troy – you get weirder by the day. What part did Pardew play in getting us relegated? Any other manager? There’s not many who can produce the rubbish we have to watch and most of them including Solskjaer would be better. Mostly I feel having nobody would be better. Cath the tea lady? Headbutt headbutt.
georgio(Quote)
The deterioration of the team has been very difficult to watch. We are bottom 3 material for next season based on our play in the second half of this season. And some of our better players are going to leave on top of that. I don’t see how an incompetent such as Ashley will stop the slide now. The only thing that will possibly prevent relegation will be the fact that 2 of the 3 teams who come up from the Championship will probably go straight back down again so we really only have to stay out of 18th place. Sad, and I hope I’m wrong but the summer will tell the tale.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Will Ashley change his tune again and start saying any finish of 15th and above is acceptable to him? We already know mid table is acceptable but he starts to panic when we’re around 16th like last season. That suggests that 15th or better will be just fine with him.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
How about a series of 12th to 15th place finishes under Ashley for the next few seasons? Sounds exciting doesn’t it mates? Well, that’s what we’ll get if we’re lucky under Ashley. The way things are headed we’ll be in the bottom 5 next season, not even 12th to 15th.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
This is Mike’s vision for the club’s future. ”Achieving excellence through stupidity.” How do you say that in Latin? We’re going to have it put on blazers for all the players. Beautiful.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2 – quite right.
So will everyone please just press the big, red button marked “MAKE ASHLEY GO AWAY”.
It’s really not hard. Shame it’ll never happen; I think some would rather moan than miss a match; it’s like dealing with crack addicts.
Whumpie(Quote)
More Ashley quotes:
“Football knowledge is irrelevant. Only the bottom line matters.”
“The club is nothing more than a vehicle for the owner’s greed so **** off.”
“Truth is only useful if you can’t get away with a lie. I learned that in court against Kevin Keegan.”
Beautiful Mike.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Spot on Whumpie @167. If you care for the club boycott next season. It’s harsh medicine but necessary to get the cancer out. Cut off his money supply and he’ll disappear like a bad odour.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Actually, I only agree with the 165 post. I don’t think there’s all that much stupidity going on now; our situation is exactly what Ashley wants and plays for. Why the hell else would he sell Cabs rather than just telling him to sit tight like Manure did with Rooney? He’s got a World Cup place to play for; he’d have got on with it and right now we’d be looking at a European place.
But that would mean a bigger squad, which would mean spending, which breaks Ashley’s model, so it had to be avoided. Sell Cabs, don’t replace him, sack JFK to appease the supporters.
Job done. How’s my share price? Ah, yes; lovely. 🙄
Whumpie(Quote)
Attention mates! Important message from wor club. Given to your Senior Official Club Journo for presentation to Newcastle United supporters everywhere:
“On Monday May 12th, 2014 Mr. Joe Kinnear will be introduced as Director of Public Relations for the Club. Here is an initial quote from Mr. Kinner regarding his appointment:
“Well you f**king pillocks certainly don’t deserve me. I’m expecting record attendances next season even though you w**kers wouldn’t recognize good football if I came around to your house personally and shoved it up your a**.”
Thank you Mr. Kinnear. More to follow.
G2
SOCJ
GeordieTwo(Quote)
He comes across as an arrogant guy who doesn’t like to be made to look stupid or admit he’s wrong. Now if that’s true then sticking with Pards is somewhat of a gamble so what happens if things don’t improve despite new players coming in ❓ , he’s gonna look silly not hooking him now if say come January we are in the relegation zone . Poor Mikey he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, he doesn’t wanna hook him cause it means giving into fan pressure which he hates and yet if Pards fails again and the situation becomes dire he has to hook him and look a fool ,not to mention have to spend lots of money. So whats it to be Mikey stick or twist ❓ 😉
kIMTOON(Quote)
Posted on another blog by Jack Butler:
Last Two Premier Seasons
Played – 75
Won – 26
Drawn – 12
Lost – 37
Scored – 87
Conceded – 125
Does this tell us anything about the quality of the club under Ashley/Pardew? Nice goal difference there.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I was having a bit craic with the fatha in law today about footy – his a Mackem so is obviously chuffed they are staying up.
But he was saying that their season is very similar to ours last season – in that they had good cup runs but flirted with relegation for most of the season.
He was on about Colback and basically the feeling is that they wouldn’t be too bothered to loose him – even to us!. He’s a good grafter but doesn’t create a great deal in their offensive play – probably why Pardew fancies him I reckon.
He agreed that on paper our best 11 is better than their best 11 – but as a team their football is much better, and that’s thanks to Poyet.
He also believes that whilst Pardew is in charge of Newcastle, they are guaranteed 6 points next season – and whilst I called him a ******, I couldn’t help worrying that he may well be right based on our last few performances against them!.
Sharpy17(Quote)
Spot on Kimtoon @172. And I forgive you Whumpie @170 mate. Your argument actually makes more sense than mine although whatever way you look at it we’re in for a lot more poor football as long as Ashley is around.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Sharpy ,Hate to say it but your Father in law is spot on , Poyet has them playing well , for such a poor squad to beat Chelsea ,Manure and give Liverpool a real good game albeit they lost says much for the coaching and motivational skills of Poyet. And he’s also right about next seasons Derby games too, one of the reasons I wanted the Scum down is to avoid dropping 6 points . The days of looking forward to the Derby games are long gone and I hate that clueless **** Pards for that. He had a full squad at his disposal for the 1st and also the second one too I think, yet couldn’t get anything like a decent show out of them 👿 The thought of losing twice again sickens me, yet I know it will happen while he’s in charge.
kIMTOON(Quote)
so apparently according to news reports in France we are making moves for Christophe Gaultier the coach of Sint Ettiene , considering it started by one of the more reliable sources in France L’equipe their could be some truth in this one .Apparently he has taken his team too the verge of a CL place on a shoestring budget and is highly regarded in France . Taxi for pards on Monday morning?
AXEL(Quote)
Kim – if mike is handing over ‘decent’ money for new players he has to look at what Pardew has done with the players he’s been allowed to bring in so far – Anita, Cisse, Sissoko, Santon, Gouffran, MYM or Haidara.
Is Pardew getting the best out of those players as manager/head coach? – or are they actually **** players?. Whatever his conclusion it should result in the sacking of either Pardew or Carr.
Either Carr is finding good players at a good price and Pardew is not getting the best out of them – or Carr is finding poor players that Pardew can do nowt with and therefore isn’t a very good scout.
I know what my thoughts are, but I would suggest one would have to go.
Geordie – to only have won 1/3 of your games is bad but only 12 draws is the one that stands out for me. That’s alot of dropped points there.
Sharpy17(Quote)
so over last 2 seasons that’s a 34% win and 49% lose 17% draws
Hmmmmmm
So an average of 44 points per season.
It would seem then that Parsnip has far exceeded his own standard for this season.
Jobs a good un
The only way is up on the current trend.
Top 8 has to be Parsnips target for next season. – Not that he had a target for this season.
cough cough
Beardsleys Boots(Quote)
http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/mike-ashley-spends-day-st-7098277
kIMTOON(Quote)
Sharpy I agree mate, maybe there is truth to this French coach rumours, you would hope he could get the best out of French Lads. I think both Marv and Benny and Haidara too for that matter are quality players who need the right touch.
kIMTOON(Quote)
Again spot on @176 and 181 Kimtoon! You’re on a roll lass!
GeordieTwo(Quote)
g2, Cheers. 😉
kIMTOON(Quote)
Those numbers are grim indeed BB @179. I don’t look for it to get better until we get properly sorted out. If the owner gets a decent brain transplant and starts actually running the club as a football club not a profit vehicle for SD then there might be hope.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Please sing to the Goldfinger tune:
“Small *******
He’s the man, the man with the tiny knob
It can’t be seen
Such a small *******
Beckons you to enter and have a look
But don’t go in”
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I always did like Bond music.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
It’s the song Ashley’s dates should sing to themselves on their way to the castle.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Those Bond songs can be quite chilling. The thought of Mike waiting in the castle for his date, fondling his budgies, patch over one eye, feeding the sharks. Shudder!
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Yes Georgio, you did well spotting my deliberate mistake. 😆
I normally skip straight past your posts cos you have nothing worthy of reading, but when I saw my name at the start of your post, I looked in the mirror, pursed my lips, stroked my eyebrows and told myself I looked so handsome, before grudgingly responded to your post. 😆
It’s the last time tho. Make the most of it. 😛
Troy Stavers(Quote)
No, really mates I think Mike would make a tremendous Bond villain. Always served by cretinous lackeys, he has a yacht, he’s a bloated buffoon. It’s perfect casting.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2, 😆
how about
Nobody does it better, screws up more than the rest
Nobody does it quite like Jabba , baby he’s a mess.
kIMTOON(Quote)
I like it Kimtoon. Our new Bond villain SmallScrotum. 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Jabba and his cronies sing this at meetings
People like us
Know how to survive
There’s no point in living
If you can’t feel the life
We know when to kiss
And we know when to kill
If we can’t have it all
Then nobody will
[Chorus]
[Bridge:]
(I…)I feel safe
(I…)I feel scared
(I…)I feel ready
(I…)And yet unprepared
[Chorus]
The world is not enough [x2]
No nowhere near enough… ( from the world is not enough )
But his favourite bond theme is Casino Royale of course 😉
kIMTOON(Quote)
G2 , Smallscrotum 😆 has a neat ring to it.
kIMTOON(Quote)
Second verse:
Small *******!
He’s the man with the tiny nuts
They can’t be seen
Such a small *******
He’d love to have it off with you
But it won’t go in
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Is smallscrotum’s side kick Hue j’**** par’dew. ❓
AXEL(Quote)
You see? We really do understand you Mike.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Yes! That’s him Axel mate! 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Now I’ll never get that song oot of me heed.
Smallscrotum!
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Go watch SmallScrotum in 3D HD in a theatre near you. Starting May 12. Beautiful.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Has there ever been an evil villain quite like SmallScrotum?
GeordieTwo(Quote)
A lot of you keep saying I’m completely mad but it’s not true! No! I’ve had myself tested and I’m no more than 99.997% mad. Harrumph.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I’ve just been reading an article that suggests we are actually considering sorting a deal to keep De Jong permanently 😯
Sharpy17(Quote)
Have you got a link for that Sharpy mate?
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Signing De Jong on a permanent sounds like the dastardly work of SmallScrotum!
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Nobody screws us better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody screws us half as good as you
Mikey, you’re the best.
Another SmallScrotum thriller coming soon!
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Geordie – it was in The Journal, hopefully this link works, the last few I’ve tried to put up didn’t work –
http://www.thejournal.co.uk/sport/
Sharpy17(Quote)
And nobody screws us better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody screws us quite the way you do
Mikey why’d you have to be so good?
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Ta Sharpy.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I think the coming features with SmallScrotum as the villain will be the best of the lot.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Oh sure, you lot tell me to get psychiatric help but then I go see someone and they beg me to stop coming as it’s having a terrible effect on their mental health. 😯
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Had a fanny feeling that Je Dong was gonna score for a permanent deal.
Must be an extra special deal on the extra extra cheap.
Too tempting for Jabba to turn down.
Our Supreme coaching team will turn his form around and we should be able to sell him in a couple years for a vast profit.
Beardsleys Boots(Quote)
Fall on your knees infidels and worship at the feet of our glorious Leader.
Beardsleys Boots(Quote)
Sharpy , yep I saw that about De Jong earlier mate, it says a fee of £8m has already been agreed but Toon may come back and try to reduce the price. If we pay £8m, based on what I have seen so far we will be getting mugged. In fairness to him though he’s come into the team at a bad time when we are on a poor run and with him not having played much so maybe I’m harsh to judge him. Maybe a loan deal until January window give him more time to impress is the answer . 😕
kIMTOON(Quote)
What a visionary cashley is.
He never fails to bring money into the club.
I know he likes a gamble, but he cant fail on this one.
Easy money.
Beardsleys Boots(Quote)
I doubt we will pay anything like £8M
more likely half that.
But if it helps us to seal the deal for his brother, then cheap at twice the price.
Every cloud and all that
Beardsleys Boots(Quote)
So if the Hammers beat City and Liverpool beat us Pool win the league.
kIMTOON(Quote)
BB@216, Aye there is that 😀
kIMTOON(Quote)
Kim – I think BMG will want rid to be honest, but I can’t see them reduce the price by much coz they will want to recoup some of the money they paid for him.
I’d rather put that £8m toward getting Danny Ings or Jordan Rhodes or someone like that instead
Sharpy17(Quote)
We persist with signing De Jong because Graham Carr is above reproach at this club for some reason. He could tell us to sign Harry Redknapp as a player and this lot would try it.
funkyjesus(Quote)
Sharpy, aye I know mate, but surely Jabba isn’t daft enough to pay all that unless there is a deal on the cards for siem reliant on it in some way 😕
kIMTOON(Quote)
I know it’s different clubs but maybe siem won’t come unless his brother stays with us 😕 mad but stranger things have happened, and lets face it the Toon don’t do normal. 🙄
kIMTOON(Quote)
Kim – if that was the sub plot to signing Siem then I’d reluctantly go along with it. I think Siem is a top player and exactly what we need to replace Cabaye – though I do also like Shelvey who we have been loosely linked with as well.
As for Luuk, well I suppose he’d be an ideal replacement for Shola – a big clumsy forward who can’t hit a barn door 😆
Sharpy17(Quote)
Sharpy, I’m just gonna sit back and wait and see mate, I will be amazed if we get anyone of note in tbh, I am determined not to stress out over it all, I’m not gonna give that FCB the satisfaction. Anyway England will stress me out enough this summer, the WC will be a welcome distraction as it might stop the press linking us with all and sundry for 5 minutes. 😉
kIMTOON(Quote)
Why are people here so eager to sign Siem de Jong. I know he has some great stats but he doesn’t fit in this Newcastle squad. He has two things he works hard and if he’s in shape he can score goals.(Most of which he scored playing as a striker) He isn’t creative, gets alot of critics from Ajax supporters for his mediocre technique. He is great off the ball but weak on the ball. I think we should buy a good playmaker and don’t spend+/- 6-10 mln euro’s on a player who isn’t that.
All the Ajax supporters had a good laugh when we bought Anita, and they’ll have another good laugh when we buy de Jong.
mm_food(Quote)