Me forst game.

Where it all began.
Where it all began.
‘So what d’yi want for your borthday, kidda?’

The kidda thinks aboot this and sez with a shrug, ‘futbaal boots?’

‘Nar, man, what d’yi want if yi cud have anything at aal?’

There’s only one thing the kid wants more than anything at aal an that’s to see Newcastle play. He’s reluctant to say it because his mam has said he cannit go coz it’s too bliddy dangerous for a young lad, and his da is too bliddy drunk most of the time to tek im, but he sez it anyway.

And then a few weeks later Uncle Jim cums roond to tek im ti the match. They catch the bus doon Sunland Road and doon Gateshead High Street and ower the bridge into toon. The kid can feel the excitement grow inside him. He sees the black ‘n’ white scarves ‘n’ hats, and he can hear the hum of match day in the conversations. It’s really hapnin! He’s ganni see the lads.

It meks niy difference to him that it’s a second division game; he naas the teym’ll cum when it’ll be a forst division game. That’s how the magic of the game works, man. Leyk a cauldron of boilin vegetables, the eddys force you up and then doon and up again. You cum 6th, then you cum 10th, then its 15th, 8th, 13th, 9th, 5th, 12th. Sometimes the fates are against you and you get relegated, but you aalwiz cum back up. At least Newcastle diy. It’s written in the history. He’s read it. Newcastle aren’t like Halifax or Exeter or Workington, places that must’ve been built to fill up the lower divisions.

They gerroff the bus and waak doon a cobbled street that the kid didn’t naa existed. Aye, he’d been to Newcastle before, leyk, but he’d never seen it on match day, and on match day ivrything seems diffrint. Somehow aal the buildings luk stately and prood, and he half expects to see Orl Grey wearing a black ‘n’ white scarf up there on his monument.

They join a queue and aal he can think aboot is beatin’ Derby. He luvs the chitchat, and when somebody says, ‘Whey aye, man, wi’ll gan up this year. Wa r’aalreddy top, yi naa,’ the kid cannit contain his emotions and he laughs oot loud. Uncle Jim gives him a weird look. ‘Aalreet, kidda?’

Thi kidda’s gob is too claggy to say owt.

‘His forst game,’ Uncle Jim sez to an auld gadgie, and that starts people taakin aboot Wor Jackie and the cups. Aye, the kid thinks, we’ll win one of them soon an aal.

They push through the tornstile and head to some steps. More steps than he thought there’d be. Up he gaans. He can hear the crowd now. Singing. He can smell the tab smoke. He can feel the atmosphere bubblin’ ower the Galagate waals and doon the steps.

Then he gets to the top and loses his breath when he sees the pitch. It glows. It’s like a big green mat that floats above the terraces. Aye, there’re broon patches left ower from other games, but even they shine like gold dust, well, gold mud – it’s been rainin’. Funny that, he thinks, he thought it’d been sunny aal day.

By the time he’s started breathin’ again, he’s standin’ near the front, but he can’t see much.
‘It’s aalreet, kidda, yill see the baal when it gans in the air,’ somebody says.
‘Y’aalreet, son,’ some other bloke says. ‘Yi wanna stand here? Yill git a berra view, leyk. Ahl stand behind yi. ‘Champion,’ Uncle Jim says.

The kid shuffles forward. He can smell the grass. His ears ring with New-cass-ell being called from the Leazes End. And he sings alang with the Blaydon Races when it happens. He wonders if he was born aalreddy naain the words. He luvs the Leazes crowd. That’s where he wants to be when he grows up. Ower there, singing his heart out for the lads.

The game passes in a blur of action. It didn’t seem this fast and physical on telly, and to see the lads in the flesh is something wonderful. Black ‘n’ white had nivver been more colourful. At half time his uncle tells him how to read the scoreboard, and a wave of anticipation rolls ower him as the big white numbers are placed next to yella letters by some unseen people. Sunland are losin. Get in!

The second half flies by as fast as the forst. Uncle Jim says, ‘Ten minutes left,’ and points to a flag pole in the corner. The kid hasn’t a clue what the hell he’s taakin aboot, but he doesn’t care; there’s futbaal gannin on, reet there, reet there in front of him.

Then it’s aal ower. Full time. How can ninety minutes pass so quickly? People head back yem.
‘Ah gorra gan ti the bog,’ the kid says. ‘Divvint droon,’ Uncle Jim says. ’Yi mam id kill iz.’
The kid goes to the toilet and steps into a puddle of piss. A guy pisses into a basin, another pisses against the waal coz there’s a queue five deep to get to the trough. The kid finally gets a chance to piss.

A bloke with a big kite and a cloth cap sees him and shuffles ower so the kid can get in. ‘Move ower, man,’ the gadgie says to the fella next to him. ‘ … the kid,’ he adds, and nods the kid’s way as if that explained ivrythin. A whole bunch of blokes shuffle doon a bit.
The place smells like beer and piss, and tabs float in the yellowish froth in the trough. The kid cannit hear anything in particular; it’s aal just a big droning noise … or has his lugs gone deef cos of the roar of the crood? The kid pisses on a tab end and it dances in yellow liquid. 2-2, he thinks, and he relives the moments when Newcastle scored – the jumpin up and doon, arms raised, clappin’ like a maniac, and then the groan of the crood when Derby scored, and how he almost felt like cryin’ then. He relives the other hundred emotions, of near misses, bad passes, missed opportunities, great tackles, the thud of boot on baal, the ripple of baal on net. F**king hell, man, he thinks, because he isn’t yet confident enough to swear oot lood when grown-ups were roond. Aal he really naas, tho, is that there’s nowt better in this world than actually being there and watchin’ the lads play.

He does his zip up and wades oot i the bog and into the dark November night.

Uncle Jim smiles an winks. ‘Y’aalreet?’ Aye, the kid’s champion, man.

The two of them traipse oot i St James’ Park. The kid vows he’ll be back as soon as he can. Nowt was ganni get in the way of him enjoying this again. Nowt. Absolutely nowt. And there’d be nowt anybody could diy or say that would stop him from supporting Newcastle United.

He’d just had the best experience of his ten years on the planet, and it would remain up there with best of them for the rest of his life.

By Brisvegas

572 thoughts on “Me forst game.

  1. @TDS

    thats because he holds interviews with different media. I heard it after the match.. Newcastle radio

    be patient son, its worth the wait.. 😛


  2. If that quote is accurate…well, he’s obviously right with what he says, but with most clubs, that kind of comment signals the end.

    He’s hardly going to get an easier ride when he blames a 4-0 defeat on the fans…and it’s not as if things could get better then…it’s a vicious cycle!


  3. Pardew is clearly losing his integrity and coming out with statements like this is not helping.

    The raw stats are though that we have win only 4 games from our last 24. I still can’t see where the goals will come from and our defence is the worst in the league. Now if Ashley is looking a these stats he has no choice but to act and sack him, but this is Ashley. He will not want to sack him for various reasons; 1) It will cost him money 2) To get a decent manager he would have to pay him more than Pardew 3) He knows its what the supporters want so he won’t do it as he’s a stubborn toss pot.


  4. TDS – Saturday will be absolutely toxic and I can’t see us winning it due to that reason. However I can’t blame the supporters as they’ve gone a long way to watch that ****e.


  5. If Ashley has learnt anything about football and fans then he must know that the away fans are always the last to turn on the manager,the fact that they have says it all. He now has no choice imo.


  6. I knew we’d get thrashed, as I said before the window ended defenders were of the upmost importance more so than a CF, at least we could of ground out a load of draws and maybe nick the odd win with a tight defence.


  7. Kim there was a fair few on here just before the window closed saying that they were happy enough except they would have liked a striker.
    I along with other knew we needed defenders in, I have been saying for over a yr that Colo is a waste of an armband as he is one of the main players at fault.


  8. I can’t believe people are so negative now but couldn’t see it preseason.

    It was clear as day what was coming.

    Of course, I got hammered for being so negative and making judgements before the season started.

    How the Clueless Crew couldn’t see it is beyond me.

    But, we’ll get another average manager in which for many seems to be the solution.

    I now predict that if a new manager is appointed the Clueless Crew will be shouting for his sacking within 12 months.

    I don’t believe any manager can save us with this squad unless Ashley spends a fortune in January to save us.


  9. Dave aye I know mate, it’s a real shame we loaned Lascelles back and loaned out Mbiwa too, cause right now they couldn’t be any worse .


  10. love to see the back of p45.but these players brought in are not good enough they would struggle in the championship.i hope a new manager would get more out of them but i doubt it.i think this is a relegation season for us,ihope im wrong like.


  11. Don’t agree with fans demanding the manager leaves by chanting and displaying banners before a match, never have. That doesn’t help the club at all.

    But the problem is, once it gets to that point, there’s only one winner. Can’t sack the fans so Pardew would have to go. This kind of toxic atmosphere has really screwed clubs up before.


  12. Troy – To be honest I agree with what you’re saying regards the manager but I truly believe the players have given up on Pardew and that is a really bad indictment on Pardew. We can’t go on like this and with Pardew we are clearly doomed for relegation and a change of manager will give us a better chance. Although I agree the clueless crew will be calling for the new managers head when he can’t get blood out of a stone, but the atmosphere is now toxic and will be impossible for the players to perform in.

    So Pardew must go, a new manager must come in and keep us up.

    But for the avoidance of doubt I do not believe Pardew will get sacked.


  13. But I would also like to add, I reckon Pardew is a decent guy and has been completely pissed all over by Ashley. Pardew is probably at home now hoping Ashley sacks and him puts him out of his misery. The guy won’t be able to come out of the dug out on Saturday… Again… 😕


  14. DAVE I always said I would give it 6 games,but that was unreal by so called footballers,for defenders to turn their backs on the ball as they did a few times I cannot understand,fans ambition for Pulis i think it is that is all they expect from jabba as most know he won’t spend money to go for a top manager and let’s get real what top manager would work with jabba IMO none,in fact I don’t think Pulis would come here and work with him


  15. Tory – “I now predict that if a new manager is appointed the Clueless Crew will be shouting for his sacking within 12 months”

    If the fat ****roller appoints another ****e coach, then we have every right to shout for his head too, and so on and so forth until the fat tw@t gets the ****ing message.

    He’ll get sick before we do. Hopefully he will be off then too.

    I predict you talk thru your arse most of the time.
    yup spot on


  16. Stuart

    I am with you on that. Unfortunately the team are going to be relegated IMO unless Ashley saves us in January.

    Pardew can’t recover from this. He has openly stated, whether he believed it or not, the squad was good enough.

    Everyone bar the Clueless Crew could see it wasn’t.

    If Pards goes, it gives a new manager time to settle into the club though it’s going to be a rough ride.

    However, whoever comes in, won’t be good enough and won’t be provided the resources to meet the fans expectations, so within a short period of time, the new manager will come under pressure from the fans.

    The anger should not be displayed towards Pardew. The blame lies firmly at the door of Ashley. But myself, you and Dave have preached this since 2008.

    We got the same abuse then from the Clueless Crew who believed he had a 5 yr plan.

    Ashley out banners should be displayed not Pardew out!


  17. Stu, He has been pissed on by Jabba but he’s let him do it, he’s taken the money and put his dignity to one side. As for decent, I don’t agree, he has a potty mouth, anger issues and a blame everyone else attitude. Last game it was the fans fault for urging the team on that we conceded the late goal and this week it was the fans fault for having a pop at him 😕 . Maybe the fans should sit in silence since we can’t do right for wrong it seems.


  18. The thing is Troy, that Ashley would probably sanction spending in January if we looked like we were going down as he did a couple of years ago. He needs to protect his investment and I doubt he trusts Pardew after the start of this season and performances.

    The supporters can’t get to Ashley – he is untouchable unless people just stopped turning up to the matches.


  19. Where is Santii?

    The very same person that continuously threw abuse in our direction because we criticised the squad and recruitment?

    This is an example of the rubbish he printed;
    August 7, 2014 at 15:57

    I am very happy with the 9 players we have brought in and would be happy going into the season with the current team. Would love to get rid of S.Taylor and get a better option in but it doesn’t look likely at the minute.


  20. KIM@488,you got it mate,IMO both jabba and pardew should go,lots of clubs have a coach,club/owners buy players and sell players the coach has to get on with it if he cannot he’s out Ime not saying its the right or wrong way to go but some clubs do it that way more so abroad,our problem is jabba is not a footy man (just a greedy git) we need some one that knows the game people like Dein ect,to guide blind men like jabba


  21. Troy that’s a good point mate. Santii tried belittling us and now we were right about Ashley spending nothing and the players signed aren’t doing so great nothing ?


  22. aye santi..brought up stats of the new lads scoring record in the leagues they came from ha.i predicted rivera would score 11 can i change that tds,be fkin lucky if he hits the oinion bag.for every cabaye you find you get a rivera..


  23. Stuart

    Agree about the fans. If the fans can’t stop going then they need to go to hurl abuse at the fat ****ney tw@t and do it continuously.

    Though boycotting is the best option.


  24. Totally agree, Troy. Supporters should just stop going and let them play in front of 20,000 and see what he thinks about that.


  25. Hitman

    Did you not criticise me for saying Rivière wasn’t good enough to step up to the plate at this stage in his career. ? It rings a bell. 😉


  26. Here is the running order for Match Of The Day (10.50pm start) as revealed by Gary Lineker via his Twitter account;

    Chelsea v Swansea

    Arsenal v Manchester City

    Liverpool v Aston Villa

    Southampton v Newcastle United

    Sunderland v Tottenham

    West Brom v Everton

    Stoke v Leicester

    Crystal Palace v Burnley


  27. Does anyone think Santii will show his face again on here;

    August 14, 2014 at 16:01
    Players bought
    Cabella – 14 goals
    Riviere – 13 goals
    De Jong – 9 goals (despite being injured for half the season. He has 16 or more in the 4 seasons previous)
    Ferreyra – 6 goals despite starting less than 10 games
    Perez – 16 goals
    Janmaat – 2 goals
    Colback – 3 goals
    Total of 63 goals if my maths is correct. Not bad
    Players left
    Remy – 14 goals
    Cabaye – 7 goals
    Debuchy – 1 goal
    Ameobi – 3 goals
    The other players that left either didn’t score any or i cant think of them right now.
    Total of 25 goals lost
    How people can suggest we look less of a threat is beyond me….. Even if the players do half as well as they have been we are still up.


  28. Troy,
    Still loving the FOOL i see!
    The bloke is an ******** and couldn’t run a bath much the same as the owner i may add.
    Ashley though does not select the side and set them up like dominoes to fall!
    The FOOL is an imposter and an evil man who blamed the fans today!
    Colo is finished but Mbwia was allowed to leave! Players played out of position on a weekly basis, a lone striker selected for every match where we try to defend when we cant……Jesus Christ man Howay


  29. Got to love Santii

    August 14, 2014 at 17:12
    Top scorer = Cisse
    Thats a brave call CC
    I think Riviere will get 14 goals btw


  30. Sorry Hitman but;

    August 14, 2014 at 18:51
    prem finish 13
    fa cup 5th round
    league cup 5th round
    player sold mr t
    player in.hope to good for cb
    top scorer riveria 11
    pardew sacked before crimbo
    pardews replacement,the one and only


  31. Actually Riviere IS good enough to step up, but NOT on his own.
    He never has been.
    The players may well be bang average, but they are being made to look worse by a clueless tw@t of a coach.


  32. Richietoon sorry but;

    Final position = 8th
    Final points = 58
    League Cup round = 5th
    FA Cup round = 4th
    First team players signed (after 16th August) = 3
    First team players sold (after 16th August) = 5
    Top scorer = Ferryre
    Top scorer goals = 14
    Month Pardew sacked = I wish!! stuck with him
    Pardew replacement = N/A


  33. I hope 52thou turn up for the last time and give pardew/jabba abuse,it will not affect the players as they will get beat anyway with pardews tactics,then stay away until we get them out.
    Rangers needed 10mil from share sale they got 3.1 mil,I still think jabba will buy them when they are about to go bust,he then might feek off


  34. Premandup. Sorry but;

    Finish 9th
    Points 57
    L cup qf
    Fa cup sf
    Players in 3
    Players out 3
    Top scorer Cisse 17
    Pardew sacked no.


  35. I have also said all along that its easy to blame Pards and that is partly why he has the job, because the FCB knows that he ( Pards )will get all the **** and Jabba can keep getting away without getting the abuse he deserves.
    Pards is part of the problem but Jabba is the main problem, but while pards is getting all the blame that is more reason for Jabba to stick with him.
    The fans need to wake up and aim the abuse at the main problem


  36. Sorry TDS but;

    August 15, 2014 at 12:36
    Ok…my predictions…so I can’t be accused of cheating later!
    Final position = 8th
    Final points = 55
    League Cup round = Semis
    FA Cup round = 5th
    First team players signed (after 16th August) = 1 (in January)
    First team players sold (after 16th August) = 3 (Jonas, HBA + 1 other)
    Top scorer = Riviere
    Top scorer goals = 12
    Month Pardew sacked = Not
    Pardew replacement = Someone different if sacked – foreign and youngish


  37. Solanos Trumpet sorry but;

    August 15, 2014 at 13:42
    Final position = 7th
    Final points = 57
    League Cup round = Fourth round
    FA Cup round = Semis
    First team players signed (after 16th August) = 1 in August, 1 in Jan
    First team players sold (after 16th August) = 3 Jonas, HBA in Aug, Cisse in Jan
    Top scorer = Riviere
    Top scorer goals = 15
    Month Pardew sacked = Not
    Pardew replacement = Someone different if sacked – foreign and youngish


  38. TGS – My opinion is simple; Pardew must go as its gone too far and he won’t even be able to manage on Saturday which won’t help the team. He won’t be able to get out of his seat and that will not be good. 4 wins in 24 or 18 points out 69 is just not acceptable.

    He won’t go though. Ashley has many faults, but he is loyal and Pardew is his human shield.

    I would add though, the squad isn’t good enough, and is worser than last seasons, so its little wonder were struggling.


  39. You’re gonna be right with this one;

    August 15, 2014 at 15:30
    That’s the point!
    So those people who are saying how much we’ll struggle can put their opinion down and at the end of the season they can either prove they were right in the first place, or we can point out how negative they’ve been. Someone will get bragging rights anyway!


  40. Sharpy sorry but;

    August 15, 2014 at 15:36
    TDS –
    Final position – 9th
    Final points – 52
    League cup round – Quarters
    FA Cup round – Fourth round
    First team players signed (after 16th August) – Micah Richards
    First team players sold (after 16th August) – Ben Arfa
    Top scorer – Rivière
    Top scorer goals – 13
    Month Pardew sacked (or not) – end of the season if target isn’t achieved
    Pardew replacement – I’d hope for Frank De Boer


  41. SANTII was right with this one ;

    August 15, 2014 at 15:43
    Well we know Troy thinks we will be relegated…


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