Match Day Banter

After a full weekend of of football there is only one game left to complete the round. Newcastle United take on Stoke FC in a what could be described as a bottom of the table clash.

Magpies v Potters
Magpies v Potters

Newcastle currently sits second bottom thanks to the efforts of Burnley and Stoke sit a mere two points ahead. So with a win we could see Newcastle move up above Sunderland and equal on points with Everton and Hull. So it just goes to show how important a victory is and the the three points that comes along with it. It will be a tall order to travel to the Britannia Stadium and come away with a win as we are yet to get that all important first victory as yet. Stoke have not fared much better to be honest. They have just the one victory to date. So it has all the hallmarks of being a dour game and one can only hope that it rises above the promise that it is showing leading up to kick off.

I really hope Pardew starts with Cisse and Riviere up front and comes out attacking. We have nothing to lose at this stage and it would be nice to see some attacking intent. We have seen some improved performances of late and I am hoping that we can continue the slight rise in form. Stoke are there for the taking if we are good enough. I really hope we can pull of a win and get this season started proper. Howay the lads.

Aussie Magpie Fan

404 thoughts on “Match Day Banter

  1. Our defense positionally is pathetic.

    Colo pleads but Willo goes walk about. The Colo drops deep to cover. A mistake in itself.

    Who coaches the defense? Oh yes, that’s right.

    Two DMs to protect the defense leaves us with a lonely isolated striker.

    We have posession but only in our own half and the chances we have are pit shots from outside the box. No wonder our conversion rate is the lowest in the league.

    Why does Pardew leave the striker so isolated EVEN WHEN WE ARE LOSING!! He refuses to play two up front.

    Set pieces are shocking. We have no dead ball specialist.

    Pards said we needed someone capable of some magic in the final third.
    You sent the only two players we have like that out on loan you prick!

    He kept throwing players on out of desperation rather than with strategy because the “attacking” three had to keep changing positions.

    Stoke should have won this 3-1 on merit.

    How much more does a manager have to get wrong before he gets the sack.

    Now he says a change in the starting XI is needed to freshen things up.
    Well no **** Sherlock. Taken you a year to work that out.

    He is so defeatest before games. Negative in his set up and tactics. No wonder the players have no belief.

    We are so boring and so ****. I’ve never been so ashamed to have to admit this is Newcastle football now days.


  2. Raffo,
    Mbiwa played RB he’s CB
    Cisse played RM he’s ST
    Sissoko played RM he’s a CM
    Gouffran played LM he’s a ST.
    Cabella played LM he’s a no.10

    Why are you so surprised?


  3. JJ – you forgot to add Cabaye, the attacking playmaker from Lille that he played as a CDM. Pathetic.

    We seriously need a change of direction. Any small, pathetic ideas of a successful season have now been replaced by a very real fight for mere survival.


  4. Fingers crossed he’ll be gone in the morning. He looked on the verge of a breakdown. Put him and us out of our misery for gods sake


  5. Wi predicted all this preseason yet the Cueless Crew hoped and dreamed and gushed over the new signings.

    I honestly believe The Clueless Crew don’t understand football. 🙄


  6. Some of us have been predicting this for the last 2 years under the leadership of the FOOL
    Can’t believe the point scorers have been defending the fool all this time.
    Can’t see the wood for the trees some people. 😳
    Too busy running around in their batman suits, trying to score points and put people down in some kind of vain quest to boost their own ego.
    Can’t help but feel sorry for the sad lives they lead.
    ho hum


  7. Pardew has to go. He is not sticking with the same players because of a lack of options, he is sticking with the same players becasue he has his favourites and he sticks with them no matter the result. How he can justify the Wilo/Collo combination after all the drubbings we have taken is beyond me…
    ….. there are plenty of better managers that can fill the breach even though the Pardew Praisers don’t believe it’s possible to get a better manger in. But when you read statements like – Sir Alex would only do “slightly” better with the players we have – it is hard to take anything they say seriously! 😯 😛


  8. “We can’t keep getting beat, so were going to have to address that”. – WOW thanks for that Al.

    Interviewer – “you seemed to play well in the first two thirds of the pitch but was the problem in the final third do you think?”
    Alan – “yeah and it has been most of the season….”

    Yet you’ve changed nothing Al you dumb ****!!.
    He knows that Rivière needs support yet continues to play him along up there. Got to go now!!.


  9. doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different results is the definition of insanity isn’t it? 😉


  10. Just couldn’t believe he replaced Riv with Cisse.
    And only because it worked once before.
    Surely it would have given us more chance, to play the two alongside each other as a front 2. As Riv was doing at Monaco alongside Falcao.
    The Sky post match analysis showed that Colo was to blame for the goal too.
    Pardew says he is going to have ‘serious talks’ with Mash, but I’m sorry, the time for that was during the summer when the transfer window was open.
    The recruitment policy is a pile of **** and Mash should have been told so straight up. Pardew should have demanded the right players, instead of all the sucking up. No way was Mash going to sack him for that. And he would have earned a little respect.
    Whoever is lined up to replace Pardew better have a backbone, or we will never get out of this situation.
    Either that or we need a Director of Football that knows what he is doing.
    This is the scary outcome, that Percy could become the DoF and a new puppet/coach brought in to work under him. Doesn’t bare thinking about.
    The structure of the club is a complete shambles from top to bottom.


  11. ooh there u go as i said @188

    “We had a big chance with Jack who is beating himself up about it.

    “If that goes in we all knew what we’d do. We’d try to get the winner.


  12. Hahhaha. I knew the excuses would flow from the mouths of the Clueless Crew like a dog with the squitz.

    Not a care in the world that’s it’s flowing onto the living room carpet. 😆


  13. Aussie –

    “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different results is the definition of insanity isn’t it?”

    Do you mean like Troys **** craic hoping to get a bite 😆


  14. I’ll take that one Sharpy. 😆

    I’m howling at the Clueless Crew singing from the same hymn sheet as the songs I was singing preseason.

    Unfortunately for them, they were singing Hallallulya and Jesus is a sunbeam whilst I was the Prophet himself and foresaw all this turmoil. 😆

    Comedy gold. 😛


  15. I do recall myself and Stuart kept getting hammered because we couldn’t see Riviere or Cabella being the wonder boys.

    Wow. The negativity is just so hypocritical. 😉


  16. ooh there u go as i said @188
    “We had a big chance with Jack who is beating himself up about it.
    “If that goes in we all knew what we’d do. We’d try to get the winner.

    Ye Mark,

    Pards also fails to realise if Moses had slotted his sitter and Stoke hadn’t struck the post we’d have been 3-0 down by then anyway.

    It doesn’t help to create one decent chance the entire game.

    The only shot we had on target was a 40 yard effort from our right back FFS.

    Yet he continues to give the striker no support week in week out. We could put Messi up front he would look useless under Pardew’s negative tactics.

    Of course their are those that will blame the players but for me if every international player looks clueless under him their is only one man to blame. That’s the man who sets them up.

    Can keep blaming the squad and players lack of ability. But do we have the worst squad in the league by the margins that Pardew is showing it to be??? 19 point from 25 games is it?

    No goals in the calendar year scored away by our players? Even non league squads wouldn’t have stats as bad as Pardew’s. He absolutely useless.


  17. If logic says that a lower league side can on their day beat a PL team in a cup game by sheer spirit and effort then even our squad should be capable of causing an upset and having the odd good display here and there. The fact is we have some international players who at the present time look worse than some lower league teams players, we are impotent in front of goal and I believe it is purely based on how we are set up . We do not possess a Costa type forward who can play up front on their own so why does he set us up like that ❓ I’m no tactical genius but it seems to me we need two up front and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to at least try it. The worst that happens is we lose and don’t score, well what the hell that’s happening anyway.


  18. More chance of Ronald Koeman getting sacked than Pardew.

    It’s all about Money and neither Ashley not Pardew have NUFC’s interests at heart. If they did, Pardew would have resigned or Ashley would have sacked him and paid him up.

    Sad state of affairs.


  19. 5 wins 4 draws and 17 defeats since last Boxing day.
    19 points from a possible 78
    But its not Pardew’s fault. None of it.
    Blame Mash and the **** players, not Pardew.
    Pardew would win the CL with city’s squad nee botha.
    yeah right


  20. Stuart – well Mash will lose a hell of a lot more money if we get relegated this season, which looks very likely if he doesn’t make some changes soon.
    I’m not sure that I actually give a **** anymore.
    Especially about the financial side of things. Not my problem.


  21. The scary thing is that Obertan actually looked like our best player when he came on…

    I haven’t made many comments on Pardew in or Pardew out… I tend to think with Ashley holding the keys, that regarding Pardew – better the devil you know than the devil you don’t…

    I sometimes think that maybe Pardew had the ****ty end of the stick and didn’t get the players he wanted and he is doing the best he can… I try to see all sides…

    But then the squad is what it is, and will not change, at least until January, but there are options that even I can see (and I can’t even get a decent fanatasy football team going) and it’s not a bad squad … Everyone can see that 1 up front is not working, but Pardew cannot. We all can see that our defenders cannot defend, but Pardew cannot…. I think we all can pretty much agree that if we are losing then subs need to be made at a time when they can make a difference rather than in the last 5 mins when we are several goals down…
    I’m pretty sure that all of us would have not taken Rivi off for Cisse but rather played them together…

    So, now I think – bring on the Devil we don’t know, whomever it may be (apart from JFK) 😯 … I’m almost bald with tearing my hair out and seeing us play like this just depresses the hell out of me. I want get into a quite room with Pardew, lock the door, slap him round the head several times and then ask him why he cannot see what the whole world can see …

    When I was a kid and did something I shouldn’t do, my Dad used to say… “God, Shit in my hand so I have something to throw at him (Me)” I think it is rather an approriate thing to say regarding Pardew right now… Oh God, Please **** in my hand so I have something to throw at him…


  22. Well said Dubai Toon.
    Cue the point scorer telling Dubai Toon how he predicted all this in pre season and that he is now one of the Happy Clappy Clueless Crew.


  23. Ashley looked resigned to a sacking to me. His face said it all BUT will he do it after that daft drunken exchange on Friday? Makes him look an idiot.


  24. BB – I don’t believe that £5m story. Ashley is far too smart and tight for that. It’s on Sky that he’s been given another game which is hard enough to believe in itself. However they were never going to get a new manager in before Friday so it was a choice between Pardew and Carver for Swansea. That’s my take on it anyway.

    BTW – £15m on Cabella and Riviere has to be our biggest waste of money ever. And yes I do remember Boumsong.


  25. BB – He will push it as long as he can. If he doesn’t need to make a change he won’t. It’s a gamble but we know he likes a gamble.

    The big question is when does Ashley think his investment is at risk?


  26. Wow, I see Troy is stealing my jokes again.. he knows no bounds when it comes to plagiarising my material… deary me.. he is a silly little pisser.. 😆


  27. Ashley could have bought a descent striker but we get SDJ instead. Another Owen but cheaper. Let’s face it we are getting relegated, hat’s of to Alan and Mike.


  28. Well we will get to see how bad MYM is against City,oh wait a minute he’s playing at c/b he’s a r/b isn’t he?? well pardew says he’s a r/b he cannot be wrong can he ffs


  29. Cannot believe he is still in a job after last night, the team selection, the subs everything a carbon copy of his usual old tired routine. Every manager in the league knows how and who he’ll play and who and when his subs will be, we surprise no one ever.


  30. Kim,

    Pardew’s substitutions stank of desperation last night.

    Even when he has nothing to lose he refuses to gamble on more than one up front. It’s crazy.

    He made Sissoko play as a right wing, left wing, no.10 and centre mid in the space of 10 minutes.

    Cabella, was shifted from right, to left, to the centre and Gouffran was asked to play as a no 10!!!!!!!! FFS he’s not even close to that type of player.

    Absolutely clueless.

    Tiote is being asked to play as some sort of deep lying playmaker – simply doesn’t have that ability.

    If he wants to play two DMs then one of them needs to be creative. But wait, he sold that player.


  31. Ashley looks completely disinterested in the club. There is zero emotional attachment.

    The only thing that would get him to sack Pardew is the threat of relegation. I think Pardew has two more games.

    We’ll get beat by Swansea.


  32. I don’t see him sacking him anytime soon sadly. He’ll just see it as giving into fan pressure and he hates us too much to do that. Time to try chanting for Jabba to sell up again .


  33. Mental to allow this to continue; I can just about understand him being in charge for Swansea as Ashley was unlikely to climb down after what he said last week.

    The staggering thing is that he is apparantly safe if (when) we lose on saturday. Its still early enough to salvage a season as weve seen a million times from teams in the past but it gets harder with every passing week


  34. The sad thing about this is that Ashley doesn’t want to sack Pardew even though he knows Pardew isn’t the right man because he doesn’t want to pay him the compo and Pardew doesn’t want to resign even though he looked and sounded like he knew he wasn’t the man to turn this round because he doesn’t want to miss out on the compo. This shows that in reality neither of them have NUFC’s best interests at heart and this is the sad, sad situation we have arrived at.


  35. This is your Senior Official Blog Journo. I’m here at the ground with our beloved manager Alan Pardew once again. I have several questions for you Alan:
    G2: First of all Alan are your underpants too tight? You have been looking very uncomfortable lately.
    Alan: Thanks for asking G2 you horses ass. No my underpants are fine. It’s dealing with plonkers like you that has me upset.
    G2: Ah, I see. Well as for the football Alan how are you feeling about the progress the club has made after nearly 4 years under you?
    Alan: Piss off you little curmudgeon. The club is fine. The players are fine. The coaches are top notch. Take my pal Johnny C. for example. He gives me nothing but the most useful advice. I caught him sobbing a little yesterday if I’m honest but he said he had a head cold.
    G2: That’s wonderful Alan. So we can look forward to many more wins with you as manager then?
    Alan: Don’t go there G2. I’m about ready to tear your little pin head off at the shoulders.
    G2: Well thanks again for these very valuable insights Alan. I’ll let you get back to whatever you actually do for the club now.
    There you have it mates. A clear look at what’s happening with the club. 😯


  36. He paid a hell of a lot more to get rid of Fat sam and his 30 odd strong back room team, Than it would cost to pay off Pardew. I personally think its reluctantance to go from a stooge on £500k a year to a proven coach on £3m-£4m a year who would want assurances and make demands.


  37. Has Tory Boy not been on to tell everyone how he predicted all this in preseason, and that he knew Percy wouldn’t be sacked yet and how we are all in the clueless club.
    I know he was struggling to pull those rubber pants up over his ample waist, but it would appear he has fell asleep in his laundry basket yet again.
    Either that or he is writing a new 25 page letter to his brother 😕


  38. So the question has to be, will Parsnip change anything for the Swansea match ❓
    Will he introduce some of the yoof lads that are just chomping at the bit to help him out of this hole ❓
    Or does he stick with the same tried and tested bollix, that has failed him so spectacularly ❓ 4-2-3-1 anyone ?
    Should the Lads practice taking corners and free kicks this week or not ❓
    Is there any chance of a flukey win on Saturday or are we living in hope ❓
    Can Percy Parsnip do anything to turn things round from this point ❓
    Would a convincing win against Swansea keep him here until xmas ❓
    Would we be happy with that ❓
    Have we become the new Blackburn Rovers, with the “sack Pardew” campaign ❓
    Is the club in a complete and utter shambolic mess, rotten to its very core ❓
    Will a change of manager save us from our fate ❓


  39. BB – He will try and change things for Swansea and he will probably go two up top but I think that’s a mistake against Swansea as they’re sharp on the break and will cut through our midfield two. But I think Pardew is at the point now where he just doesn’t care and will try anything – what has he got to lose?


  40. But Stuart, the time to try that was against Stoke surely.
    He should have sent us out all guns blazing for goals, and Stoke would have collapsed as they were under their own pressure at home.
    Instead he let them come at us and tried to contain them at a slow meandering pace until they inevitably scored. Then we upped the tempo and tried to come back, without luck or success.
    So we lost a crucial match that IMHO we could and should have been able to win.
    I can’t help thinking he is just waiting for his pay off. It just makes no sense.
    None of it.


  41. so if we go 4-4-2 against Swansea and still lose, he will be able to point the finger back and say he did what the fans wanted and it never worked.
    Its never his fault.


  42. BBB – It is as clear as anything that both men won’t act as it will cost each other a lot of money. They’re only bothered about themselves, not NUFC and that’s the sad but about it all. Pardew knows he’s finished – he just looked completely deflated. I actually think he’s decided he can’t take the team forward but he won’t give up his pay off.


  43. Two greedy gets in a face off is what we have now and as usual it’s the fans who suffer. I keep seeing 95% of fans want Pards out in polls so wy can’t those 95% just stay away from games until the owner sees sense or ****s off.


  44. Worst team in 2014 on points. Worst team to watch in 2014 by a country mile. Even a West Ham side managed by Fat sam are playing better football. Sad, sad times for our club. Pardew has to go and quickly!

    A few players need dropping as well. I’d be playing Cisse, Armstrong, Obertan and Ameobi ahead of Rivière, Cabella, Sissoko and Gouffran.

    4-4-1-1 back to basics.



  45. I’m watching the City v Roma game and can’t for the life of me work out why we have allowed Mapou to go out on loan – AND PAY 80% OF HIS WAGES BY THE WAY!!!!.
    The kid hasn’t put a foot wrong so far tonight and he’s up against Aguero and Dzeko!!.
    He’s showing pace, leadership and very good positional sense. He and Manolas have been excellent.

    Can’t believe we’ve been left with Colo, Willo and Saylor while Mapou is doing so well for Roma! – what a **** up 👿


  46. The fact Mbiwa is doing so well at CB for Roma should really open Ashleys eyes. Here is a player Pards in his wisdom deemed unfit to grace our CB slot , shoving him to RB then complaining he wasn’t up to it, yet he happily keeps faith in a captain who though once good has now clearly lost pace. Factor in the fact that Colo often has to cover for Willo when he goes wandering, meaning he ends up out of position and we see mistakes a plenty. It can only be money that keeps Pards in a job because even Ashley isn’t daft enough to think he’s doing a decent job anymore.


  47. Stu – I don’t know if you’re watching the game, but based on tonight alone I can understand why Carr would be annoyed!. But I know Mapou has been picking up MOTM awards for Roma as well so I don’t think tonight is a fluke.
    Like I say mate, to loan him out is bad enough, but to be picking up 80% of his wage at the same time is just crazy!.
    He could and should be starting for us every week – but poor Pardew is unable to manage him so Roma pick up a bargain.


  48. Kim – Mapou is there organizing the defence and midfield in front of him – a leader and dare I say captains performance from the lad. The very thing we desperately lack in our defence.
    It’s amazing what can happen to a player when a manager puts faith in you and plays you in the correct position. He looks a different player.


  49. Boots – completely true though mate. Other than the penalty conceded my Maicon I really can’t think of many – if any times where the Roma keeper had to make a save to be honest.


  50. just cut this sentence from the BBC sport website:
    Roma defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, who is on loan from Newcastle, kept Edin Dzeko quiet.
    That would be one of the best current Premier League strikers, yet Percy cant play him in our line up.
    Just beggars belief.


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