There’s a saying in project work “On time, to the required spec or under budget. Which 2 do you want?” The implication being that projects are easy so long as you are willing to accept compromise.
I recently worked on a project in the jungles of Myanmar that could be best described as “a bit of an eye opener”. When I arrived on site the project was already over budget, most of the equipment was incorrectly spec’d and with only 2 months to go to project delivery we were 6 months behind.
The conversation at the first client meeting went along the lines of “which none do you want?”
Over the last few years we have seen a number of, if we are honest, pretty poor managers passing through SJP.
What have they lacked? Or more precisely what have they actually had?
OK then. What SHOULD they have had to be successful?
I have always thought of it as just 3 things.
- The equipment. Without the right players, backroom staff and support facilities there’s no point in even turning up.
- The technical expertise. I’ll clarify this as tactical nous. The ability to analyse the problem and come up with a solution on match day.
- Man Management Skills. Separate from the rest, just the ability to manage and motivate the players and staff.
First of all, what brought this on?
Well – it appears that the natives are restless at Crystal Palace and Alan Pardew has just been installed as the favourite in the current EPL Sack Race. Apparently the honeymoon period is over and, having spent a fortune during the transfer window Pards’s performance is not meeting with the expectations of, well, anyone really.
Are we surprised? Not I!.
In my book I have Pardew down as a motivator.
Motivators come in and make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy, which is reflected in an all too brief improvement in performance. Players punching above their weight, unexpected levels of performance from teams that realistically should be mid table at best.
It’s simply belief and a bit of luck. Pardew did in 2011-2012 and Ranieri did it last season with Leicester City.
The trouble with motivators is that their influence is transient and before you know it you are back where you started, which is not a good thing as your motivator was invariably brought in because you were in trouble.
Glen Roeder and Chris Hughton were motivators. This explains why they appeared to do well at first but it was a fleeting respite from the underlying issues – an absence of one of those other two requirements.
Motivators are brought in when the team is in need of a shakeup. When the manager has lost the dressing room.
Following a Shearer focussed brain fart of monumental proportions, Ruud Gullit lost the dressing room, the plot completely and subsequently his job. His replacement was an exceptional motivator by the name of Bobby Robson. Sir Bobby was not just your average motivator – he was in possession of the full set, something sadly lacking from his successors.
After Robson we ended up with Souness, a legend in his own mind who was not so much a motivator as an aggravator. Souness’s inability to man manage is said to have been responsible for Craig Bellamy, Lauren Robert, Olivier Bernard and Jermain Jenas all moving on prematurely – talent which at the time we could ill afford to lose.
To try to find the dressing room again, in comes another motivator in the form of Glenn Roeder. Typical motivator good start, finishing 7th with Shearer as assistant manager, and even a trophy to follow- OK not a real one – but then the motivators curse kicked in again as warm and fuzzy faded and we were back looking up at the competition as usual.
After a very brief fling with Allardyce and Keegan (again) the planets fell out of alignment, an intellectual ice age enveloped the North East and we somehow ended up with Joe Kinnear running things.
Remember the project management analogy when we kicked off? Joe Kinnear is the Newcastle United equivalent of my Myanmar project. Management requirements? Pick any none.
Time for another motivator. Chris Hughton.
Hughton has to be viewed in a slightly different light. He took over a team which had just experienced the equivalent of being walked into the North Sea by King Canute. “Don’t worry boys! I’ll sort those waves out!” Nevertheless – a team that should never have gone down was somehow in the second tier of English football, with a wage bill that could have paid the combined salaries of half the teams with them in the league.
We were always going to go straight back up. We would have bounced straight back up with Kinnear’s milkman in charge.
Yes, Hughton did bring us straight back up but I suspect his record since vindicates both my accusations of motivationalisation (-ismistics?) and the decision by Ashley to replace him with a more experienced manager for survival in the Prem. Hughton by nature is a motivator, and as such his inspirational half-life had probably expired by the time he got us promoted.
In comes Pardew. A little bit of rearrangement, a shedload of Euros spent and a place in Europe follows, but the elation is short lived as we again drift into a dearth of anything resembling ability, effort and the will to live.
The Curse of the Motivator – coming to a stadium near you!
Steven Gerrard recently stated that from a tactical viewpoint Rafa Benitez is the best manager he has ever worked with. Is this like saying Clarkson is the best Top Gear host we’ve ever seen? What’s the competition like?
Are we getting carried away with Rafa’s brilliance just a little prematurely?
I have no doubt we will be up there with the big boys come next August. The question will then be will Ashley be willing to finance a serious charge on the Prem, or will Rafa be replaced with another cardboard cut out?
Just seen the Shearer statue. It looked more like him when it was covered!!!
Interesting article Rob. Well done. We will go back up and Benitez won’t be replaced. Not sure how it will end but I suspect it will be mid table or higher.
georgio(Quote)
Saw the Shearer statue too. What’s with all of the dippy fans claiming that if you Google “Shearer goal celebration” and look at images that every one of them shows an open hand? Like hell it does…try it!
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
Looks nowt like Shearer… fact..
Munich Mag(Quote)
See it from certain angles and it does. But the rags love to stir up **** and show you the images where it looks odd…
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
TDS: I don’t think it is the papers are **** stirring. The statue has a resemblance to Shearer but doesn’t look like him. Plus, most of his goal celebrations were with an open hand but not the one that the sculptor modeled his off. That’s OK, it would be forgotten if the face on the statue was better.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Time to chop the head off, remodel it and replace it.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
I can see the resemblance in a few of the angles.
Cheers for the thread Rob. A different take on the managerial history of the Toon and some good points. I’m not sure Hughton was on the cusp of a downward spiral though. He was doing a good job with us.
As for Pardew, I’ve moved on. Could not care less about the subject although I’m sure Troy will pipe up at some point to take issue with you. No doubt he’ll catch a few tiddlers in the process.
Shamrock(Quote)
Shearer did both celebrations open hand and finger point, but the issue is the face really, it’s clear it’s him but not the best likeness I’ve seen .
Interesting read Rob, though I thought Hoots was a good manager not just a motivator, wasn’t happy to see him go and certainly not happy with his replacement.
Thought Troy would of taken you to task by now mate 😉
kimtoon(Quote)
I am more concerned with Moyes now. He needs some psychiatric help as as I said on the last thread he thinks he was a striker away from winning the league with Everton. Probably thought he did a good job with Man U as well and that Sunderland will stay up.
I disagree that Pards is only a motivator. I really think he considers himself a tactician and defensive guru. What he ends up doing is molding his teams in his own image. He then alienates some of his players by playing them out of position and falling out with some of them, eventually losing the dressing room and going on one of his patented death spirals. With the addition of Tomkins, Townsend and Benteke he has the chance for a temporary reprieve because they are good players. However, I still think their squad is a bottom six squad so they would struggle even with a good manager.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
for a qtr of a million i would expect a better likeness,ime a bit like Sham ime past talking about gobshite Pardew
icedog(Quote)
Not the best likeness perhaps. But I’m certain I couldn’t do any better sculpting it. And I’ve seen a lot of these sculptures that don’t look the way I thought they would, so perhaps it’s just really hard to sculpt an accurate likeness from all angles? Light must be different off a face, with different shadows, a softer surface and different shades and colours on a face.
I’ve never seen an accurate likeness in a sculpture I think…so I’m thinking it’s pretty much impossible.
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
I don’t think Benitez will make that many changes for QPR. He has said that the centre backs don’t need to expend as much energy as others on the team so he may keep them in place for continuity. My guess is:
Sels
Anita MBemba Lascelles Lazaar
Ritchie Hayden Shelvey Perez
Gayle
Mitro or Murphy
Eric Sykes(Quote)
TDS: you weren’t paid 250k to get a good likeness though 🙂
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Also agree about Pardew. Not interested. Only a few managers of note in the last few decades really. SBR and KK for being absolute legends, Hoots for being a gent and getting us promoted and JFK for being the most shocking appointment in living memory. All others have been bang average or a bit worse. Hoping Rafa can be added to one of the first 2 lists…ideally the first!
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
I would like to see The Chron or Ed (he gets a lot of hits) run a poll to ask if 1) the statue is a good likeness of Shearer, and 2) should the head be replaced?
Eric Sykes(Quote)
off with his head 😀
kimtoon(Quote)
Sir Bobby’s statue is a very good likeness
kimtoon(Quote)
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1E7y3DIMBDU/T6jEYS-_-qI/AAAAAAAAFYA/r1V3suhMEH0/s1600/d12-05-07%2BSBR%2BStatue%2B%25284%2529.jpg
I would argue that image (which is the very first one that appears via Google) doesn’t look much like SBR at all.
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
There is a history of bad sports statues, see below. The Southampton Chairman one is terrible as is Ronaldo’s:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/8821909/Sports-worst-statues-in-pictures.html?image=9
Eric Sykes(Quote)
TDS. I was thinking more the original one at Ipswich mate than the SJP one
kimtoon(Quote)
http://l7.alamy.com/zooms/7febdd3a1d284598b4d78f1f27df26c2/bobby-robson-football-manager-statue-d73jhd.jpg
kimtoon(Quote)
I’m with Eric. Kim, Google it and you see a real mixed bag of images of that one too. One or two you can see the likeness but many of them don’t look anything like him.
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
The easiest way to see the bad statues in that Telegraph link is to click on the thumbnails on the right.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
TDS: it doesn’t make the Shearer one any better and I think they could get a much better likeness. The fact that people are taking the **** out of it says a lot. I DON”T THINK THAT WAS THE ARTIST’S INTENTION.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
how about jimmy hill’s
http://natterfootball.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Jimmy-Hill-statue.jpg
kimtoon(Quote)
Eric
I just think that some people are hard-wired to take the ****. Most of what I saw was about the celebration. And it was blamed on the club even more bizarrely! Just seems that any excuse to pick on the club (and Mike Ashley) is pounced on. Like there aren’t enough reasons to criticise Mike Ashley already…
It’s a pretty cool statue and everyone knows that it’s Shearer. It looks a lot like him from certain angles. I challenge anyone to find (or make) a statue that looks a lot like a person from all angles
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
Here’s my Alan Shearer statue head replacement. Can I have my 250k now?
http://www.chiabarackobama.com/
Eric Sykes(Quote)
http://static0.7sur7.be/static/photo/2011/5/14/2/20111209213110/media_xl_4514177.jpg
Thierry’s face close up
kimtoon(Quote)
TDS: since you are in the South why don’t you pop in to Madame Tussauds. Admittedly, some are not that great but some are very, very close likenesses. There are lines outside every day so they must get some right.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Kim, that photo of the Henry statue reminded me of the humanoid alien in Prometheus for some reason!
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
Eric
Some are good there I admit. But they have the advantage of colour, lighting of choice and a softer texture.
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
I think it’s gotta be pretty tricky getting a really good likeness in bronze or whatever it is. It’s difficult enough with paint or pencil. That essence of a persons face, something in their eyes or smile. It can be gotten horribly wrong in the wrong hands.
kimtoon(Quote)
😆 I remember when a critic said Rolf Harris painting of the queen looked like a butchers wife, what ever that means. I’m guessing it wasn’t meant kindly , but why a butchers wife? are they generally ugly, seems harsh like.
kimtoon(Quote)
Where was that waxworks place that was in the press a few years back due to all the waxworks being rank.
kimtoon(Quote)
I watched some short documentary on Madame Tussauds once and they do every strand of hair one by one. They will also replace a head if the likeness is obviously off. I think that is what they should do with Shearer. No need to replace the whole thing like that Southampton statue. I have given my chiapet version above and expect my 250k from Freddy by return post.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Kim, I wonder if that critic was ever heard of again…can’t imagine many people taking too kindly to that in this country!
I’ve heard of “fit as a butcher’s dog”…but I’m guessing he didn’t mean that! Are butcher’s wives supposed to eat loads of red meat or something? Weird…
Either way, I reckon it’s bloody hard to sculpt an accurate likeness. In fact, I’d say it’s impossible to do it in a way that looks great in all light and from all angles.
ToonDarnSarf(Quote)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2016246/Dud-ringers-Are-worlds-worst-waxworks.html 😆
kimtoon(Quote)
Also, if they make big Al’s head a chiapet it will have the other benefits. He will have his own permanently growing hair without resorting to Rooney plastic surgeons and birds can nest in it.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
TDS, I’m inclined to agree mate, actually his painting of the queen was pretty nice I thought, shame he turned out to be a paedophile 🙁 Guess his portrait of her is in storage now.
kimtoon(Quote)
Aye a pair of magpies maybe .
kimtoon(Quote)
Poor Robs article has been hi-jacked.
kimtoon(Quote)
Kimtoon: they should donate that one of Sharon Stone to Sullivan and Gold to put outside the Olympic/London Stadium as it looks like a sex doll. Not that I would have any familiarity with sex dolls mind.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
60/40 split in favour of the open hand by my calculations.
Andy The Magpie(Quote)
We get the Keys and Gray show over in the US and they interview some tabloid “journalists” such as John Cross of the Daily Mail. NBC also have Neil Ashton formerly of the Mail, now of the Sun on every week. Jesus Christ these people are as bad on TV as they are in print. They never have anything worthwhile to say, just conjecture and tittle-tattle. No wonder the tabloids resort to showing WAGS in bikinis when this is the quality of their “journalists”. They make Lee Ryder look cerebral.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Cross of The Mirror, sorry.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
NUFC.com think the Shearer statue model was Russ Abbot.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Anyone watching this Scum match? 0-0 so far.. Hoping for an Everton win. Watmore seems to be a canny player for the mackems like…
Dubai Toon(Quote)
Bottom 3 at the moment are Stoke, mackems and Southampton… All play in red and white stripes… 😯 😯 😯
Dubai Toon(Quote)
DT: hopefully I don’t jinx it but I think the Mackems are in trouble. Januzaj runs down blind alleys and always wants a touch too many. Watmore is tidy but I don’t see him scoring many, and who needs a non-scoring forward? And, I can’t see Defoe duplicating last year at age 34.
I just don’t see where their goals will come from.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Yeah LaEric, I think you’re right… I think they will struggle this year…
Dubai Toon(Quote)
Everton had the best of first half but both a bit .. Meh! I like Bolasie, think he was a good buy for the blues. He stands out so far
Dubai Toon(Quote)
I have watched him a few times, and I don’t think Watmore is a PL player either. I think he has a lot of endeavor and is direct but he doesn’t have the technique or real ability. Maybe a few years ago before all of this money allowed even the small teams to take their pick from abroad.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Get in. Now let’s do even more damage to their goal difference. Fckin Everton, rolled over a let Fat Sam scratch their belly last year in the same fixture.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Cue exodus from the SOL, bets fans in the North East.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Can we start a collection for the fly past please?
MACKEMS BACK IN OUR SHADOW – MAGS
DJG(Quote)
It’s going to be very sweet trading places with them next summer.
Shamrock(Quote)
*** THE THIRD GOAL!!! Pick that one out you SMBs. Start the banger and drive back to Peterlee. 😆
DJG(Quote)
😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 scum, oh dear
kimtoon(Quote)
Still think scum and palace will be two of the 3 that drop
kimtoon(Quote)
Ha ha ha… Oh dear.. Well Moyes did say they were in a relegation battle already. Get in..! Great result. 3-0. Great result. Bolasie looked a great player today. I’m so sad for those SMN’s (can you feel the sarcasm?)
Dubai Toon(Quote)
comeback game
Lee Ryder Verified account
@lee_ryder
Couple of nice early touches from Haidara down the left. #nufc have made a positive start to the game.
u23’s 1.1 v Stoke
kimtoon(Quote)
What hope do they have when the have “Joe the budgie” playing for them… Or should that be Djilobudji? 😯 😳
Dubai Toon(Quote)
Lee Ryder Retweeted
Alan Shearer @alanshearer · 9h9 hours ago
Honoured to have my statue unveiled today in Newcastle. Thanks to everyone for their support during my career.
kimtoon(Quote)
Miles Starforth
@milesstarforth
Rafa Benitez on form: ‘My message is clear. Nothing is done yet. Everything can change in one month.’ #nufc
kimtoon(Quote)
Sorry.. A bit drunk tonight. ?
Dubai Toon(Quote)
Sham: its that banner, man. How can you be so smug when you avoided relegation by the skin of your teeth (and by the grace of Everton)? Sometimes you feel you shouldn’t really be cruel to them because after all they do live in Sunderland, but then they get all uppity.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
meltdown
http://www.sunderlandecho.com/live/event?1366584
kimtoon(Quote)
Chris Waugh @ChrisDHWaugh · 9h9 hours ago
Benitez on Shearer: “He deserves this statue – he is a #nufc legend. Hopefully we will see on of our players scoring as many goals as him!”
kimtoon(Quote)
That has to be one of the worst second half performances I have seen since ours at Citeh last year. Lukaku could have had 5 easily. There is not a single Sunderland player tonight who looked PL quality, even Defoe who had an off night.
What the hell is it with these Everton next big things always getting over hyped as well? It looks like Barkley might be going the same way as Rodwell. At least Koeman has recognised it.
Eric Sykes(Quote)
Poor Sunderland display. Especially the second half. Moyes has his hands full. I don’t think he’ll be there at the end of the season. They are a disaster.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
As for Pardew, who really cares? He is poor. His record reflects it. He usually has a brief honeymoon period and then the roof falls in, as it did here and elsewhere. Not good enough for the Prem. Will end up out of a job like Moyes and wor very own Steve McShambles.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Eric, Defoe was just marked out of the game, apart from the left foot chance he put over the bar. Good teams will just realise that he’s their main hope and act accordingly.
DJG(Quote)
Good read but a topic I’ll probably avoid given my recent whinge 😆 Let’s just say the majority of our former managers have been very suspect eh. I’ve not agreed with everything Rafa has done, and as I said yonks ago prior to us signing him when it seemed very unlikely – I do think he’s overrated by some Liverpool fans – but no question he’s a class above what we’re used to. Promotion is the first step in the journey, let’s see how he can ride the wave of optimism and see if he can build something successful…
Newkie(Quote)
Oh, and how bad were Sunderland by the way? They are gone for certain this season, if only because they won’t be getting a free 4/6 points from us 😆
Newkie(Quote)
TDS can talk all he likes about texture, light, etc but in my mind that’s a really poor sculpture. I’ve seen the one finger salute a few times but only a few and the vast majority were the open hand. Saw the video last year of him chipping a ball by the swimming pool and he ran off in mock celebration. Open hand.
3 points tonight and we’re more than on the way.
georgio(Quote)