“He is like me when I was 37 or 38!” – Ex-Chelsea striker launches brutal attack on NUFC player

After watching him during Saturday’s FA Cup defeat at St James’ Park, former Chelsea striker Tony Cascarino believes Joselu is the ‘least mobile centre forward in the country’.

In his latest piece for the Times, the Irishman even said it was like watching himself when he was ’37 or 38′ – suggesting he was anything but impressed by the Spaniard.

Josely takes plenty stick – and some of it I see on social media is below the belt and despicable – but he really isn’t good enough. Saturday was yet another example of just how much we tend to struggle when he’s up top.

Here’s what Cascarino has had to say when reflecting on Saturday’s game:

“Joselu is the least mobile centre forward in the country and just highlights how little depth this Newcastle United squad has.



“He is like me when I was 37 or 38. The Spanish striker, 28, was poor again in their 2-0 defeat against Watford, who made 11 changes to their starting line-up.

“You know you’re in trouble when your opponents name a second-string team and you still can’t get near them.

“The lack of quality in Rafa Benítez’s squad is mind-boggling and you have got to feel sorry for those 50,000 supporters who turn up to St James’ Park week in, week out to watch their team lose.”

A part of me feels sorry for Joselu. He’s put in the firing line in a league that he’s simply nowhere near good enough to play – all because Ashley didn’t back Benitez, leaving him to sign a £5m striker.

Ok, Rafa appears to have signed a player who was never going to perform, even as a back-up option, but in a world where average strikers now cost £15m, Joselu’s goal record of about 4 goals a season is about right!

(Fancy writing for us? Send any articles/ideas over to us at [email protected] & we’ll get back to you!)

About Olly Hawkins

Olly has been a Junior Magpie from birth. As a season ticket holder and avid Newcastle United fan - he eats, sleeps and breathes all things NUFC.

7 thoughts on ““He is like me when I was 37 or 38!” – Ex-Chelsea striker launches brutal attack on NUFC player

  1. Exactly. Don’t blame the sow because you can’t make a silk purse out of her ear. She’s not even going to hear you complain, not now, anyway.

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  2. I agree with you Tony but it just emphasises how much rebuilding needs to be done. Not only do we need about 4 or 5 players for the first team we need about 6 more to make the squad strong enough to cover injuries etc. For years managers have told the media that we needed about 4 or 5 players and then we let more players leave making the squad weaker year by year.
    Even if a buyer did come along and pay the £300m to buy the club it would take another 3 years investment of about £100 to sort out the chaff and get things into order. So I believe that is why the club has not been sold, we aren’t just talking £300m.

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  3. I have been a Newcastle supporter since 1950 I live in Switzerland. I have never seen such a pathetic center forward ever .
    He would never play for a school team let alone the wonderful Newcastle what has become of getting good.players.
    Just to say I was friendly with Jackie Milburn i’ Sure he would turn in his grave seeing this so called footballer .

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  4. Overdoing it a bit on Cascarino guys he only scored 8 goals for Chelsea. I would class him as ex Gillingham and Millwall forward.
    My point is as bad as Joselu is I don’t think some headline hugging second rarer needs to be taken seriously

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  5. I have got to laugh, I am a scottished based toon fan and remember Cascarino at Celtic.

    Oh my god he was worse than Joselu so he has a cheek commenting on anyone !!!!

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  6. Sorry David but I cannot believe there has ever been a worse center Forward than Joselu. The bloke is a total waste of space and should not be allowed to wear a Newcastle top

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