Simon Jordan had a fantastic record of managerial appointments. He always broke the mould. His history of managers were forward thinking greats who went on to rock the footballing world with their fantastic tactics and ideas such as Steve Coppell, Alan Smith, Trevor Francis, Steve Kember, Iain Dowie and, of course, Steve Bruce.
Hopefully, you are aware of the sarcasm dripping from that first paragraph and you have picked up on my complete disdain for Simon Jordan, and his most recent word vomit on TalkSport just added to it.
He will claim that my hatred for him spurs from him “telling it like it is” and the fact that I’m a “deluded Geordie”, but no, I hate the man because he thinks that his stupidity is worthy of anything, because he happened to have enough money at one time to buy a football club.
I think Mike Ashley is absolute proof that you don’t have to be a football person to own a football club. And Jordan, despite once being a young footballer and claiming he was “good enough to be a professional”, isn’t a football person.
I hate this man because the reasons behind his ridiculous opinions are clear for all to see; from xenophobia about Rafa’s “Spanish mouth” to apparently not being biased with Bruce because they fell out one time.
What’s hilarious about Jordan’s outburst here, is that he expects us to listen and take in his in-depth views on Newcastle while simultaneously admitting that he doesn’t actually watch us enough to give a detailed opinion and, best of all, confusing Jamie Carragher with Gary Neville.
I know their north of London, Simon, and have funny voices but I’m not sure how you expect us to consider you as someone “in the know” when you can’t even distinguish between the pundits?
As much as I disagreed with Gary Neville’s sentiments on Monday night, I would much rather listen to him or Jamie Carragher talk about football because I know, for the most part, that they have an idea about what they’re talking about.
The crux of Jordan’s inane and floppy haired argument is that the players aren’t good enough and Bruce, being the “very decent football manager” that he is, can’t “polish a turd”.
Well Simon, it may surprise you know that these turds looked pretty shiny under Rafa Benitez and pretty shiny under the previous managers they were with before coming to play under Bruce; and that was without the millions of pounds worth of polisher afforded to your good mate.
Before I continue, here’s Simon’s latest attempt to deflect the blame from ‘Brucie’:
I’ve spoken at length about this before but the fact remains that Steve Bruce is a statistically bad manager with a bad track manager who is currently managing players that are above his level (well… he’s doing his best to drag them down to his level).
Players like Lewis who was linked with Liverpool, Longstaff linked with Man U, and numerous other players who have had better days than now, have proven that they are worth more than what Steve Bruce is currently making them. For heaven’s sake, Jamal Lewis was well sought after and highly rated, playing for a club that finished bottom of the Premier League!
By the way, Simon, you can’t claim at the beginning of your waffle that you were talking to your good friend about the football and then claim at the end that you aren’t saying all of this based on friendship because you once had a disagreement with him. You’ve clearly sorted that out now because you’re talking to him on the phone. So, he is your mate and you are defending pure because of that reason…
Alan Shearer, a friend of Bruce, recently commented on the poor show of Newcastle this season and made it clear that he doesn’t speak to Bruce about Newcastle anymore. It’s a shame because Shearer’s voice and reason could be helpful, but I understand it.
Simon Jordan, a friend of Bruce, has now commented on the poor show of Newcastle this season and made it clear that he does speak to Bruce about Newcastle…
Given that Bruce’s words in the media have been lowkey blaming the players for our shortcomings at every point, I wouldn’t be surprised in the least, if Simon Jordan has just given us a snapshot of Bruce’s real feelings about his tenure here.