Happy Birthday Gabriel Obertan!

Shamrock

Today is Gabriel Obertan’s 27th birthday, so lets put aside our frustrations with the man and wish him all the best! Whilst he has our attention, lets take a little stroll down memory lane with the Frenchman.

Born in Pantin, France – a young Obertan would become a product of the much celebrtaed Clairefontaine academy – which has produced the likes of former Toon players Hatem Ben Arfa, Sabasten Bassong, Louis Saha and Thierry Henry. Yeah we wish… He continued his schooling of excellence within the Paris-Saint Germain set up before making his mark at Bordeaux from 2006 to 2009. This period included a short loan at Lorient before his searing pace caught the attention of none other than Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United, whom Gabby turned out for between 2009 and 2011. His career did not take off at the higher echelon of football and that is when he found his way to us.

Alan Pardew’s Newcastle United saw something in Obertan at Premier League level that Manchester United did not – and promptly shelled out somewhere in the region of £3m for the French flyer. It took him 5 months to register his first Toon goal – in February 2012 – latching onto a Peter Lovenkrands ball and firing home during a 2-o victory over Blackburn Rovers. It would take Obertan 3 years in total to register a goal at St. James’ Park – scoring on October 18, 2014 with the winner against Leicester City F.C.

Gabby represented France at all youth levels, but could never make the jump to the senior side. This will be explained by a number of factors – such as an extensive history of injuries involving his hamstrings and more importantly his lack of footballing intelligence. It has been a frustrating time for Gabby here at the Toon. He has such raw pace whilst his work ethic and professionalism has never been in doubt. The sad truth is, he is just not cut out for it at this level. His indecisiveness means he appears to get himself into good positions when running with the ball – but when it comes to releasing it – the ball will find itself more often than than not flying wide of the target or failing to reach a teammate in goal scoring position.

Here is an example of one of Obertan’s best moments for Newcastle United;

Unfortunately, this example from his Manchester United days should have been all Alan Pardew needed to know before deciding whether to sign him or not;

Gabriel Obertan has represented out club 77 times, scoring 3 goals and registering 10 assists in about 4-and-a-half years. That’s roughly 17 appearances a season, mostly from the bench – in which he has directly contributed just shy of 3 goals a season. It’s fair to say it’s not worked out here at the Toon and with his contract running down this summer – we will be waving ‘Au Revoir’. In the meantime though, lets just simply wish the man best wishes on his birthday.

About Shamrock

Like everyone here, support Newcastle United. Not the easiest side to feel good about at times, but it's our side!

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248 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Gabriel Obertan!”

  1. he’s obtaining money under false pretenses.

    as for his birthday – he’s been having one everyday for past 4+ years.

    on yer way ➡

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  2. On a purely stats basis he’s actually about the same as Jonas who’s a bit of a legend. He was definitely maligned sometimes, (he’s not playing for us now and we’re as bad as I can ever remember 😆 ) but he was never going to be good enough for us and I remember saying so when we signed him. A player with some skill and good physical attributes, but completely lacking in confidence/a brain.

    Happy birthday, please find yourself a new club Gabs 🙂

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  3. I bet red nose is still laughing for screwing us over,Ime with ROY &1 say no more.

    but thanks for SHAM for the good work you do for the blog,would be lost without you mate

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  4. This is Pardew’s one and only signing so I’ll be careful what I say because I don’t want to upset Troy 😉 Troy probably thought Alan know’s what his doing and Obertan would be the next Luis Figo. Obertan’s got great pace and now I’m really struggling to find anything positive to say about him. I agree with Roy about Obertan having a birthday, everyday for the last 5 years.

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  5. newkie

    you can make a player out to be anything you want using stats.

    but the use of the naked eye tells you the truth – this bloke is utter shyte.

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  6. Ba was Pardew’s signing as well Terry, not like we needed Carr to scout him.

    Roy – I know mate, I liked Jonas for his graft and the fact he was a funny guy, I was just making the point in response to Shamrock’s stats where both their records, offensively, are pretty woeful for wingers IMO.

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  8. Newkie I never knew that Ba was one of Pardew’s signing’s ❓ I have known people on here in the past giving Carr credit for signing him. Pardew signed Ba for free and he turned out to be the signing of the season. Newkie I don’t understand why Carr has so much power when it comes to signing player’s ? Perez and Gouffran were cheap in fairness and have achieved what you would expect for players that cheap. SDJ good at AJAX yes but has been injured most of the time his been here. Riviere 6 million and couldn’t hit a barn door if he tried. Carbella run’s around the pitch like a headless chicken. Thauvin well I suppose the club had 13 million to waiste. Why do we need Carr is a very good question ?

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  9. Roy – I still think fans gave him too much stick to begin with, I didn’t think he’d ever make it but personally I don’t agree with slagging a player off right away, everyone needs some time to settle to see what they can do. Some of our fans have turned on a number of players, like Simpson, who are now doing a hell of a lot better than what people expected of them (Championship/league 1 footie I seem to remember…)

    That being said, I don’t see that happening for Squidward 😆

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  11. I liked Danny Simpson Newkie. He was another good buy from the club imo. His done a remarkable job at Leicester this season.

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  12. I still don’t understand why we needed Dennis Wise or the return of Joe Kinnear. It seem’s to me the board are trying to be to clever but just make a complete mess of things.

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  13. Terry – aye, he was playing in Germany prior to the PL and had been there since before Carr was told to do the rounds at France, and we then picked him up off West Ham when he’d shown what he could do. I don’t see the supposed Carr connection.

    People wanted to make it back when Carr was the popular Geordie messiah some fans crave for. Sadly though, he’s pretty far short.

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  14. newkie

    that’s just the nature of the fans these days – they see them picking the big bucks up & think they should be able to turn it on from the get go.

    but how long do you give these su-standard french (+ 1 or 2 other nationalities) players before vetting your anger – it’s the old fella that should be getting the stick.

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  18. Roy – it’s true, and it’s always harder for a player to settle when the whole side is playing badly, so stick will start from the get go (Mbemba and Gini have already had a fair bit, with Mitro having a lot) imo. Groaning at a match sometimes can’t be helped, but it really doesn’t help players especially ones like Obertan who are totally indecisive already and lacking in confidence. I think you need to give some players a whole season before you can really judge them.

    I’ll hold my hands up and say I judged Best and Perch far too soon – as most of us did. They did decent squad jobs for us. I was a bit gutted to see either of them go to be honest.

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  19. On the last thread (bit late to the party)
    Welcome to the blog 😀
    ‘Andy the Magpie’ sounds rather suspicious to me 😉

    On Gabby
    The lad wasn’t cut out for the Premier League, seems like a decent guy and has huge amounts of speed and skill but he doesn’t have the footballing brain required. Would do a decent job for a championship side (like us) next season.

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  20. i agree newkie.

    regarding carr – don’t suppose it would look or sound very good singing abusive songs to a pensioner like.

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  21. I would also like to welcome Andy the magpie to the blog. I hope you can put up with us moaning about the idiots running the club 😛

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  22. terry

    they’ve gone on the missing list already – think they could be having second thoughts..

    come back toonsy all is forgiven.

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  23. Obertan’s got the skill and the pace but he hasn’t got the magic ingredients – heart and bottle.
    I vividly remember the Everton game two years ago. We were one up, one minute before half time. A free kick was conceded, Baines rifled it towards goal and Obertan, last in line in the wall, ducked and turned out of the way. Goal and we lost 2-1. It would have hit the poor bairn in the chest. Never forgave him – he’s ****.

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  24. Roy surely not mate 😛 No games in 18 day’s, knocked out of all the cups. McClaren looking at the iceburg but don’t worry he will sail us to safety.

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  25. Andy New Guy – decisive no to Forums and don’t overestimate the value of Facebook to users on here. Just keep the quality of writing high, new articles frequent and all will be well. Good luck!

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  26. Georgio I think we have a lot of bad player’s personally myself. The hard part is telling who’s the worst. Last season for example I thought Williamson was our worst player but this season Colocini has been just as terrible. Last season I thought Carbella was terrible and Thauvin comes along and makes him look great. The transfer policy seem’s a bit daft to me.

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  27. Shamrock thank’s for your articles mate. I enjoy reading them and have enjoyed coming on this blog over the years and reading everyone’s comments. I hope the keep this site the same because it’s a really good blog that Toonsy’s created. I am sad to see him go and wish him all the best. I would also like to thank Toonsy and all the rest for the banter with enjoyed together over the years.

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  29. Cheers for the article Newkie regarding our transfer policy. I don’t mind the club bringing in french talent if you call it that but not all the time.

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  30. Cheers, Shamrock. Obertan, pace to burn but no end product due to lack of a football brain imo. Should of taken up athletics really. It’s my birthday on sunday, i’ll be 55 years young 😉

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  31. anyway isn’t gabriel a girls name? nee wonder he plays like a fanny.

    kimtoon

    birthday wishes for this sunday – i’m sure you deserve them a lot more than he does.

    55 – i bet your wondering where the fck they’ve gone.

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  33. Roy, Terry, cheers lads. Aye the older I get the quicker the years wiz by 🙁 Bit like Obertan, quick as lightning but going nowhere 😆

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  35. I’d rather read about Kims birthday than peanut head obertan 😆

    Happy birthday Kim.

    Enjoy your thousands obertan you big girls blouse, hope the club give you a day off 😕

    Has Eric calmed down yet, he put himself on a right spin trying to talk to the Aussies 😛

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  36. I don’t understand footballers like Obertan. He actually pi$$es me off..Has almost everything in his locker but spirit and bottle. He can score, pace to burn and I’m sure he can use his peanut to score…but fails to get stuck in.. what a waste!

    I remember when Harry Fatnapper was talking about tom huddleston being the next big deal at Spurs…only if he’d show more aggression and put himself about a bit more. Huddleston responded by saying that just wasnt him or part of his game 👿 big knacker… that’s why he ended up at hull…

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  39. Gashley – classic case of having no bottle is both Cabella and even more so Thauvin. Complete waste of talent.

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  41. Aye Sham

    its tragic really that theyre so close to being so much better with a little more application.

    Apparently Keane was having ago at Hazard for similar blouseiness the other night. part of the modern game now it seems.

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  43. Sham cheers for the article , but I wont be celebrating his birthday, i’ll save the celebrations untill we can shift him out of the club, as has been said he has pace etc but has no balls , same as you said @ 40 about Sissy they are both gutless with no heart.

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  48. Comedy gold. 😆
    Psychs
    I’ve been away all week and was curious to find out what Gashley was referring to regarding you and the Aussies.
    I think I got a few mentions, sarcastically taking the ****, whilst you were criticising the Aussies for taking the **** out of people. 😆

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  49. Thanks to the new lads. Also thanks to Tony for his efforts over the years. We’ve had our differences, particularly in the early days but he saw sense in the end by letting me stay on the blog. 😆
    Commercially it cost him slightly as I upped my fees, demanding an extra 5p a post but I’m sure he got the benefits back in the insightful comments and contributions I’ve made over to the blog over the years.
    Seriously though, well done Toonsy for your efforts over the years. 😉
    To the new lads, thanks for you contacting me personally and improving my contract. Negotiations were smoother than I predicted. My agent, Stardust, was taken aback when you upped my deal to 10p per post with a bonus for each time Psychs me tons my name. 😆
    This could prove to be very fruitful.
    Thanks for making me chief Administrator with full control over the ban hammer. 😎
    Welcome boys. 😉

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  51. Here Troysta: there’s 10p. I will send you another 10p everytime the Aussies talk about football. That money will be staying in my pocket I think.

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  53. Do you understand the irony of spending every post complaining about how somebody doesn’t talk about football?

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  55. Looking like a double relegation on Ashley’s hands at the moment. Sports Direct could be heading out of the FTSE 100 and we could be heading out of the PL. Somewhat a double blow for him that would be.

    He’s certainly been fighting some pretty hefty fires at SD recently and that could explain why he’s taken his eye off the ball here and allowed this debacle to continue.

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  56. @stu

    it could be said hes never had his eye on the ball until this season when he put his hand in his pocket.

    all these problems are mounting up. it couldnt happen to a nicer guy 😉 shame we’re in the thick of it..

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  57. Sorry BrisV: I must have missed you talking UK football. Not that Aussie stuff that nobody even knows who the teams are. You know this site is about NUFC, right? And Paul Merson’s head.

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  58. its always the worst preforming players who come out after a defeat and tell us what we already know. we were ****!. normally Colo, now its glass-knees Taylor… 🙄

    “We have to learn from it (the Chelsea hammering). We got outclassed all over the pitch,” Taylor admitted.

    “Yes, they had world-class players all over the pitch, but we gave them too much respect.

    “We have to take it on the chin. We have to stand up and be counted now.

    “It’s getting to that stage now – 12 games to go – where we must fight together and pull the same way. (yes.. at the 12 games to go mark we start fighting together) 😳

    “The lads accept responsibility. They took it on the chin after the game and admitted, all over the park, they were better than us.

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  60. @Eric

    Did you know that Mersons head has the same circumference as a child’s space hopper and a davina mcCalls hula hoop!

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  61. Every game is like a cup final when there are only 12 of them! Except there is only one cup final.

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  63. free predictor taster!

    West Ham United v Sunderland 1 – 1
    Leicester City v Norwich City 3 – 0
    Southampton v Chelsea 1- 2
    Stoke City v Aston Villa 2- 0
    Watford v Bournemouth 2- 2
    West Bromwich Albion v Crystal Palace 1 – 2

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  64. The thing about football cliche’s is that the managers know they are saying them but cant help themselves from repeating them. Riviere will be like a new signing.

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  65. Spam 3 Scum 1
    Leicester 2 Norwich 0
    Ston 0 Chelsea 2
    Stoke 1 Villa 0
    Watford 3 Bmth 1
    WBA 1 Palace 0

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  66. We have a commentator over here called Arlo White. He has a footballer’s hair cut. Not quite Paul Pogba, more Jack Grealish. I am not sure why he wants to look like his son. Probably a bit like the Aussies asking for a Paul Hogan with twice the amount of dye in it?

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  70. Like a giant ugly cockney pumpkin that will only get more Harry Creepy Chappy Redknapp orange as it disintegrates into November.

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  74. Why don’y you go on an Australian football blog? Not the ones with the tight shorts, the ones with Brisbane Roar and such?

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