To explain this article before I get going… This is a rough overview of just a few stats and then some gossip and ideas. I’ve divided the strikers into three groups. What we have, who we have been linked with, and few outsiders.
The stats I’m using are career data where available and readily available, I’m far too lazy to do in depth stuff. There is a bit of a profile age, value, gossip etc, then goals per minute. So therefore the lower the number the better. So a figure of under 180 means better than 1 goal every two games, whereas a figure of over 300 means an Ameobi. Sorry about that Shola is actually better than that. The last figure is the assists rate. What this is is the number of assists divided by games played. So not minutes so me being lazy there. This time the bigger the number the better.
So who have we got currently?
Pappis Cisse is 28 has a value (according to transfermarkt) of about £13m scores every 175 minutes and with 21 assists from 268 games that gives a ratio of 0.078. What we need is a partner.
Yoan Gouffran is 27, £6.6m 282mins and 27/317 = 0.085
Gabriel Obertan is 24 £2.2m 415mins and 22/194 = 0.113
Hatem Ben Arfa is 26 £12m 343mins 30/236 = 0.127
Shola Ameobi is 31 £1.8m 276 mins 26/350 = 0.074
Sylvian Marveaux is 27 £2.6m 409mins 25/162 = 0.154
Sammy Ameobi is 21 £2.6m 360 mins 7/61 = 0.114
Adam Campbell is 18 unvalued 182 mins 9/30 = 0.300
So on that basis Papiss Cisse is our best striker with a goal every 175 minutes and Sylain Marveaux has the best assist rate. Adam Campbell has superb figures and should be featuring more often. Whether he is ready to be a regular starter is another matter.
Now for names we have been linked with…
Kevin Gameiro we have been linked with in the past before he took a big money move to PSG, which hasn’t worked out. He is currently not wanted and hence available probably discounted from the £8m+ transfermarkt valuation. He is 26 years old, scores every 194 minutes and has 41 assists from 267 games = 0.153. Whilst he is not the best striker from our big five statistically he is the best in assists by a long way. Up in the Marveaux region. He is described as fast dribbler. Wages may be a problem, he has two years left on his contract and is on about £55kpw.
Bafetimbi Gomis at 27 would normally be expensive at £12.5m but Lyon are keen to sell as they need the money. Gomis has made all the right noises saying that he won’t be forced out etc, however, don’t be surprised if he moves. With a goal every 184 minutes and 36 assists from 370 games = 0.097 he may be the answer. He has been described as Baby Drogba.
Andre-Pierre Gignac also at 27 is a reasonable option at a valuation of £7.5m however with goals at 211 minutes and only 25 assists from 288 games = 0.087 he would not be my choice. He is however described as powerful and dangerous with an aerial presence. Also I know of no gossip that indicates that we may be pursuing him He currently plays for Olympique Marseille.
Loic Remy of course was supposed to be our Christmas Present before he moved to QPR. Available at less than the quoted £8.8m, his wages and court case might prevent us moving for him despite Pardew’s admiration. At 26 his record of a goal every 199 minutes and 24 assists from 243 games = 0.099 are in the right ball park.
Darren Bent is 29 available at well below the £7.9m valuation and a proven EPL goalscorer. With a goal every 182 minutes he is the most prolific of these five players, and with 33 assists from 350 games = 0.094 he is no greedier than the others.
So for me It’s down to who would best suit playing alongside Cisse whose figures surpass all of the above.
Outsiders…
There have been various names mentioned by people on the blog, some of whom I can remember others I can’t so if your favourite is not mentioned please post below.
Brown Ideye at 24 has been mentioned as the next Drogba I think. Anyway at a market value of £9.7m he ain’t a cheap alternative. But with a goal every 180 minutes he looks like someone to match Cisse. And with 32 assists from 219 games = 0.146 his assist rate is very respectable.
Kevin Villand is only 20 so at £7.9m I’m looking for something special. At 215 minutes per goal and 32 assists from 188 games = 0.170 he also looks like a good shout.
My to are Phillip Hosiner from Austria Vienna who at 24 and only £2.2m is a bargain with just 140 minutes per goal and 27 assists from 227 games = 0.119. I would also like to add Angel Correa who at 18 is £2.6m but with a goal every 177 mins and 3 assists from his 11 games = 0.3 he looks a prospect. The other thing I like about him is he plays for San Lorenzo so could be part of any deal with Colo going the other way.
So my choice?
I would have a strike team of Papiss Cisse, Brown Ideye, Phillipe Hosiner, Yoan Gouffran, with Adam Campbell and Angel Correa keeping them honest. However that may be too many for some.
It’s hard to speculate when the summer has been thus far so underwhelming but please feel free to post your thoughts below.
if pardew should faulter then kinnear will save him
stem(Quote)
MM…You can’t be looking forward to watching PEA though surely? you don’t think he’s any good 😉
richietoon(Quote)
MM Fer would have been a good signing but on the other hand midfield is one place we dont need new faces and yeah is gone deadly quiet on Douglas maybe the mighty Hannover have had second thoughts 🙄 😯
Axel(Quote)
I would have loved to have signed Bony like, no good for us though cos he’s too slow according to a few on here like 😉
richietoon(Quote)
joe kinnear has probably got the money off ashley to spend. his not going to panic buy and waste money like souness. what’s worse taking your time and getting the best player at a reasonable price or panic buying.
stem(Quote)
Trouble is they huffed and puffed last summer got nowt in other than Anita then HAD to buy in jan . I see the same situation again as I don’t see anyone decent coming in now ,I don’t consider Bent if he comes a purple ,no disrespect like . Even Remy is damaged goods now, didn’t want us to start with and probs only wants to come now cause no one wants to know with that charge hanging over him. Can’t honestly EVER remember being so disheartened as I am now with the Toons business. Even when we went down I knew I could look forward to us winning a fair few more games and it proved to be an enjoyable season in the end. Just can’t get myself up for the coming season and I really HATE Jabba for that.
KIMTOON(Quote)
Kim…but at least the weathers nice 😎
richietoon(Quote)
Richie , My god ,I’m almost melting ,it’s nudging 30 earlier on today ,too much .I prefer it around 23 much more comfy. Couldn’t even take Lew out as it’s too hot to push the wheelchair up the hill and the cars like an oven on wheels 👿
KIMTOON(Quote)
Richietoon, how did you manage to sneak on here mate ? Is your lass at the gym ? 😆 😆
PEA would have been a great signing for the toon, pity it didn’t come off. The lad is a class act, just watch him go now that he is at a top club…
Agree with Richietoon@154, Bony would have been a great signing for us, but Pardew would have played him at left back.. 🙄
Munich Mag(Quote)
28°C here in Minga…. We’re off to the Ice Cream parlour for a hazelnut Straciatella double wammy…. 😆 ya beauty…. 😀 😀
Munich Mag(Quote)
MM…Soz, couldn’t resist it, I just found your statement a bit bizarre the other day, don’t worry though I just put it down to too much sun and weissbier. 😉
speaking of the gym though, I’ll be off down myself soon followed by a bit of a swim 😕
richietoon(Quote)
MM…Used to love the auld Ice Cream platz’s in Germany, nowt really compares to them over here 🙁
richietoon(Quote)
Yum ,Ice cream ,now there’s an idea 😎
KIMTOON(Quote)
efing unreal ,middle of the transfer season and the inactivity of our club has turned the coversation’s on here to ice cream . I cant take much more of this ,i might turn like GAZZA and chuck mezelf off of a pier 🙄
Axel(Quote)
Have we ever been linked with Andre Ayew? Seems like the type of player we need. Left wing/secondary striker.
Double bid for him and his brother and we could be just about sorted…………Dreaming again 🙄
Oblong(Quote)
i hate mike ashley
stem(Quote)
Remembering back to last summer I would have to repeat no news is bad news. We just aren’t getting it done. So Kinnear is going to show up for work tomorrow? Truly a miracle. Look at the job Hughton is doing for Norwich. With Fer coming in now they have made huge improvements. Are we going to be able to catch them in the standings let alone the top 8? Kinnear is putting a huge and unnecessary amount of pressure on himself by allowing so many decent players to go to other clubs uncontested by us. Who is this new French striker we are supposedly after and how would anyone know that since Joe hasn’t shown up for work yet? More bollocks from the press. 👿
GeordieTwo(Quote)
It will be interesting to see what kind of formation Pardew tries against Motherwell. Surely not 4-4-2? Please, not 4-4-2. We have to have some new tactics Alan. Try 4-3-1-2 with Gouffran and Cisse up front. And try Ben Arfa in behind them. We have to know if this kind of formation suits the players quickly. Come on Alan try it, you might even like the results. And surely we don’t need to lump the ball up the field against these lads? How about some decent buildup play from the midfield no matter who’s in there?
GeordieTwo(Quote)
joe kinnear will be back a week then need another holiday. i think we are relegation candidates, serously? i personally would love to see the back of pardew, kinnear and the fat leach, parasite mike ashley. he say’s his willing to sale for 267 million and the rest.
stem(Quote)
Axel , 😆 they sell ice cream at the end of the pier don’t they 😉
KIMTOON(Quote)
I think we should take a look at our younger players and ask ourselves if they are being brought along properly? Let’s take a look:
Sammeobi: very disappointing last season. He’s 21 now so time to show his stuff. Loaned out to Boro and was decent from what I hear but must show improvement. Needs some weight on in the form of musle.
Fergie: just turned 22 so in the same boat as Sammy. He must do it this coming season or risk falling back down the ladder. One goal in 11 appearances with Birmingham on loan.
Vuckic: turns 21 in August. What can be said, really? Nothing but injuries during our stay with us. Could have been a player with huge impact with his size and power but not so far. Crucial that he have a relatively injury free season.
Inman: turns 22 this December. Had a very decent loan spell at Crewe but keep in mind the quality of the football there. Offered a 1 year contract by us but hasn’t accepted. Another player on the cusp this coming season if he actually stays with us.
Abeid: turning 21 in August. Lots of talk by Pardew about how fantastic this lad is when he first came to us but overall a disappointment in limited playing time. He’s been transfer listed so probably on his way out.
Tavernier: turns 22 in October. Overall another player who has looked disappointing to me. Not going to be Prem standard in my opinion. Probably needs to be moved on to a Championship club.
Dummett: turns 22 in September. Has some real promise. Possibly a squad player but would he actually ever break into our starting 11? Not likely.
These are the oldest of our “promising youngsters”. Overall evaluation? Not very promising and highly unlikely any of them will be good enough to break into the starting 11 with the possible exception of Vuckic if he ever manages to stay healthy. We don’t appear to be doing enough to either improve players or recognize they need moving on, for their own good as much as anything.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2 ,A very good assessment mate you win first prize ,a 99 with nuts on. 😉
KIMTOON(Quote)
Ta Kimtoon lass. I’ll take it every day. 😀
GeordieTwo(Quote)
To those who took exception to my post about the blog. Stop being prissy’s.
I praised the blog and Toonsy in the post but all I asked was for him to refresh the thread more often.
It’s a reasonable request. Many cant access the blog when there’s more than 300 or more posts and there was almost 1000!!
It had been 7 days since a new thread went up.
It doesn’t have to be an epic thread, a bloody headline would do occasionally as that would be better than being able to log onto an old thread.
Praise was given but some only focus on the negative. Oh dear. 😯
Troy Stavers(Quote)
Troy, you can probably guage the mindset by the number of bloggers who agreed with you 🙂
Munich Mag(Quote)
Not to worry Troy mate. We can always entertain ourselves on here. It is a shame about long threads being hard to follow on iphones etc but soon the pre-season will begin and give us more grist for the mill. 😀
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Troy i agree with your thoughts on more threads m8
.
KIMTOON the ice parlour at the end of the pier was closed so i turned aroond and on the way back bought a magnum with almonds 😉
G2 i agree about the younger players ,makes you wonder how good or bad our acadamy is being run and the coaching levels .
Axel(Quote)
Munich mate what do you think of Joe’s performance for us so far? 😆 What would his first evaluation by you be? What about a letter grade? Keep in mind he is a vastly superior person (at least according to him) so he should be graded on a very demanding set of requirements don’t you think? 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Aye Axel mate@177 that’s what I’m worried about as well. It’s difficult spotting and grooming young talent but are we really doing a decent job of it? I have my doubts. 😥
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I have no problems accessing the long threads on my Commodore 64, really don’t see what the problem is
…plus the long threads give us a break from all the pretentious tossers with their iphones 😉 😆
richietoon(Quote)
G2 i would rate kinnear an F at the moment
stem(Quote)
G2…I’m not sure “grooming young talent” is an appropriate subject for a footy blog fella 😯 😉
richietoon(Quote)
G2, where would you like to start mate ? On a count from A – F, with F being the worst, I would say based on what I have seen so far, he is a D at the moment. There again, he has been on holiday for most of his shift 😎 😆 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
Now, now Richie this is a clean wholesome family blog mate. 😆 You’re giving him a D on a scale of A to F Munich lad? I’m giving him a very generous G- thanks to his loveable personality and all the fantastic players he’s already brought in. Going on holiday is just the cherry on top mate. 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
STEM that’s a very fair assessment at this point. Joe looks like he was born for the job doesn’t he mate? 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2, aye mate, a “D” it is at the moment. You know me mate, give a bloke a chance I say, and like I mentioned, the bloke has been on holiday for most of his shift. The only way is up, so they used to say mate….
Richietoon, that must be a niche market down your way mate, a proper Ice cream parlour combined with a Weissbier stand… would go down a blast with the Jaaarmans doon your way ?
Munich Mag(Quote)
Wow Richie you’ve already got the Commodore 64? That is impressive. I’m going to try to outdo you by building my own from a home kit. It’s large and bulky but that’s all part of the attraction. No carrying this little beauty around in your pocket mate. 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2 😆
MM…There’s a few Ice Cream places open on the seafront in the summer, but imo don’t compare, there’s also a couple of German bars and even a “Bratty van” by Aldi’s a few days a week 😎
richietoon(Quote)
Some lads talking about all time best Newcastle United teams. Apparently they don’t know we had a club before 1980! Some shocking picks for an all time best team!! No Jackie Milburn (probably they’ve never heard of him), no Peter Beadsley in many cases, no Supermac even offered as a possibility, no Hughie Gallacher! Unbelievable. And they call themselves supporters??? I’m on there to educate them though. Don’t worry mates. 😀
GeordieTwo(Quote)
G2 grooming young players and then a cherry on top ❗ ❗ 😯 😯 😯 you could get yourself locked up m8
Axel(Quote)
G2@189, get them all put right there mate. That’s the beauty of this blog, us having old gadgies like you and Richietoon to keep the young’uns right 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
Sorry Axel I’ll have to watch that mate! 😆
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Richie never mind a Bratty van just stay clear of Battys van 😀
So I take it there wasnt much Toon news today in the rags? It seems even they find it hard
Big Dave(Quote)
just been on EDs blog for a look G2 is giving them a bloody good lesson on our club and class that graced the hallowed turf . Seriously looks like most on that site these days where at infants school when Keegan returned and put together the entertainers , none of them stood on the leases or gallowgate with no roof above them in the lashing doon rain .
Axel(Quote)
RT@188 – Aldi have a plan to conquer the low budget market. They are all ower europe now. There’s at least 2 in the toon, one at Cowgate that I know of… I’ve been in there, it’s just like the one in wor village… 🙁
Munich Mag(Quote)
MM then them old gadgies have Ice to keep them right
Big Dave(Quote)
Axel, I never go on Ed’s blog. There is too much cut and paste stuff going on… At the same time it’s good that Agent G2 is giving them all a good talking to 😆 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
Aye Axel mate, what are we going to do with these youngsters? They haven’t suffered enough yet I can tell. 😆 Never mind the lesson shall continue with a few determined older lads showing up. Take care mate.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Big D…Icedog is the oracle mate, he has seen the good times, the bad times and the even worse times…. and whereas it gets difficult at times he’s still stays loyal to the cause… 😉 bit like us all mate. Knacker Ned and his merry men won’t break us… 👿
Munich Mag(Quote)
G2, get a few heeds knocked together there big man… 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
Troy. Stop complaining about the lack of articles and write one instead. It doesn’t have to be any good. Mine are ****.
Premandup(Quote)
G2, I remember once going to Colchester for a midweek cup match in the back of a transit with 12 radgies from Annfield Plain. That’s when you earn your stripes mate… Colchester is a canny hike but there were still 2000 toon foot soldiers crammed behind the goal… Happy days mate, though we were pretty gash way back then too 😆 😆 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
I learned much of what I know about old legends from me dad. Talk to your dads and learn as well before it’s too late. Spent many an hour and many a pint with my old man. Nothing better in my opinion than to learn about our club. This is something I posted on Ed’s blog but thought worth mentioning here as well mates.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Cheers Axel @ 194. It had to be done. The drivel was terrible. Discussing a few recent players with our club having more than a hundred year history! Unbelievable. Premand @201 your articles are well researched and well written mate. Many thanks. Munich @202 aye I remember some dross as well but went as often as I could back in the late sixties and we actually won something I can remember! Amazing thrill. 😀
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Prem I dont always agree with your views but I have always thought your articles are well wrote and well researched.
But I would like to see an article from Troy or Stu I think they would pen a good alternative view 😉
Big Dave(Quote)
G2, did you go to any of the Texaco Cup games, or the Anglo Italian Cup games ? That was always canny crack 😆
Munich Mag(Quote)
G2 must be great to be able to remember us winning something ,me being born in 1970 can only remember promotions , relegations and losing cup finals , and still i love it . 😉
Axel(Quote)
Aye Axel, you have seen some canny years though mate… Champions League and stuff 😉
Munich Mag(Quote)
Not lucky enough Munich mate. I could see St. James Park from my bedroom window though. Always loved talking about the club or going to home games with my dad or my uncle who lived down the street but we didn’t go to away games and no season’s ticket that I recall. Couldn’t scratch the money together. My dad was a mechanic on about 20 quid a week and my uncle worked at Vickers Armstrong. Been there on a tour as a youngster as well to watch the tanks being assembled. Quite a thrill. 😀
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Spot on Axel mate @207. Wouldn’t give up on the team for anything no matter what it looked like on the pitch. Too many good memories.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
Aye MM was in the Feyenoord stadium amongst the feyenoord fans when Bellamy scored , i was sitting next too the away section and when the Toon army erputed i was pinned doon in me seat buy the lads that got me a ticket for me own safety otherwise i think i would of got a kicking . i wanted too cheer like a radgie 😆
Axel(Quote)
G2 are you a west end boy mate ? I remember we could hear the roar of the crowd when a goal went in, and in the early days you could smell the hops from the S&N breweries. Happy days…
Axel@211, I would imagine that was pretty exhillerating sitting among the locals and jumping around inside. How soon after the game did you have the chance to jump around like a radgie punching the air and stuff ?
Munich Mag(Quote)
No Munich mate. I was born in Wallsend but moved to a house just off Warwick street. Went to Heaton Grammar school, just a short walk down Jesmond Vale. Beautiful area at the time (in my mind’s eye anyway). The house had a tiny third floor with my bedroom looking straight toward the ground.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
When I say see the ground I’m exaggerating a bit. I could see the glow of the lights from the ground at night but it was still a fantastic sight. I was always begging my dad to take me to games but it was far too rare with a couple of young brothers and only one wage coming in.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
I started kicking a ball with my dad when I was three. Do young’uns still do that? I only have a daughter and its more about clothes, boys, and going out with her (she’s 17).
GeordieTwo(Quote)
A shame not to have some current news to discuss. Come on Joe.
GeordieTwo(Quote)
…lost me after the 2nd paragraph I’m afraid, Preman.
Fair play though. Am a bit daft like. 😎
Rodzilla(Quote)
….@174
“…some only focus on the negative. Oh dear.”
😆 😯
Rodzilla(Quote)
MM@212 yeah i was a brilliant evening it took about half an hour after the game finished . I was in the car on the way home with 3 feyenoord fans singing the blaydon races the whole time the journey took about 45 minutes 😆 😆
Axel(Quote)
i think it’s unfair that season ticket holders cant get there money back. i think people are worried that ashley wont buy any players and the thought of losing to liverpool, scum and arsenal again. i think joe is here to save ashley money. i fear ashley will damage this club in the long run and i cant believe the level of his stupidity! im not looking foward to next season with our strikers, even cisse training alone. carlton cole is looking more likely everyday
terry(Quote)
if cisse leaves or hands in a transfer request we are in trouble!
stem(Quote)
i’m not saying his brilliant but the best striker we have
stem(Quote)
Love it. just love it, when England beats Australia in a test match. I even bought a newspaper this morning to read the excuses. Ha!
But now it’s back to the main game until the next test.
I see we haven’t bought anyone lately.
brisvegas(Quote)
Well, it’s been a couple of hours since I last checked, and we still haven’t bought anybody. What’s wrong with theses guys?
I wouldn’t mind betting that Kinnear’s gone to bed. Bloody hell, he’s had all week to rest and he goes to sleep now, in the middle of the transfer window. Shocking behaviour. There’s just no ambition at this club.
brisvegas(Quote)
What! It’s been almost 5 minutes since I last checked, and still nobody has signed! Unbelievable! And they say they are working around the clock to get somebody in. Can’t believe a thing these fekkers say.
brisvegas(Quote)